


Not How I Imagined Starting Senior Year

by tmo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dreams and Nightmares, M/M, Magic, Spirits, Supernatural Elements, a bit of blood, and that middle of nowhere vibe, awkward Kakashi is awkward, gay in a small town, just a bit, kinda spooky, there is some death too, there's some childbirth in here but not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-08-23 11:00:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 89,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16617692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmo/pseuds/tmo
Summary: New neighbours bring lots of changes and Kakashi finds the first few months of his senior year a mess of fear, confusion and a little bit of affection for the boy next door.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jokes on you guysss, this isn't a sequel to Game of Thorns haaaaa (I'm sorry, I was writing this and the sao au at the same time and it just happened).  
> This was inspired by Beautiful Creatures the novel which if you haven't read it and like this, go read it!

The dreams were consistent. Usually, they were about his dad and Obito but sometimes they would be different. They would be of his godmother as she drank quietly by herself in the living room. Other times, they would be in a dark basement where he would be surrounded by herbs and oddities that looked like they were straight from a witch’s hut. There would be a table at his side where an old, ruffled book was sitting. Thick but plain-covered, he would see someone’s hands move into the candlelight to pick it up and tuck it onto a bookshelf, hidden behind other books.

Those were the regular ones.

But after their neighbours moved in, they changed.

* * *

 

If there was ever a town that could kill anyone with being boring enough, then the small town of Konoha would be it. Not only was its biggest attraction its biggest tragedy but the fact that they had a fair every year to celebrate it was what made this town even more pitiful than it was already.

With another sip of his lemonade, Kakashi licked his lips and squirmed in his seat again for the fifth time in the past two minutes, trying to find a position that was comfy enough in the wooden armchair that would probably be as old as his grandma if she were alive.

It was one of the last days of summer and he had finally refused Gai’s pleas to join him and the other teens at the beach, giving the lame excuse that he was starting to feel like a prune from all the water. The river’s bank wasn’t even a real beach.

He didn't feel like being around them, they were starting to bore him with the old who-was-dating-who and what’s-what that just seemed to be the same gossip going around in circles. It didn’t help that he hadn’t been able to sleep well for the last week. The humidity and heat weren’t a lullaby he wanted, and his over easy brain had started plaguing him with dreams. They were of the rolling fields, the dirt roads and the trees of Konoha that stretched on and on for ages until it would hit another town almost an hour and a half away.

Adjusting his favorite baseball cap, Kakashi stood abruptly and stretched the kinks out of his back, yawning as he slipped into his flip-flops before glancing into a window of the little cottage, he shared with his godmother to find her still dozed off on the couch.

Humming a tuneless song, he pushed open the gates of his family’s land and turned onto the grey cement road that was boiling under the midday sun. Far down the street, there was a gas station that acted as a corner store and beyond that there was a little bakery facing the elementary school. If the distance between any of those had been shorter than a dozen kilometers, he would have walked it, but he had already lubed himself with sunscreen so much that he was as oily as a snail and his pasty ass would use all that up within ten minutes.

The corner store would do, and the walk wouldn’t have taken more than half an hour if he hadn’t paused about midway there.

Among the overgrown, tall bushes and taller trees, the neighbouring driveway was usually gated and closed. It had been years since anyone had lived there. There were rumours of ghosts and spirits that drove people away. The gates were now left open wide and Kakashi caught a glimpse of a car and a moving van.

Curious.

The short walk through the lush forest and down the dirt road brought him closer to the back of the truck that had a few boxes left inside and a long velvet couch. The driveway opened into the front yard and the familiar house Kakashi and his friends used to explore when they were kids. With its white, square columns and black shutters, the house stretched out far on both sides. Kakashi had only ever seen the plantation-style house at night but it was magnificent during the day.

The simple dirt road beyond the truck curved around the side of the house and Kakashi stopped to study the trees in the distance, sun shining through.

“Howdy.”

There was a man on the porch, smiling softly at Kakashi. In blue jeans and a plaid shirt, the man looked to be in his thirties and his smile was welcoming. Kakashi pulled a hand out of his pocket to wave.

“Hi,” he said as the man approached. “Sorry, I saw the moving truck.”

“You must be from down the street.” Their smile stayed, and they shook hands as Kakashi nodded. “Nice to meet you then, neighbour. I’m Minato.”

“Kakashi. Nice to meet you too.” Kakashi nodded to the truck. “Need a hand?”

“That would be very helpful, Kakashi. Thank you.” With a box of what felt like books in his arms, Kakashi followed the man into the house as he spoke. “Our family used to live here a long time ago, so we decided to revamp the place for resale. There’s a job opening at the school and this part of town is very reasonably priced so… Just seemed like the perfect spot.”

“What school will you be working at?” Kakashi wondered if principal Jiraiya had already retired as he was led passed the quite-empty living room into a study where they set down the boxes.

“The primary school. Are you still in high school?” At Kakashi’s nod, Minato winked. “You might not see me around much but maybe you’ll see my wife once she starts teaching again.”

They started back out for the couch this time. “Your wife teaches too?”

“Yes, ethics and society.”

They heaved up the couch and Kakashi mustered a “cool.”

Setting it down, Minato gasped for breath and flopped down onto it as Kakashi marveled at the crown moulding and the stained wood floors for a minute.

“Only one left, I’ll go grab it,” he said finally after an awkward pause of the man breathing heavily without waiting for a response and hopped out towards the trucks to the medium sized box he’d seen before. With the box in his arms, he started walking back but movement in his peripherals caught his attention.

Beyond the house, there was a figure walking away from the house and towards the woods at the back. It was so quiet and quick that he almost didn’t see it but he had and it sent goosebumps up his arms.

Realising he’d stopped in place, Kakashi shifted the box in his arms and headed inside.

“I think there was someone in your…” His words trailed off when he saw who he guessed was the wife.

With a groan, she was holding her very, very pregnant belly and shuffling down the steps. She was saying, “I don’t know where that boy went off to but I swear when he gets back, he’s getting an earful.”

It made sense now why she wasn’t teaching at the moment. Her blue eyes finally saw him when she fell on the last step. Straightening her flowery dress that had patches of dust on it, she exclaimed, “Oh! Hello, I didn’t know we had guests.”

“Hi.” His voice was so soft, he didn’t think she’d heard him over Minato coming back into the hall.

“Perfect.” He shuffled up and took the box from Kakashi’s hands, carrying it down the hall into what was probably the kitchen as he called back, “Kushina, this is Kakashi.”

Moving up, he politely held out his hand and repeated, “Hi. I’m from down the road.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Kushina.” Her smile was dazzling and he was almost taken aback by her genuine warmth. He’d been so used to the casual nod or the fake smiles that this couple was like a breath of fresh air. They felt more real than the people he’d known his whole life.

“Kakashi doesn’t live too far,” Minato was explaining as he came back into the room.

“Yeah, he said he lives down the road,” she agreed.

“Technically, I’m your closest neighbour.” He hadn’t really meant it as a joke but the reality made them all chuckle.

“Well, we’ll have to invite you over to our welcoming party then.” Kushina grinned.

Usually, he’d shrink at the idea of a party with grown adults but he found himself smiling back, “I’d love to come.”

“Sure, you don’t mind hanging out with adults?” Minato joked but Kakashi found that this would probably more exciting than anything his friends could come up with.

“Yeah, I mean, you guys are probably the most exciting people within the county lines right now.”

“Oh, come on,” Kushina chided as she headed through them to the kitchen with Minato following her slowly. “Small towns are the most exciting places on earth.”

“Not like we need any other kind of excitement, anyway.” Minato was saying thoughtfully and Kakashi lingered in the doorway of the kitchen, admiring the new granite countertop.

“Speaking of excitement, I should probably get back.” There was the thought at the back of his mind that soon his godmother would wake up and that she’d want to hear the news. There was that figure too that came to mind again.

“Of course,” The soon-to-be mother was at the calendar, thinking over the next few weeks when she looked to Minato. “Next Friday? We should be unpacked by then.”

“Well, if I’m doing most of the unpacking, which I should be,” Minato looked down at her belly pointedly to their disappointment. “The party might have to wait for a bit. We still need to do a lot of work on this house and there are still things we have to put together.”

“I can always come help.” His offer was genuine and faces of awe and gratitude were the best payment.

“We don’t want to be a bother,” Kushina started but Kakashi shrugged.

“Not much else to do around here.” He also wanted to keep them as far away from some of the other folks in this town for as long as possible before they too became boring. Their energy was infectious and he couldn’t help but smile. “Besides, that’s what good neighbours are for.”

They thanked him as he left with such love that Kakashi wondered if that was just because they were from the city or if they were like that naturally. As he stepped out of the warm and suddenly lively home, Kakashi glanced over his shoulder at the treeline that he’d seen the unknown figure melt into before. He struggled for a moment between listening to the anxious gut feeling by leaving well enough alone or going to check it out just in case but he soothed his worry with the thought that this town was too boring to ruin the only news it had in months.

There were no dreams that night.

The next time he came over, it was a week before his last year of school and they welcomed him with the same kind greetings, offering cookies and a drink.

“So, tell us your story, Kakashi.” Kushina was cleaning a pot in the sink but smiled to him over her shoulder. Even Minato who was wrapped up in work on his laptop across the table peeked up to listen.

Fidgeting under the attention, he wondered what to say. “Well, there’s isn’t much of it. Lived here all my life. My godmother and I usually keep to ourselves since the rest of the town likes to get into fights with itself.”

There were chuckles and even though they stopped watching him, he knew they were listening. “I like to read. If you have any recommendations, I’m always in the market.”

“Oh,” Kushina grinned. “You and I will have a blast then. I’ve got tons of books that I’ve been dying to talk to other people about. Remind me to lend you one series called Icha Icha.”

With a loud groan, Minato shook his head from behind the screen as he gripped, “Please don’t. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“It’s good!” She insisted.

“It’s long.” He contradicted and they started bickering like loving couples do, Kakashi zoning out but still paying half attention.

They all stopped talking when they heard the front door open and close quietly. Turning to see who had walked in, Kakashi only caught the briefest glimpse of a familiar figure in jeans as they turned onto the steps.

“Ah, Iruka,” Kushina waddled her way over and started speaking up the stairs in a soft tone that Kakashi could barely hear.

“We have a guest; do you want to come and meet them?” He could barely hear. “You’ll be going to the same school. He’s really nice.”

There was an inaudible response and as Kushina replied, Kakashi turned back to find Minato watching the same hall with an intense curiosity from behind his screen. “Do you want me to bring you up some food later?”

Eventually she wandered back, the room going quiet for a moment as she went back to washing.

“Well,” Minato started with a forced smile. “Um, do you want to stay for lunch?”

They ended up ordering pizza and while Kushina brought up a plate and drink, Minato watched the hall with a distant fog in his eyes.

“We’re fostering for a little bit.” He started off slowly. “A family friend passed away a few years ago and we finally turned legal age to foster last year…”

The explanation fell on wondering ears. Minato was more reserved now than ever and he seemed reluctant to explain. Kakashi wondered if their relationship with their foster had always been this tense or if it was just so new.

“So, we’ll be going to the same school then.” Kakashi provided and Minato seemed to relax more.

“Yeah, last year of high school for him so hopefully it goes smooth.” With a kind but concerned smile, Minato said, “He’s a bit shy but hopefully you’ll get to meet him once he’s feeling better.”

Kakashi was about to comment about how they were in the same year but he hesitated as Kushina came back down with a lighter air about her. After helping them paint the guest room upstairs with a new coat of white, he was at the edge of the stairs to head back home.

The master bedroom was at the far end of the hall from the stairs tucked away but after the guest room, office and bathroom, there were the stairs right next to another bedroom that was barely pulled closed. He was just stepping down when he caught a glimpse inside the bare room. He just barely saw a bed. In it, there was a lump of what looked like a sleeping person and Kakashi had a feeling that there was merit behind his curiosity.

Back at home, he was in the kitchen when Tsunade came back home with her sighs and groans.

“Finally.” She grumbled into her glass and drank with relieved breath.

“Hard day?” He asked over his shoulder from where he was slicing and he could almost hear her frown.

“If you call helping idiots hard, then yes.” Her snarky responses were always a pleasure to listen to. A smirk on his lips, he told her about his day and she listened with the occasional comment. “Oh? Boy next door, huh?”

He had never heard her tease him in such a way before but when he looked over his shoulder, she was definitely raising her brows at him in a way that suggested something else.

“I haven’t even met him yet.” Kakashi quickly said.

She shrugged and went back to her drink. “I’m just saying. City kid who’s open to many things.”

The insinuation that their neighbour’s foster son might be the second gay in town, Kakashi couldn’t tell if he was intrigued or frustrated. He went with the first one since she had never really teased him on his love life. That was something she had always respected and he was thankful for that. Her try at being supportive was warming. He muttered, “I still don’t know him.”

There was a hum in response and his mind wandered the rest of the night to the new neighbour, speculating what kind of guy he was and what he liked. He kept picturing a hipster with white hair and a soft personality who wanted to be alone more than anything. He wondered if Iruka liked books just as much as Kushina did. There were so many ideas in his head that he started making this image in his mind of the quiet, new guy. Before bed, for just a moment, he imagined Iruka being flirtatiously timid as they talked in his bedroom and the moment leading to other things that would make the old ladies at the grocery store have an instant stroke.

Somewhere along the way, he had fallen asleep at his desk into a world of dreams that looked like a familiar kitchen. It wasn’t his own but if he hadn’t been in it today, he wouldn’t have been able to tell that it was the neighbour’s.

From the hall, someone came into the dark kitchen. It was almost completely pitch black other than the moon shining from the window until the person opened the fridge. In the cold, white glow, he made out the outline of someone with shoulder-length hair and a baggy shirt. The person that looked vaguely like Kushina closed the fridge after finding nothing and instead went to the cupboards. Search without success, the person folded their arms and leaned against the counter next to a glass of water. It was only in the faint moonlight that their dark hair and eyes stood out as not Kushina but someone else.

When eyes turned to him and met his gaze confidently, he snapped awake with little memory of it. He only remembered someone seeing him. It was new and different, leaving every bone in his body on edge.

On his last days of summer, he met up with his friends one more time before they saw each other way too often. At the diner on the main street, he was crammed into the booth with two other people on one side as Anko and Mei argued over higher education and qualifications while he and Gai poured over the menu. The others were listening and giving their own opinion here and there.

“I’m getting it.” Gai snapped his menu shut and Kakashi frowned.

“Come on, Gai.” He whined.

“I like it, okay?”

“You get it every time we come here.” He protested more but he knew Gai had his mind set in stone as he gave his usual French fry and milkshake order to the waitress.

“Who is that?” And that was the point where all conversation in the booth stopped and almost half a dozen teenagers suddenly stood to look out the window in awe.

“Is that a tourist?”

“No, he doesn’t have any bags.” Kakashi took a greedy look out the window and didn’t see anything more than a ponytail now a block away.

“Is he new?”

There was a moment of silence for any other topic that might be brought up and Kakashi knew once everyone pulled out their phones that the whole town would soon be on high alert.

“Wait, my mom says that a family moved into the old Uzumaki place.” And then Kakashi knew he was dead.

They all turned to him and he tried not to look guilty but found himself saying, “They seem nice.”

He pretended for a whole ten minutes that he had only ever seen them once from afar and didn’t know anything about them until he finally stood and climbed over into the other booth to get out of the interrogation and the diner.

“Try and hide your best friends now.” Tsunade teased as he headed up to his room after an exhausting day. His phone had been going off nonstop from texts and there was even a group chat dedicated to dissecting everything that was the new family and their foster son. There was speculation left and right but he had to uninstall. That night he read himself to sleep in an attempt to escape the swirling around him that only included the young couple next door and their teenage foster.

If only it was that easy. Instead, he dreamed again. It was the same scene. The moonlit kitchen net door but this time the young man who was leaned against the counter was now at the kitchen table with a hot drink.

“Have you been here long?” A soft tenor came from him and Kakashi felt it tug him closer, the fuzzy face becoming clearer with every word. He seemed to be talking to the seat across from him as if someone were there in the empty chair.

“That’s not that bad. How many others are there?”

There was quiet again but when Kakashi focused on the other chair, he was able to make out that the space was warped. It looked like a cheesy movie effect that indicated where someone invisible was supposed to be. Once he noticed it, a voice started to trickle into his head mid sentence. “-used to be more.”

There was a nod from the teenager and his eyes trained to the backdoor that went out to the yard and forest beyond.

“Can you sense her?” The mood went from inquisitive to sombre and heavy in seconds.

“Yes,” The voice said in its whispering tone, barely audible but there. In response, the young man visibly shivered and shrunk into his shirt.

“Just a few more weeks.” Was the quiet reassurance to himself before the young man seemed to push away the topic and look up to where Kakashi was. “Do you know him too?”

“Yes,” The voice said and a wave of horror and panic ripped Kakashi from sleep.

Panting with wide eyes staring at his dark bedroom ceiling, he calmed back down into confusion and bewilderment.

In seconds, he had his phone out and opened his notes so that he could write down what he remembered. A younger Kakashi used to write down all his dream and he still remembered them because of it.

Staring at the bright screen and the words he wrote, he kept that moonlit face and the voice of the unseen person in his mind. There was something going on in that house. Dreams like that were usually not without reason and he had an eerie feeling that they were more based in reality.

He set out for the neighbour’s the next day, hoping to catch any glimpse of the boy next door to find if he was right or wrong about his assumptions.

He wasn’t that lucky.

Over the next few days, it was either that the kid was asleep with the door closed, missing from the Uzumaki home or that no one was home at all.

But the day finally came when he put a name to a face and so did everyone at school. As he pulled open his new locker for the first time that year, he heard the hall go a few decibels quieter. There was an obvious shift in the air that was like static on his skin and he looked up to see a few students sprinting down the steps eagerly to their friends, whispering quickly to them as the young and unexpected Iruka Umino stepped into his world properly.

With a slouched posture and a carefree facade, Iruka was the same brunet from his dream. The same tight ponytail and dark eyes that had looked him straight in the eyes for the past few nights. His jeans were tight but nondescript and his green tee was the same. The only striking features were the faint scar from one cheekbone to the other and the activity tracking watch on his wrist.

Everything about him screamed ‘good kid’ and ‘kinda awkward’. There wasn’t a trace of rebellion anywhere except for the pair of beat up chucks and the rips in his jeans. It was kind of endearing.

Averting his eyes, Kakashi felt the sea of students part behind him as the presence moved down the hall to the waning interest of everyone else.

They had all their classes together as most seniors did and he covertly studied Iruka over the next few hours. He seemed like a good kid if not a little bored. The young man was often staring out windows lost in thought.

At lunch, they all took to the cafeteria and there was no sign of the new kid. Kakashi hoped that he wasn’t being stalked and swarmed by embarrassingly curious locals, wherever he was. It was only when Kakashi was heading back to class when he saw a familiar figure get up from behind a tree out in the lawn.

The next few days went the same but there were no dreams. The only time he got to see the boy next door was in class. Week moving on, he didn’t get a chance to speak to him. Mostly, Iruka sat on the other side of the room and didn’t even know Kakashi existed. It was only when Kakashi was passing out work that Iruka finally, really saw him. Through the mindless chatter of class, Kakashi looked up when Iruka didn’t take the page he was handing out. And there was that stare he had memorized from his dreams.

“Pick it up, Hatake.” Was the teacher’s warning and they both snapped back, looking away and letting each other get back to their work.

From then on, it wasn’t him sneaking glances. It was both flattering and uneasy to be under someone’s scope.

It was Thursday night and he lay away in bed, ignoring Tsunade on the phone downstairs and falling into his own mind. Out of what he thought was innocent curiosity, he pulled open his phone and pulled up social media in a sneaky attempt to know more. After seeing his messages in the hundreds and ignoring them all, he went looking for one Iruka Umino to no avail. Strangely enough, there was no mention of Iruka, Minato or Kushina anywhere on social media. It got him wondering if it was a lifestyle choice that city folk were taking up.

A bark of laughter from downstairs reminded him of reality and he put his phone to bed for the night.

Half passed three in the morning, he felt his mind forming a dream again.

This time, it felt like he was really standing in Minato and Kushina’s room. He saw them sleeping quietly but the were an edge to the air. The shadows seemed to be darker and the light from between the drapes was so thin.

It gradually got worse. The air around them was falling in temperature. Any light in the room was dimming like a switch from outside. Everything seemed to hold its breath for who knows what.

Kakashi was stuck where he was, unable to move or turn his head and when the door slowly creaked open, he wished he could run.

Fear, oppressive and setting off every alarm in his mind, was what filled the room when a tall, thin shadow moved into the room. It was slow but with a direct trajectory. It hovered barely off the ground and went straight for the sleeping Kushina who had no idea what was happening.

When it was directly above her and still moving in, she finally woke up and screamed but no sound came out. Straining to help, Kakashi watched in horror as it continued to move in closer.

The endless shadow only stopped at the sound of someone running to the room and crying out at it, “Stop!”

In a whirl of air, Kakashi was thrown back into his own bed with a panic that had him throwing on pants and running down the stairs.

Hyped up on adrenaline and panic, he took off through the woods in unlaced shoes to the sound of Tsunade calling his name in a similar confusion.

“Kakashi!?” Her voice died out as branches slapped his arms and legs. All those days of running with Gai had paid off and he was at the neighbour’s in barely a minute. Out of the thick woods, he paused just on the edge of the yard to breathe and watch.

A person who he could barely make out as Iruka in sweatpants and a white shirt hurried out of the house and down the steps, turning back to watch the front door.

Kakashi couldn’t see it. There was no visual representation of the shadow he had seen but the chill down his spine told him that what Iruka was seeing something he couldn't.

In nervous and jittery movement, Iruka started walking backwards off the property, keeping his eyes locked on what Kakashi couldn’t see. Seemingly satisfied with something, he spun around and marched away from Kakashi. He only barely stumbled once but soon he was running and Kakashi didn’t know what to make of it.

He was walking up to the house slowly, feeling the chill finally leave as he entered the wide-open front door.

The house was quiet. He could only hear soft talking upstairs that silenced when he started up the stairs.

“Minato? Kushina?” He called.

“K... Kakashi?” A confused Minato came out of the master to look down at him. “What are you doing here?”

As Kakashi climbed up, a tear-stained Kushina joined her husband at the steps. He saw how haggard and tired they looked, the remnants of fear still on their pale faces. He didn’t really have an answer for them. Instead, he asked, “Are you okay?”

Exchanging looks, the couple wasn’t sure either what to say. It was only a moment later when they all looked at each other that Minato started, “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You need to go home, sweetheart, please.” Kushina pleaded, gripping Minato’s hand but even though Kakashi was taken aback by their warmth, he knew that he couldn’t leave.

“Is it gone?” He demanded.

“For now.” Was the response he wasn’t glad to receive. “Go home, Kakashi.”

It was after a drawn-out silence that he stood down. He was glad they were okay at the very least. But where had Iruka gone? Weren’t they worried?

He wanted to ask question but he saw how they were on the brink of falling apart so he left well enough alone.

Taking in same path back, he slowly walked through the dark forests by the light of his phone until he reached the tall grass of their lawn. On the porch, Tsunade was frowning at him with crossed arms and an expression that screamed pissed. The closer he got, the more that expression melted into worry but once he got within a few feet, he stance changed into on edge.

“Kakashi.” She snapped and it stopped him in his tracks. “You were at the neighbour’s, weren’t you?”

Tired from the confusion and panic, Kakashi said, “Yes.”

“I don’t want you going back there ever again.” Her serious tone changed and she motioned him inside. “Come on.”

And that was the end of it for the night. He didn’t know was Tsunade knew or what was going on but he knew that whatever that shadow was, it meant nothing good.

He hoped everyone would be okay though.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nervously upload chapter, afraid of disappointing everyone* HNG

Laying in bed frozen in shock and fear, his limbs were so clenched up that he forgot how to breathe for a second. A shiver kicked his body back into gear and he sat up. It was freezing cold in his room even though it was still summer and the sun was so bright that it stung his eyes.

The incident from the night had him off kilter in the morning. Tsunade didn't bring it up at breakfast. They just crunched down on dry cereal without speaking. Her words were at the front of his mind though. They hinted that she knew things he didn't. He wanted to ask questions but the right words weren't coming to mind.

Instead, she dropped him off at school just as a familiar car pulled into the parking lot behind them. It went to the back and parked but before Tsunade left, she eyed Kakashi down. She didn't have to tell him to stay away, he knew what she was thinking but he couldn't stop himself from thinking of the night before and the panic and the fear on Kushina's face.

From the other side of the parking lot, a bright spark of blond hair moved into view. Minato had the same fatherly air around him that everyone at school had grown instantly accustomed to, a composed exterior that pretended the night before hadn't happened. A brown ponytail followed from the same car.

"Kakashi," Was Tsunade's warning and he stepped inside the school, heeding the threat in her tone.

"The drama club needs everyone's support for the school's booth at the fair this year. So, don't forget your five-dollar donations next week." The teacher droned on, patting the plain box next to his desk that the drama club had brought in a few days before, a box of donations for the bake sale the school did every year for the October First Fair. As per routine, the drama club was in charge of putting on a play of Konoha's most dramatic tragedy and the people who died in it, making a profit by selling two-dollar cookies that were almost good at the end.

"Alright class, turn your pages to chapter five."

The class quietly shuffled through their books and almost instantly forgot what the teacher had just said until they finally settled down into the light whispering of pencils on pristine paper. The fluorescent lights above were turned off to let the sun outside do its work. Everyone's eyes were on their books but Kakashi was more interested in following the sun to the teenager across from him who was doing his best to ignore him, outlined by the sun's glimmering rays. Although, every now and then, Kakashi would feel eyes on him.

It occurred to him that if what he had seen really did happen, then every other time had been just as real and maybe Iruka could sense that. The very idea was silly but it was more real than any excuse he could come up with. He realised that if that was real than what about all the other dreams?

Shivers ran down his spine. He almost wanted to ignore it now. Some of the things he'd seen happened too long ago to remember or were too traumatic to be real.

"Kakashi." Gai was next to him, the rest of the class filing out. He hadn't even noticed the bell ring. "Lunch room?"

He glanced around the room and found they were the last ones sitting, everyone filling out including a high ponytail.

"Yeah," Following Gai in a haze, he pushed away his own thoughts deep down into a box and focused on the bigger issue at hand. How this bigger issue revolved around the family next door.

The lunch room was filled with loud echoes just like any other day and the gang was slouched at a table near the middle, chatting darkly about teachers and how Aoba wanted to plan a party. It was the usual ramble and Kakashi was zoned out in his leftovers from the night before even though he heard his name mentioned a few times to try and get his reaction to something.

"Guys!" Anko piped up from her side of the table and everyone was suddenly alert, trying to be discreet about how they watched the new guy step into the cafeteria for the first time. Kakashi gave into the temptation and snuck a peek from his food to see him go to the canteen, his ponytail unwavering with every step but Kakashi wondered if he had always looked that tired.

Brown eyes met his. Kakashi sheepishly looked down at his food again before he could notice the intrigue in them.

"He looked this way!" Anko wheezed out.

From down the table, Tsume grinned and taunted, "Maybe you should go talk to him!"

If the teasing was anything to go by and the way Anko's cheeks flared, it meant that there were feelings involved. That meant trouble. Kakashi didn't know why he felt uneasy all of a sudden.

"Okay," Anko breathed. "I'll be back."

She took to the other side of the hall where Iruka was getting lunch and somehow, they struck up a conversation, to Iruka's surprised expression. The next thing they all knew, Iruka and Anko were walking back together to the gang's table where everyone tried to hide their anticipation.

"Hey guys, this is Iruka." Anko introduced with a proud smirk.

For the first time, Iruka spoke in person with a sheepish, "Hiya."

Kakashi didn't know why he shivered. It was like an echo from when he woke up that morning.

"This is Genma, Hayate, Kabuto," Anko went on around the table and Kakashi regretted all the milk he'd drank as a kid because he was way too tall to hide behind anyone and made direct eye contact again when Anko said his name. This time, eyes didn't linger on him as they went down the table but Kakashi didn't drop his anxious guard. He didn't know why Iruka made him so nervous.

"Welcome to the gang, Iruka," Genma greeted with a nod as they sat down.

"Thanks." There was still that sheepish charm that had everyone even more excited than before. Even Kakashi could agree that it made his cheek burn a little.

"So, where you from?"

Someone asked and Iruka answered, "Well, I've been in Kuma for most my life but my family is from this area originally."

"Really?"

"Wow, your whole life? What's it like?"

Kakashi zoned out of the conversation more, choosing to eat rather than to listen to the others ask all sorts of questions that leaned on too personal sometimes. It was odd, being at a table with someone who you knew through rumours and dreams. It should have been a demystifying experience but every polite, vague response Iruka gave only served to fuel Kakashi's curiosity even more despite everything. There was a lingering weariness from the night before but that seemed to make it all the more frustrating. Didn't help that he was still sleepy.

"Is there anyone waiting for ya?" Some who sounded like Tsume asked and he found himself listening to the flustered response.

"No, no one's waiting for me anywhere really."

"Aw, we'll wait for you, Iruka," Was the sickly-sweet grin from Anko.

Eventually, the bell rang and they were back in class.

Iruka was invited to go out for food on the weekend but he politely refused, saying that he had work to do at home and that was the end of that topic.

The next day, Kakashi felt too intimidated to go over to see the neighbours. He didn't know what to say or if he even should. Tsunade had a close eye on him whenever she was home and when she wasn't, she always had a list of chores waiting for him. It kept him busy and he was grateful for it on one hand. On the other, he was jumping under his own skin.

He still found a slim window on Sunday night while Tsunade was out with her friends to sneak over. His courage was gathered and he didn't know what to say but he wanted to know they really were okay.

Walking down the dirt road in the dark evening to the white-painted home, he ducked into the bushes at the sight of someone locking the front door and heading out to the forest. He had no doubt this time that it was Iruka.

At the front door, fiddling with the plastic container in hand, he didn't wait long before his knock summoned Minato to the front door.

"Ah, Kakashi." He greeted plainly.

"Kakashi?" A voice echoed in the back and Kushina appeared with a surprised but welcoming smile that Kakashi's tension melt away.

"It's good to see you again," Minato sincerely said as Kushina came up behind him. They looked at each other before he asked, "What brings you so late?"

"I made you some dessert." He awkwardly motioned to his package and they dropped their caution.

"Come inside."

At their kitchen table again, Kushina was distracting herself with putting things away while Minato sat him down. "Kakashi."

There was a pause before Kakashi took up the torch. Without realising what he was saying, he admitted, "I've had dreams since I was a kid. Last night, I saw something dark in your room. That's why I came over."

His bold confession threw them for a loop and they didn't know what to say. Neither did Kakashi and he suddenly regretted everything, pursing his lips as if he could suck his words right back in.

"So…" Kushina started but quickly closed her mouth, still not finding her words.

"Since you were a kid?" Minato asked and Kakashi nodded. Their interest told him enough. "Have you told anyone else about this?"

He thought to Tsunade and how he had told her when he was a kid, how she laughed it off, two very different reactions. "Not really."

They looked at each other in uncertainty before Kushina stared him down. "You saw it then."

She saw his nod and went on. "You know how dangerous it is then. That's why we can't get you involved. We can't put that on you too."

He had been shooed away a few minutes later with many thanks for the food and he thoughtfully walked back home.

That night he lay in bed, thinking of their words.

He saw what Kushina meant first hand though.

Over the next week, he saw how Iruka didn't come back to the group's table at lunch. There were circles under his eyes that grew rapidly darker with every day. His hair was eventually let down and he seemed to be a shadow in hoodies that hid from everyone. He stopped making eye contact with everyone and there were rumors floating around the tables and halls. He had become like a part of the school itself, as tired and worn as the old pipes hooked to the ceiling.

"What was he doing on that side of town in the middle of the night?" Genma was frowning and looking out the window to the tree at the edge of the yard where you could barely see a figure slumped against the base on the other side.

"I don't know. He seemed really nice." Anko murmured while a few others huffed.

"He doesn't even like hanging out with us. Or anyone for that matter."

"A real flake."

Iruka started falling asleep in class. Eyes would sink shut automatically and his head would be on the desk in seconds of being in class. Kakashi had a feeling that he knew what kept him up that late and so far from home.

It was Thursday that things started happening. If he hadn't been looking, he wouldn't have seen Iruka lift his head off the desk suddenly and glance out the window at his side. In a moment, his eyes widened and there was a blast above everyone's heads. Everyone screamed in shock and ducked as glass rained down on them but when Kakashi came out of his flinch, he was the only one that saw Iruka's shadow as he hurried out of the class. As the class gasped in shock, it took them a few moments to realise that the fluorescent lights above them had all shattered. It didn't dawn on him until later that they didn't have to shake glass out of their clothes. All of it had ended up on the floor.

It had left everyone shaken and unable to continue the class as the janitor came to inspect the lights. While the janitor cleaned, they had been quarantined to the hall as other classes poked out to see what had happened. Kakashi saw a flash of blond poke out and Minato exchanged a look with him that seemed to suggest that wasn't abnormal for him.

That stormy Friday was the worst though. Tensions had been high to begin with everyone antsy about the dark skies outside and hoping to not get caught in the rain as they came home. It hadn't even started raining yet but everyone seemed to be inside, milling by Kakashi as he put books back into his locker, one more period to go before they could go home. He moved through the light traffic of the halls, trying to find Gai as he maneuvered around people sitting against their lockers that were plastered with flyers of the play and the fair.

He had only caught the tail end of the argument but he heard something about skinny jeans and turned a corner to see one of the kids from a class over calling out at someone who was walking away.

"Fucking rude." The kid called but Iruka with hair hanging near his shoulders in his black, skinny jeans wasn't paying any attention. A brief wave of admiration for seeming so confident, Kakashi and a few other interested students watched the spectacle until the kid spat out a muttered word. "Fag."

Immediately, Iruka stopped in his tracks to no one's surprise. The dimly lit hallway felt even darker in that second and he saw students move back or press closer to the lockers on the walls. As Iruka turned to face them again, a loud groaning sound came from the plumbing above their heads right before they all burst downward, sending water raining down from all ends. Students shrieked and started running as water covered them from head to toe but Kakashi was watching the violent rage in Iruka's eyes melt away with the water, turning into abject horror before following the crowd out.

As everyone waited on the lawn with rain clouds gathering overhead, Kakashi noted Iruka's absence. Students grumbled about not being dry and the drama students loudly complained and flaunted about how they were missing play practice for the October First Fair.

Other students waited as teachers scrambled to figure things out but like the most part of them, Kakashi took to the car he and Tsunade shared to escape the sudden downpour of rain. He stayed in the quiet car for a moment, feeling the pull that told him to drive.

It was as if there was a string attached to his mind that kept bringing his thoughts right back to the same person.

The rain was getting much worse, the last bits of summer rain falling down onto the windshield in loud drumming. Air still warm, he could have stayed out in the rain but instead he started the car.

He told himself he was heading home. Even through the heavy rainfall though, he kept his eyes open for Iruka. It was gradually coming down even worse with every second that passed, deafening any other noise in the car and blinding him many feet ahead. Down the slick paved road, he was barely able to see the lines let alone the trees or the person that he almost hit.

With a yank of the wheel, the car skidded to the side and narrowly avoided the person by a few inches.

And then the car ground down to a final stop. Kakashi was left sitting in the still car with a racing heart and hands glued to the wheel. He almost killed someone. He'd almost ran someone over with the car and kill them.

"Holy shit." He gasped out in a sudden rush of adrenaline, stumbling out of the car into the showers outside. Holding his knees in his hands and breathing hard, he pulled himself together to see the other teen down the street like a frightened, soaking wet puppy.

"Hey," Kakashi finally hailed with a wave. Iruka was holding his elbows and watching him but not saying much. His eyes were huge and he looked poised to run or breakdown. From his long hair to his sneakers, he was drenched and Kakashi didn't know whether to even try apologizing for almost running him over or ask why Iruka was walking home in the rain without anything other than a white shirt to cover his skinny shoulders. He couldn't find words for either of those questions though.

Looking back at the car, Kakashi motioned to it. "Want a ride?"

Iruka really looked at him for the first time and that suspicion slowly fell away. For the first time, he spoke to Kakashi directly, "Yeah."

In the car, he waited patiently as Iruka got in and shut the door. It was a quiet drive. He didn't dare glance over at Iruka, knowing the other was glancing his way every few seconds. It wasn't a tense drive but the quiet was sure deafening. Iruka's words almost made him jump. "Sorry."

He finally looked over, confused at what Iruka meant until he saw the motion to the seats. "About the water."

"Don't worry about it. Sorry for almost running you over." Iruka seemed to relax more, nodding softly as his eyes fell away from him to the road. He didn't need to wonder if Iruka knew who he was; he got in the car after all. It wasn't tense but there was a quiet uncertainty about everything like they were just testing the waters.

He wondered what Iruka thought of him, if he knew Kakashi had watched him in his kitchen a few times.

Shifting into park, they sat in his car outside the Uzumaki household as Iruka looked out at the home. Iruka got out but lingered at the door, biting his lip.

"Ahn… Thank you." Iruka's lips were forming words but his voice stopped coming, hesitating. "Kakashi…"

"Yeah?" He prompted, thrilled at the sound of his own name and wondering if Iruka was going to bring up any of the events of the last few weeks.

Looking away, Iruka let whatever he had been thinking of go and instead gave him a smirk. "Thanks for the ride."

And Kakashi only barely saw a sliver of someone real in that face.

The door was shut on that conversation and he watched Iruka hurry up the front steps before backing out of the long driveway. But he saw the way Iruka looked back at him, hair curling at the tips from the rain, and he couldn't help but wonder why this problematic teen felt like his type. It almost made him forget about the very ominous beginning of the week.

After picking Tsunade up from work and deftly avoiding the questions about why the seats were so wet, she treated him to late night take out. Her face changed though when he mentioned the pipes bursting.

"Mhm," She grumbled and he wondered why she was so upset. "That boy is trouble."

"Iruka? Why?" Kakashi asked, confused at her odd attitude towards the neighbours. What did she know that he didn't?

She shook her head. "Trust your godmother."

He lost his appetite, saying quietly, "He seems nice."

There was an indescribable look in her eyes. Its kind of looked oddly sympathetic.

But he couldn't leave it alone anymore. He was too interested now.

Which is why he lied to her and said he was going out to hang out with Gai. In the car, he realised what he was doing and how that was his first time lying to Tsunade about anything. Maybe he was too candid.

He had paid the couple next door a visit to their hesitation but they let him in anyway. He listened to their day and the complaining Kushina did about her back pain before excusing himself back to the car, saying Tsunade was waiting. Driving through town, there was no sign of the boy next door but he noticed the rain had stopped. Trying to put himself in Iruka's shoes, he puttered around the bigger spots for people to hang out without luck. Then he remembered the rumors and started towards the edge of town to no avail there.

"If I were a hormonal foster child with no vehicle and something very spooky happening at home," He muttered to himself. "Where would I be?"

The car was quiet.

"Maybe I was too specific."

After driving down most main roads, he found himself on the main drag to the next town over. He just passed Hagoromo's statue marking the edge of town and then it was just open road. The sun was down, the stars were out and the only lights for miles were his headlights. Quiet and empty, the one-lane highway kept going in front of him and the hypnotic yellow line had him lost in the music from the radio. He was beginning to wonder why he bothered beside the nagging itch to know what was going on. It wasn't his business, he knew that but he felt drawn in.

The tall trees cut away and there were only rolling hills of tall grass for miles save for a single tree ahead. It was the only tree in miles, standing there in dedication to someone who had died in an accident a many years ago. Leaning up against the tree was a bike.

When he pulled the car over near the tree, Iruka sat up out of the grassy hill beyond it against all odds but exactly according to his intuition.

"Hey," Kakashi called, making his way to the tree and leaning against it as Iruka watched him dazed.

"Hey," Was Iruka's response after a while of starring.

"Sorry, I saw the bike." Kakashi nodded to it and he noticed the soft guitar music playing from an old music player by Iruka's side.

"S'okay. Not like I'm trying to hide." Iruka said casually and leaned back on his elbows, looking up at the dark sky.

"Even though you're fifty miles away from any form of civilisation?"

Kakashi meant it as a playful banter but Iruka response wasn't as playful back. "Kind of hard to hide."

He tugged on a smile though and patted the grass as an invitation, one that Kakashi took. For a while, they sat together in the quiet grass as it rustled and it felt peaceful there under the stars with no one around except each other's quiet company. It reminded him of when he used to do it by himself as a kid.

When Kakashi laid back completely, he was able to see the way Iruka's hair looked cleanly washed and pulled up. He wondered why Iruka kept it long, if it was just by preference or if that was the way city kids liked it. Iruka wasn't all that different from everybody else. He wore plain clothes and was nice to anyone who approached him. They had barely even interacted until then but he had a sixth sense about people and their characters. His intuition told him nothing about the person next to him though. If anything, Iruka looked tired.

"So why were those guys bothering you today?"

Cheeks burned and Kakashi noted how charming it was.

"Well," Iruka started off timidly. "I kind of overheard them say some things that were… Well, let's just say that I'm not too fond of their outlooks on modern rights."

There was an unsure and tentative way Iruka spoke of it and Kakashi knew from experience what he meant. "Ahn, so bold of you to speak up against them."

"Yeah?" Iruka huffed and pulled his legs in, crossing them as he said, "Don't think it really matters if I'm the only one bothered by it."

"Don't worry; you're not the only one." His words had been vague enough to hint at what he meant but it looked like Iruka hadn't caught on.

"Good." He looked over, smiled Kakashi's way and that was the end of that conversation.

Eventually Iruka laid down and Kakashi asked quietly, "What's this song called?"

"Hm? Oh, um, it's called 'Old Friend'. They're uh…" Seemingly flustered by the question, Iruka let out a laugh. "They're a group from the east coast and they're really chill."

"Yeah? They sound good." Kakashi smiled in Iruka's direction. "I'm used to listening to playlists that Gai makes."

"Have you known each other long?"

"Since we were kids." There was a whimsical look in Iruka's eyes and Kakashi wondered if Iruka had friends like Gai back in the city. "Do you miss it? The city."

There was a quiet that fell upon them again and he watched Iruka look away, out to the treeline as if entranced by the trees' stillness. "Not really. I wasn't there for long."

Iruka looked over at Kakashi again, knees pulled up and nervously pulling at his fraying jeans. "I mean… You know Kushina and Minato. You know I'm not their real son."

"Foster son." There was a hint of relief at Kakashi's acknowledgement in both of them at the admission that they both knew Kakashi at least had been over to the Uzumaki home before and on the same page about Iruka's odd situation.

The conversation faded again as Iruka's eyes wandered back to the trees, asking faintly, "Do you have the time?"

With a glance at his watch, he replied, "Two in the morning."

Looking at each other, they chuckled and started towards the car and Iruka's bike. He watched Iruka go for his bike and his polite side kicked in. The trunk was popped open, seats were pulled down and without a word he motioned for Iruka's bike, taking it from the surprised young man and helping it into the back.

In the car, they headed back down the lonely highway and he caught a glimpse of Iruka's eyes following the same part of the treeline before it was out of sight.

"Thanks, Kakashi." Iruka sincerely said as Kakashi walked him around to the back of the Uzumaki house. "That's twice in one day, you know?"

"Happy to help," Kakashi replied honestly as Iruka leaned the bike against the side of the house and unlocked the back door.

Iruka looked like he was about to say something but bit his lip and smiled. "Really. Thank you."

With a similar smile, Kakashi nodded and waved goodbye.

Tsunade hadn't been awake to give him any funny look when he got back home and the night ended with him falling asleep without any hiccups.

But he did wake up to Tsunade swearing downstairs and the smell of burning. After putting out the small fire at the stove, she laughed and said to his surprise, "Happy birthday."

In his new, hand-me-down truck, they went out for food and she brought him to the tiny book store just off main street, telling him to pick three books. Even though he didn't really have an interest in many of the books there, he humoured her and found a few notebooks and pens instead. After going to the bar and toasting his first drink, he drove her home where she promptly drank more.

Happy to get him out of the house, she didn't ask when he headed out into the night.

Without really thinking, he found himself on the road of out town again.

When he pulled up to the same tree, he saw Iruka jolt out of the grass and head quickly for his bike. It was only when he was about to get on that he saw who stepped out of the truck.

"Kakashi?" He asked incredulously. "Wh… New ride?"

"Yeah." Kakashi glanced at the pick up as if never noticing. "Sorry if I surprised you. Just kind of ended up here again."

It was sort of the truth. He knew though that he wanted to know more about the boy next door, what was going on and everything about their family. He enjoyed Iruka's company mostly.

"That's okay. So, Virgo huh?" Iruka grinned and they dropped into the grass by the tree.

"Yeah, Tsunade doesn't usually remember. I barely did."

"She's your godmother, right?"

He looked at Iruka to find the teen's face blank and he squinted at Iruka, trying to be funny. "Maybe. Are you stalking me?"

"No," Iruka stared at him back, equally playful but there was something more behind it. "Are you?"

With the seriousness of the question, they fell awkwardly quiet until Kakashi said truthfully, "Not intentionally."

And Iruka seemed unfazed. He looked off with a nod and Kakashi took the time to wonder if Iruka knew that already.

"I didn't get you anything." Iruka muttered and Kakashi registered his words just as Iruka was standing, reaching out a hand to help Kakashi up. "Come on, let's take a trip in your new ride."

There was that smirk again.

Challenged, Kakashi took the hand provided and they loaded Iruka's bike into the back.

When Iruka's door didn't close right, he had to lean over and tug it shut but otherwise they were off down the road without a hitch. Catching the flush on Iruka's cheeks, he couldn't help the tight anxiousness in his chest either but he distracted Iruka with his minimal knowledge of cars and Iruka was far too attentive.

It was late into the evening when they got back and Iruka propped his bike against the house as he asked, "Want to come in?"

The question was made with a clear conscience but Kakashi couldn't tell if his supposed gaydar was going off for the first time in his life or if the side effects of eye contact with city boys included anxiety and heart palpitations.

"Sure."

Through the kitchen and up the stairs, they quietly padded up to Iruka's room where Iruka closed the door behind them. A bed, chest and bookshelf were the only main components of the room other than the wall to his right that was painted completely in chalkboard paint. On it, there were tons of numbers and words scrawled haphazardly in white chalk. Iruka looked back to find him writing in an empty spot.

"'Kakashi was here.' Brilliant." He teased, flopping onto the bed of dark sheets.

Straightening up, Kakashi proudly dusted off his hands and turned to quirk a brow at Iruka. "You don't like my masterpiece?"

There was a chuckle and Iruka sat up, patting the bed beside him and reaching into the backpack by his bed. "I have something for you."

Pulling out a small stack of books tied with twine, he turned to Kakashi as the taller teen sat down.

"So… Kushina said that she was going to lend these to you and asked me to give them to you at school. But then I kept forgetting and… Well, I was kind of intimidated by you." He drifted off to Kakashi's flattered benefit and their burning cheeks. "Anyway, they kind of got wet yesterday but they should be good now."

As Kakashi took the gift, he noticed the distinct crinkling on the edges and how they had been somewhat smoothed over. He wondered if they had been blow-dried to save them and the thought of Iruka meticulously blow drying the books page by page made his chest flip. "Thank you."

After a moment, Iruka coughed and shifted. "Well, don't thank me yet. Those books are pretty raunchy. Mostly just unrealistic scenarios and characters."

"Yeah?" Kakashi chuckled and flipped the bundle over to read the summary of the last book.

"Oh yeah." Iruka was going on, flushing as he said, "I mean… I don't know about most small towns but finding another gay guy in a small town is like trying to find hay in a needlestack."

Other than the horribly appropriate pun, Kakashi picked up on the way Iruka spoke. So, he needled with a chuckle, "Are you saying that from experience?"

Iruka huffed despite his burning cheeks and crossed his arms defensively. "Maybe I am. Not that I'm looking for boyfriend right now."

The smile slowly faded as Iruka's thought process changed gears and Kakashi visibly could see the weight of it on his shoulders. He knew what Iruka was thinking about; the thing that was hovering around his family with its icy grip. He hadn't had any dreams for the passed few days but he didn't want to jinx it. He couldn't feel anything in the air around them. It probably wasn't far.

With a laboured smirk, Iruka looked over at Kakashi, "I usually don't have a say in matters of the heart though. Even if it's my own."

Kakashi wanted to ask but he knew he shouldn't even be talking to Iruka, let alone be in his bedroom. Tsunade, Minato and Kushina's voices were all ringing warnings in his head even though Iruka's warm eyes and smile were magnetic.

"The heart wants what the heart wants." He couldn't help but murmur and nodded to the books. "Thanks though, really."

"No problem. I don't really read all that much…" Iruka commented as he flopped back onto his sheets.

"More of the music type, huh?"

"Yeah, easier to carry around." Iruka grinned.

"Well, I've never had to workout my shoulders." Kakashi joked around and they chuckled, talking about how Iruka used to play soccer at his old school and how Kakashi often helped Gai train for track and field by biking along beside him in the spring.

"There was this one spring a few years back where he insisted on going in the freezing cold rain." Iruka hissed painfully at the thought and Kakashi continued, "So, like a good friend I took out my bike and followed him around town until the rain got worse and worse. Turns out we were running through hurricane Taro."

"What?" Iruka exclaimed but slapped a hand over his mouth. They both paused, listening to see if they woke anyone up. When there was no sound, Iruka hissed quietly, "That was a category 3. How did you not die?"

"Well, we didn't get much of it since we're so inland. It rained so much though." He chatted, wondering what time it was. "We sort of flooded a bit. Tsunade was running around trying to keep the water out of the house."

He noticed his phone out of the corner of his eye. When he saw the time, he went, "Wow, it's late."

When Iruka looked over his shoulder to see, the teen scoffed, "More like early."

"I should probably get back."

As he stood, Iruka followed him, saying cheerily, "At least we don't have school tomorrow… Well, today."

At the front door, Kakashi lingered. He joked, "So, same time tonight then?"

With his blush bright in the light of his warm side lamp, Iruka held back a painful smirk and ground out playfully, "Maybe."

They chuckled as Kakashi stepped down towards his truck, waving as he got in and backed out. Not seeing the smile fade off Iruka's face and how he retreated into himself once more.

Tsunade was fast asleep when he came home in the early hours and it was only when he dropped into bed, looking at the books on his desk, that he realised what had happened.

He, the only gay for miles, had been in the bedroom of another recently uncovered gay who had been kind of flirting with him or at least trying to find out whether Kakashi was gay. And yet he hadn't said anything. The only person who he could have been open about his sexuality and he completely missed that opportunity.

Maybe that was why Kushina had given him the books. Was it obvious that he wasn't as straight as the town liked to believe?

Glancing over at the books on his desk, he snatched the first one up and started reading until he fell asleep.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade's call woke him up in the afternoon and he trudged downstairs to find her sitting in the living, uneasily calm.

"Have a good time last night?" She asked, severely subdued and he knew something was wrong.

"Yeah. Had a good drive."

She hummed in response as he moved through to the kitchen but her words stopped him. "I thought I told you that he was trouble."

Freezing on the spot, he looked back at her. Her anger was palpable and he hadn't seen her motherly side in a long time. But this made him frustrated. He asked quietly, "Why do you hate him so much? Why do the Uzumakis scare you?"

"They don't." Her words led to little meaning and his frustration climbed more.

"Then why do you hate Iruka? What did he ever do to you?"

She shut her mouth, refusing to look at him and staring at the empty fireplace with a stubborn rage.

"Is it because he's gay?" Kakashi snapped and she shut her eyes, shaking her head.

"No, no, of course not." Her anger subsided and he knew she was being truthful. She looked at him, her emotions suddenly wild as her rushed out, "I would never stop you from experiencing love, if that's what you want. But you can't get attached to that boy. He's not good for you."

"Why not?" Kakashi hissed out, feeling angry and confused. "What's going on, Tsunade?"

She closed her mouth, looking away again. So, he asked, "Is it because of that… Thing?"

Snapping her head to his, they stared each other down until she slowly found her words, "Wh... Have you seen it?"

Choosing his words carefully, he admitted for the first time out loud, "Kind of. Through dreams."

Taking in Kakashi's words, she finally said, "Then you know why I can't let you be involved."

The conversation ended. He didn't know how to respond but he kept to himself. He couldn't be angry at her. It was coming from the good of her heart. She wanted to protect him despite leaving him in the dark.

But when he went to sleep late that night after many long hours of reading and debating with himself on whether to sneak out or not, the dreams took him over and he couldn't resist it even if he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys really liked the first chapter so I hope this lived up to your expectations ;w; gyehh


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit later than I thought I'd finish it but I got sick and then Michael Bublé came out with a new album. Like, How am I supposed to focus with that playing!?

He was on the small, steel bridge leading out of town, not far at all from home.

The wind whistled by and he was able to focus on the person leaning up against the low rails that protected cars from falling over the edge. A bike was leaned up not far and Kakashi knew he was watching Iruka again even though he couldn't see his face. There was a moment of still with just the oncoming autumn wind ruffling his ponytail.

Iruka turned his head towards him and just as before Iruka looked straight at him. Dark eyes didn't waver and Kakashi realised he couldn't feel anything.

"Who are you?" Iruka asked. Wondering what Iruka saw, he looked down and saw nothing. After a moment of concentration, he noticed the faint edges where his fingers and arms were but he couldn't feel them. Was that what Iruka saw?

Before he could try and open his mouth, he felt the vicious presence and saw it bloom out of the shadows behind Iruka. It surged up taller and thinner than any human body only inches away from Iruka's back. Iruka's face blanched instantly out of pure, knowing fear. He slowly turned his head just enough to see the horror behind him.

Suddenly eyes rolled up into the back of his head, shoulders falling limp and sending him tumbling forward over the side of the bridge.

"Iruka!" His own cry ripped him awake in his own bed, gasping for air but managing to stumble out of bed.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade was calling out after him as he flew to the truck. He didn't stop for her even as she came to his door, gripping onto the window as she sternly said, "I can't protect you out there."

He didn't know what she meant by her cryptic and pleading words but he looked at her and asked, "Are you coming or not?"

A split decision later, they were both speeding down the road, heading out of town when they spotted the bridge. Her eyes widened as they both felt that heavy and damning feeling in the air that Kakashi had never felt in real life. It was less of a feeling and more of a gut reaction, their stomachs moving up into their throats and cutting into their breathing.

"It's here." Tsunade mumbled under her breath as he veered off the road just before the bridge. She was focused on a very specific point across the river that he couldn't see, eyes moving down slowly as if watching something moving. She warned sharply, "Kakashi."

But he was already out of the car. Stumbling down the bank in the dark, he was highly mindful of the approaching entity of danger and hurried to the shape in the low river that the moonlight wasn't reflecting against. He slapped through the inches of water in his untied sneakers and grabbed the lump by its shoulders as Tsunade called from behind him, "Watch out for his spine!"

Snapping up to the other side of the bank, he couldn't see anything but he knew it was there and saw it in his mind as clear as day. That spurred him on with a new, shivering fear.

He carefully dragged Iruka to their side of the bank and saw the blood coming out of Iruka's nose and down the side of his waterlogged head.

"Tsunade!" He called as he dragged Iruka up, very aware of the energy just across the water that felt like it was much closer than before.

She snapped out of her petrified state in the truck and quickly hurried over to the edge of the incline and helped Kakashi drag Iruka into the back of the truck. Her medical training kicked in and she was suddenly calm, examining their cargo thoroughly as Kakashi drove them back home. "He's alive."

Carrying Iruka's limp body into the home, they set him down on the couch even though he was dripping wet and Tsunade got to working on him properly.

"We don't have much time, Kakashi." She said quietly, turning Iruka over onto his side to pull off his drenched sweater. "Ten minutes max."

For a moment, he thought she meant about Iruka's condition but he remembered the figure and knew what she meant. It was slow but it didn't stop for anything.

"Go get me some towels and face cloths." She instructed as her hands went through her next set of checks, pinching pale fingers and studying pupils.

When Kakashi came back with her supplies, he helped her pat Iruka dry as she pressed a damp face cloth onto a gash she found on the side of his head. She was cold and unemotional about it all, something Kakashi had picked up over the years from her. She was head of emergent care for a reason.

Falls were dangerous especially above head height. The bridge was about twenty feet high when the water was up but tonight there had been barely any of it.

"His wrist is swelling." She said, standing and heading for the kitchen. "Probably a break. He'll need to have a CT anyway."

Following her through to the bathroom, he watched her look through the medicine cabinet. "Thank you, Tsunade."

She paused, taking in his words before sighing. "You could feel it too, right?"

At his nod, she looked him in the eyes and said, "You're an adult now. You can feel how dangerous that thing is. I can't tell you what to do. Just… Be careful."

"I will." Her hard exterior melted into that of the Tsunade he knew and she moved to give him a quick hug.

"Go keep an eye on him. I'll call Minato and Kushina, let them know we're taking him to the hospital."

He nodded slowly, hesitating before asking, "Why didn't we take him there in the first place?"

He found that she was already on the phone though, shushing him and waving at him to leave the room and check on their ward.

Iruka was connected to that thing. As he was pulling Iruka out of the river, the way it moved seemed to confirm Kakashi's suspicions. In the dark kitchen, he hesitated.

"How did you die?" Iruka raspy voice echoed down the hall. The question seemed to hang in the air, unanswered until Iruka said, "Oh… Sorry."

After a lapse in talking, Iruka continued, "Iruka Umino."

It was as if he was having a conversation with someone who couldn't be heard and Kakashi remembered that this wasn't the first time he heard one of these one-sided conversations. "Nice to meet you too."

Another long pause again and Kakashi couldn't resist. He slowly stepped closer through the kitchen to peek into the living room. On the couch, Iruka was sitting up with his back to Kakashi, watching the armchair on the opposite side of the room.

Kakashi couldn't see anyone there but he noticed the vague feeling of a person. It was barely anything, unnoticeable unless you were looking for it. It was like feeling eyes on the back of your neck but right it was coming from the chair across the room.

Iruka listened to whoever was sitting in that armchair, unseen to the human eye.

The creeping sensation up the back of his neck was a déja vu moment of watching Iruka speak to what he could only assume was a ghost in his living room. A ghost who was sitting in his dad's favourite chair.

Shoulders went up and Iruka snapped his head in a daze to where Kakashi was standing in the kitchen. "She's here."

That's when Kakashi felt it again. Turning around, he found the kitchen darker than before and he could feel that presence approaching. It wasn't in the kitchen yet but he felt that the backdoor wasn't going to hold it back.

"Kakashi." Iruka stood on shaking legs and Kakashi was already at his side.

"Tsunade!" He called, pulling the dazed Iruka down the hall with him, away from the impending danger.

She stepped into view where they had just come from, still on the phone as she said, "We'll meet you there. She's coming."

Hurrying out to the truck, Kakashi helped Iruka slide into the back seat of his pickup before he and Tsunade slammed their doors shut.

"We're going to Arashi," Tsunade explained as they drove down the street, a car pulling out of the Uzumaki's driveway in his rear-view mirror and following them. "We're going to the hospital there. The first gas station you see, pull over."

He nodded, glancing in the rear-view mirror to find Iruka had his head in his hands. He hoped Iruka was okay. But he wondered who Iruka had met in their living room.

Swerving into the gas station parking lot, he threw the pickup in park, got out and found that the car following them was just who he expected.

"Kakashi!" Minato had jumped out of the car and hurried toward the passenger's door that Kakashi opened.

"Minato…" Kakashi heard Iruka faintly say as he hurried to help Kushina struggle to get out of her seat.

"I'm fine!" Her hiss took him aback but he could tell that it was from panic. "Iruka!"

"He's okay." Minato affirmed as his frantic motions lessened, realising he left his wife in the car and backing up out of her path.

"Iruka, darling, you're okay." Kushina cooed on the verge of relieved tears as she pulled the teen to her chest from the backseat. "We didn't see you move and then Tsunade called."

A hand on Kakashi's shoulder turned him and Minato had a grateful smile verging on tears too. "Thank you, Kakashi."

"We're going to Arashi." Cold as ice, Tsunade was standing by the truck, staring the couple down as the air grew stiff around them. "He's still my patient. So, you can follow or you can go back home and we bring Iruka back when he's been discharged."

Caught in the crossfire, Kakashi watched the stare down that had started and stood still in hopes that it wouldn't cause any more chaos.

"Okay." A voice peeped up from the backseat and everyone looked over at the waterlogged Iruka who was blearily leaning against the driver's seat.

"We'll meet you there." Minato said, pulling back and rounding up his emotions with a strained smile.

Once everyone was in their cars and heading towards Arashi Hospital, Kakashi didn't ask Tsunade anything even though the puzzle pieces he was finding didn't fit together. What he did know was that whatever was following Iruka wouldn't reach them for a while and that they'd be safe.

The drive down the straight road was a long one especially without anything to distract them but eventually Tsunade asked Iruka to lean forward so she could check him over.

"Iruka. Since when?" She watched the other teen but Kakashi couldn't see Iruka's reaction.

He did hear when Iruka softly said, "Almost nine months."

"Were they planning on having a baby when they adopted you?" Her tone was accusatory.

Kakashi glanced in his rear-view mirror, seeing Iruka's expression go cold. "It's not like that."

"Then what is it?"

Iruka sat back, closing the conversation and Kakashi shot Tsunade a look that asked what was going on but he was completely ignored again.

The drive continued on until they finally got to the hospital, pulling into the parking lot after a very long hour.

"Thanks," Iruka quietly nodded as Kakashi helped him out of the back of the pickup. The other car pulled in next to them and Tsunade motioned for the emergency room entrance.

"Go on ahead. We'll be right there."

There was no backtalk or disagreeing with her and Kakashi walked Iruka's unsteady frame to the front doors where they were met with a group of nurses who were half asleep but jumped up at their entrance.

In a stiff chair, Kakashi watched as the nurses checked Iruka over, staring at the smartwatch on Iruka's wrist that lit up every now and then when his wrist turned up. He watched them pull and prod until they decided to schedule a scan and fix the cut on his head, noting that the number of steps had reset with the passing of midnight.

They eventually trickled out within a few minutes of even arriving, leaving them with a hospital gown and silence.

Iruka curled in on himself. The inclined stretcher kept him sitting up, hands laying in his lap and his eyes pressed shut tight. Quiet together, they sat and took in the momentary peace even though the nurses outside their curtained area were busy.

He wanted to ask Iruka about who she was, the thing that followed. The words weren't coming to him though. He wondered if it was because he was too afraid to ask. He knew though that it wasn't after him.

It was why Iruka went to the edge of town into the early hours of the day and barely slept. It was why Iruka barely slept. It was why Kakashi didn't need to be told that it was trying to kill Iruka.

"Thank you."

He looked up to Iruka straining a smile at him, looking worse for wear but alive.

"Any time," Kakashi replied and he knew that it meant more.

Iruka visibly softened but the smile stayed tight and awkward, unreal. He didn't know how much wanted to see the real Iruka underneath that fake, overly pleasant smile he gave everyone until then. With nothing to say that would help, he held back as the quiet moment settled in further.

He didn't want to be in the hospital again after this. He hoped Iruka would never end up back here again. If he could do anything to help, he knew that he would be compelled again in the future, unable to stop even if he didn't want to. It almost scared him how strongly he felt, an abrupt burning in his chest.

"Kakashi…" Iruka had his mouth open, deep in thought as if he was about to ask something. It was a glimpse at more but the flash of real emotion was gone just as quick.

Voices down the hall echoed to them. Iruka let it drop and smiled at him instead as the curtain was pulled back.

Kushina was immediately in the room, hugging Iruka softly this time and Kakashi stepped out of the intimate moment as he heard sniffling. On the other side, Minato was saying to a tired Tsunade, "Really, thank you."

She glanced at Kakashi as he came into view and sighed, patting Minato's shoulder, "Don't thank me just yet."

The tension and anger from before were gone and Kakashi watched Minato step passed the curtain before turning to Tsunade.

She scowled at him, "Don't look at me like that."

The drive back was even more quiet than before. It gave him time to age his thoughts and feelings.

Home was cold but it was still home. There was no presence he could feel and Tsunade seemed to notice nothing either as she unlocked the door and quickly went to her room. The light in the living room was still on. Iruka's soaked sweater was drying into the couch and he picked it up.

He liked Iruka. It had only been a few weeks since they'd even officially met each other though. He had to remind himself that he didn't know Iruka that well. There were so many things he didn't know or understand completely. The dark figure was obviously nothing good and the Uzumakis were aware of it, so was Tsunade.

It followed Iruka. He didn't know why but seemed like it had been accidental by that small interaction on the way to the hospital.

Kakashi thought back to the pipes in the school bursting and he knew that couldn't have been a mere coincidence. But he hadn't sensed anything out of the ordinary there, just Iruka and that raw emotion that pulled him in more.

Iruka wasn't an average teenager but a long shot, that was an easy conclusion. They were similar but on two very different fields. He knew his dreams were somehow connected to what Iruka could do and whatever was happening around him but he didn't think he'd ever know how.

In bed that night, he tried to connect the dots further but he could only wonder if his dreams were just the surface of it all, If Iruka could tap into a place far deeper. He wondered if anyone else knew about this other than Tsunade and the neighbours. Those chances seemed slim but not

Iruka wasn't at school the next day, neither was Minato according to a few rumour mills. Kakashi drove up to the spot that night where he expected Iruka to be and found nothing but a solid tree and grass. The next few days went by without any other sign. In between doing class work and picking up the chores that had piled up, he didn't stop going to that spot far out of town with no success and even backed out of the driveway feeling like a fool when no one answered the door.

He was almost going to start worrying until Thursday rolled around again and they crossed paths while walking into class.

Iruka blushed and stepped out of his way with his head turned away, holding his casted arm close and catching Kakashi off guard. Kakashi couldn't tell why it bothered him so much that Iruka wouldn't even address him properly. Maybe it was the way the side of his head had been shaved down in a patch where stitches were very clearly visible.

"Iru-"

"Ah! Kakashi! Iruka!" Gai grinned at them with a bright smile. "Class is about to start!"

With that opportunity, Iruka slipped right by them and into class.

"Kakashi, we haven't hung out in forever." Gai complained and Kakashi realised he wasn't wrong. He'd been so wrapped up in everything else.

"Sorry, Gai. Things have been a bit… Hectic." As they got ready for class, he took Gai up on his offer to hang out even though his eyes fell right back into the trap of the boy next door.

Classes went on and the group chatted during lunch about things he didn't care about. Instead, he found himself unconsciously searching the crowds to no avail.

The last class of the day droned on and he wasn't really paying attention to anything until he noticed Iruka's head was on his desk, lost in sleep. He was thankful that Iruka was getting some semblance of sleep until his body started to sink. Blinking back the seeming illusion, Iruka continued slowly sinking right through his desk. Even his casted arm was going straight through the wood and before anyone else could notice, Kakashi snapped his book shut loudly.

Everyone in the class jerked at the loud noise, including Iruka who sat up straight.

"Is there something you would like to say, Kakashi?" The teacher asked and he quickly came up with a response.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" And he was out the door before the teacher could ask, 'can you?'

Pizza with Gai had been a nice change of pace, bringing him back down to reality and making everything that had happened seem like a dream. After he dropped Gai off, he made his way out of town again. The long stretch of road was comforting and the music from his phone was a nice suppressor of his own thoughts. He didn't see any sign of Iruka and wondered if he'd found another route to walk along. All he saw was the blur of trees and the dark shapes within them, lulling him into an easy sleep when he was back home.

He found himself standing in a familiar kitchen. This time it wasn't the Uzumakis though to his curiosity, it was his own.

Standing there in the dark, he was uncertain as to why he was seeing this until Tsunade stepped into the room. The quietest he'd ever seen her, she moved to the back door and checked outside. Satisfied, she moved to the fridge and pushed it aside with strength he didn't expect from her. Where the fridge was, she pulled up a hatch in their floor and stepped down into the hole, leaving Kakashi in the dark.

Wanting to see what was in there and needing to know, he felt his view move slightly. He pressed into that feeling and could sense himself even more. Feeling the floor beneath him for the first time in this state, he propelled himself to the opening and looked down into the dark below just as a candle was lit.

A set of wooden stairs led down into a dirt-floor cellar. Tsunade was somewhere inside, shuffling things about. Moving closer, he stepped down onto the first step and felt the soft, worn wood under his soles. There was no sound and he continued down until he was able to see Tsunade at an old wooden table surrounded by shelves and shelves of books, hanging herbs and jars that were too dark to see into. It was like a witch's hut.

She pulled a handful of books in one certain spot to take another book that was hidden behind.

It looked ancient; old, ruffled and familiar.

Opening the plain cover, Tsunade bent over the table and scanned through it. Flip after flip, Kakashi watched and tried to read whatever words he could on the pages but whatever he could see wasn't in a language he knew or at least didn't make any sense.

He stepped down further. The stair creaked for the first time and Tsunade looked up, staring straight at him.

A moment of her tense stare fell away and she straightened up.

"Kakashi." Her words and assertive tone reminded him of when he was a kid looking for a midnight snack. "Go back."

Glancing down at himself to double check that he still was indeed invisible, he heeded her words and started back up the stairs without seeing her sigh in relief.

The next morning, he stared at her across the table with pursed lips and his own brand of annoying. She shifted uncomfortably, stuffing her face with cereal and he knew he had her.

"How long's it been there for?"

She jumped at his question and clutched her chest. "Don't scare me like that!"

There was silence again. Swallowing her pride, she faced him properly and sat up straight. "A long time."

"And what does it have to do with the Uzumakis?"

She took a breath, trying to find her words. "It's… Complicated."

He thought she was going to end it there and that he was going to have to pry but she was just finding what to say. "Well, as you can probably tell, their family is different. What they have isn't normal or even something that can be understood physically. It's more on a spiritual level."

That he could understand and had guessed already.

"Our family used to help theirs. Well, yours. A deal between your ancestors. But… That's why, after your father died, I stepped in. To make sure everything was kept normal and to take care of you."

He sat there in silence, processing. He felt a relief that it wasn't because he was going crazy but his lineage made him wonder. Did his dad have the same thing?

A hand touched his and he was brought back, blinking up at Tsunade.

"I can't tell you much else, that's up to them. But… You know I'm here for you if anything comes up, Kakashi."

With a faint and dazed smile, he squeezed her hand and she nodded at the fridge, behind which the secret basement was. "If you ever want to go down there, just go ahead. It's technically yours."

"Thank you."

"And about that Umino boy," She started and he withdrew inside himself. "I don't mind if you go over there."

His surprise must have been visible because she kept going sternly, "But I want you do be careful and not stay in one place too long if you're with him."

"Okay." He said and didn't know what else to say except go about the routine.

After hiding up to his room and processing everything that had happened, he stopped by Tsunade with a simple, "Thanks, Tsunade."

He didn't hear the words she threw at him on the way out, something about being safe but he was already in his truck. He was stupefied, amazed that Tsunade had told him anything at all and it felt so good to have her trust. It was an acknowledgment from her that he wasn't a kid anymore. It wasn't his birthday anymore but that was the best present he never would have expected.

For the first time in a long time, he was in class early and it even startled everyone else who trickled in after him. There were whispers about him being early but eventually they wrote him off as just Kakashi being as cool and unpredictable as always, turning their attention to the mundane and how the fair was in a week and a half which Kakashi guessed would be a mediocre re-enactment at best.

As predicted, Iruka ignored him for most of the class and the next few ones too but he couldn't ignore it when Kakashi joined him at lunchtime by the tree in the back.

"Hey," Kakashi started to Iruka's surprise and he stared up at Kakashi in shock, his mouth full of apple.

"Is that any good?" Kakashi asked nonchalantly as he sat down, Iruka trying his best to not choke as he swallowed hard.

"Kakashi!" He finally breathed freely.

Kakashi couldn't help but quip back, "Yes, Kakashi. That would be me."

"What… What are you doing here?" The question had Kakashi shrugging to Iruka's exasperation. "Didn't you see what happened last weekend?"

"Yup," Was Kakashi's casual response and the frustration in Iruka's brows built more before he sighed and fell back into the fallen leaves.

"Fine."

Kakashi didn't miss the smirk pulling at Iruka's lips. He wondered if Iruka had expected him to never want to associate with him again. It was nice to know Iruka wanted him around.

Classes started again and they were heading back together but not without the whole school suddenly noticing.

Once the final bell rang and everyone filed out, Kakashi found Iruka leaning up against his locker and he couldn't help but think that Iruka looked oddly cool with one wrist casted and his hair shaved away on one side. He was casually staring up at the ceiling, the brand-new pipes above.

"Hey," Kakashi startled Iruka back into his own thoughts and the younger teen stood straight, pushing hands into his pockets.

"Ahn, hi." Iruka said slowly after a moment. He looked like he was trying to hide an anxiousness and Kakashi couldn't tell why.

"Hey," Kakashi couldn't help but repeat, shifting the textbooks in his hands and Iruka noticed.

"Oh, sorry," Iruka quickly made space of Kakashi to step in, leaning up against the next locker as Kakashi thumbed his combination with his eyes flickering to Iruka. "Um… I wanted to say thanks again and also invite you to ah… Well, Minato and Kushina wanted me to invite you to this dinner that they're having next week, you and Tsunade."

He vaguely remembered the couple mentioning a welcoming party way back when summer had still been sitting heavy on their shoulders. It reminded him of how far away that all seemed, how excited he'd been at the prospect of getting to know his new neighbours.

"Sure," Kakashi said automatically.

The grin Iruka gave in return was dazzling and he watched as the teen pushed off down the hall. His cheeky grin was accompanied by a wink and Kakashi didn't know how to react. "Cool. Catch you later."

Thankfully, Iruka was already around the corner, leaving Kakashi with whatever the emotions in his chest were.

It left him blank for a while. He'd driven home and almost completely forgotten about the night before until he stepped into the kitchen. In the empty home, his mind strayed down to the secret basement door.

It was odd. The secret room felt oddly familiar.

After sitting in the living room and working up the courage, he checked that all the doors were locked and set about moving the fridge. After fighting it and forcing it to move aside, he almost collapsed against the counter in complete awe that Tsunade could even move that thing. She was definitely a lot stronger than she looked but he probably wasn't as surprised as he should have been at that.

Staring down at the floor, he noticed the subtle line across the floorboards and thought that it was no wonder he'd never noticed them before. The floor was paneled in such a way that three of the hardwood boards finished all in a vaguely close area.

So, when Kakashi leaned down and felt for the hidden latch that was disguised as a notch in the wood, the floor pulled up in that uneven pattern until he leaned it against the wall. At his feet, the dark hole called him in by its set of stairs. After taking a moment to turn on the flashlight on his phone, he took an uncertain and cautious step onto the smooth boards that led down.

He saw the cold outline of the table and chair, the walls of bookcases that held up all sorts of jars and books. After a few more steps down, he finally hit floor again and had to lean down to step inside. He almost smacked his head against a lantern that hung from the ceiling but steadied himself before he could bruise himself.

A box of matches sat just on table under it. He found the latch of the lamp before striking a match, waving out the flame as the burning wick lit up the small room. It was much smaller than he had initially thought. There were books on jar and jars upon books in a cramped chaos that he so badly wanted to organise. He couldn't tell how old anything was, it all seemed ancient but he could see traces in the film of dust. Some books had been pulled out recently and he slid one out at random. Carefully, he set the dust-covered tome on the table under the light.

He shivered at how his fingers felt grimy already from just touching a few things. Just like everything else, this book had no labels or titles and he wondered if he was the first person to come down here and want to organise this mess properly. Looking at the state of everything around him, he was oddly thrilled at the idea of making everything tidy and neat. Tsunade had said it was his, after all.

Recipes were in the first few books. Mundane and simple, they talked about homeopathic ways of healing the sick through aromatherapy and even acupuncture. They were fairly easy to comprehend with the diagrams and drawing aids other than some of the terrible writing the authors had. Then the next few journals talked about stories, diaries of events that Kakashi had never heard of. Most had been written by someone he'd never heard of, someone trying to chronicle interactions between another family. He had gotten through a few entries before turning to the next few books.

He didn't really know what he was looking for or if he was even looking for something. A handful of hours had passed before his shoulders and butt started aching from the wooden stool. Glancing over at the piles he'd categorized the tomes into, he noted that he'd gotten through a few shelves of them. He decided that this place could be put down to rest for the night. The light was turned out, door shut and fridge moved back into place.

Sitting in the kitchen with his mouth full of chicken, he wondered how many people had circulated through that basement. If many had, his ancestors definitely had other priorities than arranging. Maybe it was that he'd just been raised by Tsunade to be the order to her whirlwind.

He wondered if which one Iruka was, tiny or chaotic. Maybe he was something in between.

"Hm," He hummed to himself, not realising that he was already heading to the front door for his keys and sweater. He'd only just remembered another sweater that he had to deliver.

Iruka's dried and folded sweater was dropped next to him and he was off into the night once more. It wasn't particularly late but midnight was creeping up. If the tugging at his mind was right, he wouldn't be driving without reason.

Pulling up to the tree by the side of the road, he noticed there was no bike leaning up against the tree. He stepped out of the truck slowly and the person laying in the grass didn't move even as Kakashi sat down next to him.

It was quiet for a long time before Iruka abruptly sat up. He was wearing the same clothes as before, his hair still hanging loose as he looked Kakashi directly in the eyes.

With his expression mystified and sifting through his thoughts, Iruka tightened his grip around his knees as he asked, "Can you see her?"

Kakashi shook his head, watching Iruka's blank expression. "I can feel her though. Can you see her?"

There was a pause. "Yeah."

He sat back on his arms and watched the wind ruffle Iruka's hair. Track pants looked good on him.

"Kakashi," Iruka started, hesitating with his words and leaving Kakashi wondering for a moment. "Can you see her then?"

Confused, he didn't know what Iruka meant until brown eyes pointed to a place behind him. There was just the tree and the grass under the night sky though. He didn't see anything or anyone behind them with his eyes. He knew Iruka probably didn't mean it that way and he knew he wasn't referring to the dangerous shadow. Sitting up and turning to look at that area properly, he felt Iruka's eyes on him but tried to focus.

It was like looking through a window. At first, his sight was clear and unfiltered until he felt that nagging at his senses. There was something there, a person. He could only make out by the tree where their small and thin outline blurred the space around it.

"Kind of." He didn't want to take his eyes away, afraid of losing this sight forever but Iruka didn't speak.

When he finally dragged his gaze back, he found Iruka staring back. There was an astonishment and awe there that Kakashi didn't know how to respond to. Thankfully, Iruka looked away to the figure and Kakashi did the same. He easily found that focus again and caught onto it like a kite in the wind. It barely moved by the tree, as if leaning against it.

"She died here." Iruka whispered to him and they sat in a mutual awe, Kakashi for the newfound view and Iruka for the interesting person beside him.

Ghosts. Kakashi tried to wrap his head around the word but found it clunky and airy. Spirit sounded better, he decided as he sucked idly on the straw of his drink. Sitting outside the gas station that was just beyond town limits, he waited as Iruka paid and joined him. They both sat under the stars and the cold light of the gas station, slurping on drinks idly as if they had no other cares in the world.

A huff caught his attention and Kakashi glanced over, brow raised in question. Iruka was simply biting his straw through an amused smirk, shaking his head and keeping his eyes on the gas pumps as he said, "I just thought about a line from this one song: slushies at midnight are the keys to success."

"Does this taste like success?" Kakashi smirked back, enjoying the way Iruka started conversations and kept them going.

There was a moment of thought. "I don't know what that taste like but if this is success, that success is friendly fructose."

"Friendly fructose?"

"Yeah." Iruka shook his head at his own words, providing slowly, "Like… This is sugary beyond means but it feels good."

"So friendly means feeling good?" Kakashi prodded and Iruka sputtered interestingly.

"I mean, it could." There were implications there that were new. He didn't know if Iruka was mostly joking or not but he set the topic back down, choosing to stray away from that topic even though Iruka's cheeks were an inviting pink and his lips were very hard to not look at around that straw.

He may have dreamt about them that night and what it would feel like to touch them with Iruka's words as background noise.

For once, he wished his dreams were real.

Sitting at the kitchen table in his dreamy, wishful state, he barely noticed when Tsunade came down and ate right in front of him. It was long after she had started talking that he realised what she was saying was important.

She had been in fact not talking about his slightly sexual, gay fantasies but instead had mentioned a time.

"So, you'll be home alone for most of the day and even a bit of the night so… Just do whatever it is teenagers do on Saturdays." She was saying casually over her shoulder.

"Like drugs?" He didn't need to know the context to give her sass and her scoff was worth it.

"Yeah, yeah," She humored. "If you ever do drugs, I will have you arrested for impersonation."

And then she was out the door. The only clues that hinted to where she was going were the small but noticeable touches of makeup she usually never put on, the plunging neckline that he'd never been a fan of and the very faint smell of shea butter from her favourite hand cream which she coveted so much that she was too afraid of ever using it.

It was curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No cliffhanger this time but hope you guys liked! Thank you all for your amazing support, it really is so inspiring!  
> Thinking of making a playlist for this series o3o  
> New chapter next Wednesday (Midnight Tuesday)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does contain content that may be offensive to some viewers. Towards the end, there is blatant homophobia.  
> If you still wish to read but are weary, it lasts for a few lines before it's over. If you feel uncomfortable with any part, please feel free to skip ahead by about a fifteen or so paragraphs and then the scene should be back to a more manageable pace.  
> Just a heads up!

As the day went on, he wondered further where Tsunade had gone and why but didn’t want to text her and admit he hadn’t been listening even though it probably wouldn’t have surprised her. Instead, he sat out on the porch for a bit and decided to finally take a crack at the books Kushina had lent him. They started off with an amazing exposition of a small town and its closed community, writing on about certain families and how they were simple people. It kind of reminded him of Konoha and he was easily sucked in, forgetting almost completely about the rest of the world.

He didn’t think he’d been out there for long, his long legs kicked up on the railing and the book leading him on a story about a teenager who was very closeted but coming into his own sexuality. There were a few moments where he could suspend his criticism to be caught up in the whirlwind that the main character was going through of finding out the boy next door may have feelings for him. It was interesting to read about a guy going through the troubles of wanting to be open about his sexuality with someone but not wanting to be ostracized for it. Thankfully, Kakashi had never had the urge to express to the world that side of him. He was simply himself without any sexual connotations attached and other teenagers his age were satisfied with his quiet and chill demeanor.

Then the book started to get raunchy and he suddenly felt very out in the open. It was one thing to read a book about two guys secretly liking each other but it was another to read about voyeurism for the first time. He’d never read about that kind of stuff even though the internet was right at his fingertips. Maybe his imagination was much more vivid that he’d thought. Porn was one thing but imagining entire scenes in your mind was very intimate.

The lines in that scene were so raunchy too.

‘He wanted to believe the hand stroking vigorously was touching his own soft.’

What kind of line was that? What did ‘soft’ even mean? Was it supposed to be a metaphor?

His pragmatic mind fussed over the wording for hours on end and he concluded that it was supposed to be superfluous, coming from a writer who didn’t want to be explicit.

Busying himself with the basement again, he tried to ignore questions bubbling up inside that were very close to his own situation and how Iruka technically lived next door too.

He wouldn’t mind seeing Iruka touch himself.

He stamped that thought right down. No, nope, he wasn’t going to jeopardise the one friendship with the only other gay guy in town just because he was horny. Iruka was a good person, he was going through some crazy shit and he needed a friend, someone that Kakashi wanted to be.

His lips looked so soft though.

Maybe that was what the author meant by soft, not genitalia but lips.

Highly unlikely, really stupid to even suggest that.

Frustrated with himself, he snapped the journal in front of him shut and instantly regretted it when dust shot out into his eyes.

Many tearful and irritated minutes later, he was back down in the basement with not even the slightest bit of stirring in his jeans this time. Begrudgingly reaching for another pack of thick papers, he flipped them open to a pleasant and astounding surprise. It completely switched his gears.

He unfolded the rest of the parchment until it stretched out into a giant page that hung off the other side of the table. At the top, there were two names that he didn’t recognize but lines branched out from them and down into more names that branched down into a giant family tree.

There were so many names he didn’t recognize and most had the years they lived, people who had died long before him. The lines trickled off to the sides until the bottom of the page. The longest one ended towards the right, near the bottom. His mother and his father’s names were the mostly clear on the page and the spot right under them where his name would’ve been was blank except for the line leading up to it.

He never knew his mom. Dad had said that she had been amazing and that was pretty much it which was a lot for a quiet man to say. He’d loved his dad a lot but sometimes he wished he’d known her more. The only memories he had left of her was the smell of clean laundry and an old song playing in the background as she folded.

Deep down, Kakashi knew that it wasn’t just the disorder that got to his dad.

It felt silly that tears were building up in his eyes. Blinking them away, he looked around the room to find something to write with. A quill and inkwell he found had probably written most of these names down but it had long dried out and he didn’t know if he should just find something else or go out and find ink. It didn’t seem right to just use any old pen or marker.

He finally texted Tsunade and asked her if they had any at home anywhere. She didn’t respond and he eventually strayed back to the kitchen. The day was mostly gone by now. The sun shone brightly through the windows with a deep yellow hue. Pushing back the fridge sent dust hovering into the sunlight.

It was quiet when he was all by himself. He was about to step into the living room but paused. The spirit from the night before was heavy in his mind, the harmless one by the tree watching him and Iruka. He hadn’t ever noticed it before. How many others hadn’t he?

Standing in the doorframe, the armchair on the opposite side of the door looked no different than before but it felt different. Reaching into himself, he pulled taught on the string of focus and he reigned it in slowly. As if turning the focus on a lens, the world around him slowly blurred.

But he didn’t find anything. There was nothing there. He felt that nervous ball unfurl and he let his hold on that vision fall with his hopes. He didn’t know why he felt so disappointed.

The night outside felt colder than other nights, chills running down his spine as he pulled his sweater tighter and curled his hands together. As the house fell away behind him, he turned onto the main road and headed to where his heart was calling.

Iruka had just barely gotten to Hagoromo's statue when Kakashi picked him up.

“Oohh,” Iruka shivered and rubbed his hands together. “It’s so cold but it smells so good.”

“It does.” Kakashi grinned. “Kinda like fall, right?”

“Exactly.” Iruka’s smile was a breath of fresh air.

They sat on chilly grass as the sun was tipping under the treeline. Even under the beanie he was wearing, Iruka’s hair and eyes seemed to glow amber and Kakashi tried to pretend he hadn’t been staring when Iruka looked over at him.

“It’s going to get a lot colder.” He said casually, followed by an ominous, “The baby is supposed to be here in a week or so.”

Iruka continued that train of thought in his head and Kakashi changed the subject. “Let’s go for a drive.”

They headed for the truck and Kakashi fixated on the spot next to the tree from the night before and, as clear as day, a blurry figure was there but this time it was sitting against it.

Handing Iruka his phone, they scanned through his songs and drove up to the next town over.

“Really?” An old, sappy ballad started playing and Iruka gave him a look that spoke volumes of teasing. “I can’t believe you have this one.”

“I’m a man of culture.”

Iruka barked a laugh and sarcastically said, “Oh, yes, so cultured.”

That left a smile on both their faces. They drove deep into the next town over and only started driving back after stopping for snacks at the only gas station they could find in miles.

Music blasting on the way back, they jammed out to cheesy music from the eighties and sang along to lyrics that everyone knew. They both sucked at singing and sometimes Iruka didn’t know the words and grinned at him behind his fist when Kakashi did.

High on laughter and sugar, Kakashi pulled into his own driveway automatically.

“Guess I’m living at your place now.” Iruka commented sassily as they pulled in.

“Oh, sorry,” Kakashi had abruptly stopped the truck to both their surprise but Iruka stopped him with a hand to his shoulder.

“It’s fine, as long as you don’t mind me over for a bit.”

If he had been thinking clearly, he would’ve thought it wasn’t the best idea but instead he shrugged. “I’ll drive you back when you want to leave.”

He didn’t seem the small smile on Iruka’s lips or the nod as he drove them further into the drive.

He didn’t think twice about stepping inside but he did when Iruka stepped in behind him, eyes moving over the entire entrance. Self conscious was one of the things he felt. Maybe it was unclean, he should have picked things up before he left.

“Where’s your bathroom?” Iruka simply asked as they toed off their shoes and he directed Iruka down the hall, past Tsunade’s room and the small office. “Thanks.”

Iruka closed the door behind him and Kakashi continued down the hall to the kitchen, wondering if he should make coffee or something. Busying himself with getting the fireplace going, he came back to Iruka slowly entering the kitchen.

“Want something warm?” Kakashi politely asked and Iruka grinned at the proposal.

Soon enough, he was making them both drinks. He took his time and turned back to find Iruka sitting by the fire with his hands out for its warmth.

“Have you ever roasted marshmallows on this thing?” Iruka asked as he was handed a mug.

Trying to recall any time like that, Kakashi sat down next to him and wondered aloud, “I don’t think so.”

Iruka hummed thoughtfully back and they calmed down into a silence as the fire crackled and got hotter. It warmed them slowly and Kakashi realised slowly that this setting was like one from a cheesy romance. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like this was a set up for something romantic to happen and he hadn’t meant it to be that way at the start.

Eyes on the fire, Iruka’s body was slightly turned his way and he found that they were sitting closer than they ever had, mere inches apart. It would’ve been a lie to say he didn’t want to lean in and be closer. As much as it was exciting to be near someone in this way, it was comfortable and serene. It felt good.

With a calm warming over him, he noticed how he had slouched forward, looking up to see Iruka turning his head up to him.

Lips just barely open, he licked them and Kakashi watched the motion.

“Ka-” Iruka’s words were cut short when the sound of people stumbling through the front door echoed to them. Feeling as though he’d been caught in the act, Kakashi stood and hurried to the front door with Iruka just behind him.

At the door, Tsunade and another man were holding back chuckles and laughter as they stumbled through the entrance. In a state of confusion and shock, Kakashi watched Tsunade pretend to struggle with a suitcase and sway on in her stance. The other man was someone that looked eerily familiar.

“Kakashi!” But this person apparently knew him. “Damn, you’ve gotten tall.”

“He’s such a weed.” Tsunade pouted as they both came into the light. “He just keeps growing and growing like a giant.”

The older man chuckled and Kakashi noticed that he was probably around Tsunade’s age. His white hair rung a bell.

“Nice to see you again, kid. You probably don’t remember me but I’m an old friend of your aunty.” That much was true.

“I’m not his aunt.” Tsunade patted Kakashi’s shoulder as she passed and went for the cupboard for glasses. “The last time you saw Jiraiya was probably years and years ago.”

That name did click in his head though. He did remember him faintly from after his dad passed, an older man who used to come over once in a while. One night, he’d quietly listened from the stairs as Tsunade wept at the kitchen table with Jiraiya rubbing her back.

It must have shown on his face because Jiraiya patted his shoulder too with a warm smile and a wink.

“Nice to see you.” Kakashi intoned and the two settled at the kitchen table.

Iruka had lingered back in the living room, his face flushed and trying his best to be invisible.

“Ah, Iruka.” Tsunade finally noticed. It froze them both but her question put them at ease, “How’s the wrist?”

“I think it’s doing good?”

She motioned him over and he flushed pink as she took his casted wrist. It was sweet to see Tsunade fawning over Iruka in a semi-motherly way that Kakashi was familiar with. With a pat on his plaster, Tsunade asked quietly with a suddenly serious expression, “How are you?”

It threw them both off guard but Jiraiya simply watched keenly from across the table.

Hesitating in confusion, Iruka held his own fingers and stumbled out, “Um, I’m… Good. Better.”

Tsunade’s eyes didn’t leave his and Kakashi felt awkward just by proxy even though there was nothing menacing to that stare. It was a stare meant to read with but coming from her it felt piercing and Kakashi swooped in.

“Mah, I was just about to drive Iruka back home.” Iruka’s relief was palpable.

“Ah, well, it was good to see you.” Tsunade said and Kakashi was already at the door to get them going out to the truck. But he only noticed after that Iruka was still held back.

He only briefly heard from a deeper voice, “Nice to see you again, Iruka.”

The other teen nodded to Jiraiya as he joined Kakashi at the door, slipping on his boots before giving the other two one last glance.

On the way back, he didn’t ask Iruka any questions. Instead, Iruka rubbed his neck and confessed as they turned into the other driveway, “He’s very close with Minato, used to be his mentor.”

He saw the glance towards the ground and he knew Iruka wasn’t telling him the full truth but he could guess that it had to with that abnormal part of his life. It was fascinating that there had been this whole other layer of life right under his nose. With every new turn, he wondered who knew what.

They pulled up to the house a moment later and he watched Iruka slowly unbuckle. There was another struggle behind those shoulders that gave away. He wondered if it had to do with the same feeling that called him to follow Iruka inside.

But he didn’t ask and neither did Iruka. There was only a cheeky grin and a wave that quelled the feeling for now.

“See ya.” Iruka said as he pressed his door shut and Kakashi watched his quick walk up to the front door. Looking back to back out of the long drive, he didn’t see the pause in the doorway and the soft smile that followed was too far away to see by the time he got to the road.

When he got back, Tsunade and Jiraiya were talking low at the table with their head close but untouching. They paused as they heard the front door closed and he went up to his room to give them privacy. He didn’t know what kind of relationship they had but he wanted to give them space.

In the cozy space of his room, he changed and dropped onto his bed with the feeling that the day had passed by so slowly and then all at once it was gone. By the looks of it, Tsunade had invited Jiraiya in. He wondered if Minato knew anything at all about it and what would happen if they met again, if they were on good terms or bad.

There was so much to wonder and think about. He didn’t want to think about anything at all anymore, the stress he could feel emanating from everyone or the fear. He just wanted everyone to be happy. Maybe that was his downfall. Maybe he had to just try and make himself happy first but he didn’t know what that entailed.

Like the tide pulling back into the sea, his mind went right back to the one person who kept reeling him in.

Sitting up, he found the softcover he’d discarded earlier that day and lost himself in the cheesy, sappy story that was Icha Icha.

Having read that before bed, he would have expected to dream of cute guys and their butts.

The world was not so kind though and it dropped him face-first into dark, cold cluster of roots. Standing from the low-hanging mist on the forest floor, the forest around him was eerily quiet. There were no birds, no shifting of leaves. It was just quiet enough for him to hear this own blood in his ears.

The woods around him seemed to go on forever. Every direction was tree after dying tree and he couldn’t see any other sign of life until his scanning led him to a point between the trunks. Blood ringing louder, the wall of noise around him grew as his focus pulled further towards that spot until he could see her. She was standing between the trees, tall and too thin to be human. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even look away and she started moving towards him with a fear that had his heart beating so fast, clenching in his chest in growing terror.

And then he gasped awake, drenched in sweat and trembling in the safety of his own room. Even through his panic, the dark green walls enveloped him in familiarity and he was back. With a trembling sigh and equally shaky hands, he ran them over his face.

Handfuls of warm water to his face and hot drink later, he was curled up into the couch in his usual spot. The house was empty and the fire had gone out. He hadn’t touched his phone, still shook from his dream. It seemed pretty late in the day.

He kept telling himself it was just a dream, fingers distantly brushing the edge of the couch as if to physically conjure up the comforting memories that were stored inside. The fabric felt like a cold winter night by the fire with a book, copying the tall man in the armchair opposite him who pretended not to notice.

It had been just a dream, was the soothing thought.

Finally getting dressed and stepping back into himself, Kakashi stepped outside into the warm midday sun and started driving without a direction. It was automatic to head to the Uzumakis now. He had only just knocked on the door when he realised where he was.

“Kakashi,” A surprised Kushina greeted him, her warm smile only barely touching him. “Looks like the whole gang's here.”

She waved him in and he found her husband with their two guests.

“Finally up, brat?” Tsunade was warmer despite her sass. “Would’ve woken you up but you were sleeping so peacefully.”

He was able to only fake a smile at her which may have tipped her off to his unsettled state but he quickly looked at Kushina. “Is Iruka home?”

“Sure, he’s upstairs,” She pointed out and he was already stepping up despite the exchange of glances he left behind.

Turning to the room to the right, he saw the door was wide open. Inside, Iruka was curled up on the alcove of the window with a book in his lap. He had been studying it intently, only looking up when Kakashi came close.

“Hey!” Iruka almost gasped, snapping the book shut quickly but his movements to put it away slowed when he got a better look. His hands stilled and head tilted to the side. Iruka’s voice and his entire being was like the sun. “You okay?”

Kakashi found his best smile and faked with more ease, “Yeah, sorry to interrupt.”

Glancing down at the book, Iruka brushed his nose in embarrassment. “No, don’t worry. I wasn’t getting anywhere really.”

With a motion to the space beside him, Iruka scooted to make space and Kakashi took the offer as he shut the door behind him. The flustered hurry to hide the book was gone and Kakashi caught a glimpse of very old and weathered binding as Iruka pushed it further in to make room.

The shaking had stopped and he was able to relax further as he slouched against the window frame. Across from him, Iruka watched him with curiosity and a hint of worry. Though Kakashi’s focus was on studying Iruka’s loose jogging pants and white shirt, he could feel Iruka watching him back and he looked up when Iruka asked quietly, “What’s up?”

Eyes locked, Kakashi felt like his chest was being slowly extricated open and he couldn’t help but mumble, “Just a bad dream.”

There was a hazy understanding with Iruka’s nod, studying Kakashi still. He realised he didn’t mind Iruka’s eyes on him.

“They can be really bad.” Iruka empathised and Kakashi knew that Iruka was saying that from experience in more ways than one. He wanted to ask about them, find out everything he could about the person in front of him and Iruka seemed to read his mind. Biting down on his lip, Iruka seemed to be unravelling a thread inside himself slowly. “Sometimes I dream about my parents, the really dark stuff.”

There was a vulnerability to Iruka’s words and he took it all in as that fear of opening up turned into a slow relief. “Feels like the whole world is crumbling around you and then you wake up and it’s still there for a bit, you know?”

Kakashi nodded, softly admitting, “I used to dream of my dad a lot too. Hurts even more in dreams because it feels like they’re right there in front of you like they never even left.”

“Yeah.”

The common thread between them felt even tighter and Kakashi didn’t know whether to thank Iruka for the moment or…

“Um,” Iruka looked over and patted the book beside him, looking up at Kakashi. “Present from Jiraiya. Want to see?”

The change of pace brought him back down and Kakashi nodded, scooting over when Iruka moved. With their backs to the window, they held the book between them and slowly studied the pages in front of them. Worn, the writing was barely visible but it was in another language Kakashi didn’t understand. It was in the same alphabet but it felt like he was trying to read a children’s encyclopedia without knowing how to read. There were drawings and sketches of different objects and symbols every now and then but it didn’t really make any sense.

“What’s it say?” He asked quietly.

“No idea.” Iruka made a mystified face.

“Oh, cool.” Kakashi replied plainly and they stared at the pages longer before Iruka sighed and let it fall onto their legs.

“Like… It’s supposed to be like this guide to help with controlling…” There was a pause before Iruka said slowly, “Energies.”

Kakashi hummed. He had a pretty solid idea what was meant by ‘energies’.

“So, is this a must kind of thing or…?” He trailed off in his unsure words and Iruka looked just as troubled, inches away from Kakashi’s face.

“I… I don’t know.” There was a frustrated blow at his bangs. “He just kind of gave it to me and said it might be important.”

They stared at each other until Kakashi said stiffly, “Oh, goody.”

And then they broke out into laughter.

“You’ll figure it out,” Kakashi assured later and this time didn’t miss the soft smile and pink cheeks.

“Hope so... “He watched Iruka’s crooked smile turn down again as he pulled the book back up between them. “There’s apparently a few things in here that I can already do so… If I can find one and then maybe decipher it from there…”

“Well, if you ever want a helping hand, let me know.” Kakashi said and the offer seemed to hit a chord.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t know the extent of what Iruka could do, let alone how much control he had. It was interesting to explore the possibilities and how Iruka could even accomplish anything. It seemed intertwined with emotion or state of consciousness, looking back at everything he’d seen so far like the lights shattering and the pipes breaking. It couldn’t all be violent.

The sun was starting to set when Kakashi heard Tsunade and the others getting louder downstairs. They took that as their cue to head downstairs.

“Perfect timing.” Tsunade smiled as she slipped into her shoes. “You’ve got a car and I don’t.”

Kakashi gave Iruka a helpless look as Tsunade hinted heavily at their leaving but the other teen just smirked, “See you tomorrow.”

Looking through the arches of the living room to find papers scattered around and different glasses and books. Minato was pouring over others as Kushina was seeing Tsunade out. Jiraiya was reading with the same intensity. Iruka seemed to fidget on the stairs watching them work but tried to give a wave as they started out the door.

“Remember, Thursday night!” Kushina called out as they headed to the truck.

As he backed out, he asked, “So, walked there, huh?”

“Hm?” Tsunade shrugged. “Good for the bones.”

After shifting into drive on the road, he started down the street with a question nagging at his mind.

“So… You’re okay with them now?”

Tsunade’s sharp eyes didn’t look at him. Instead she answered tightly, “Maybe.”

“Why’s that?” He poked.

She gritted her teeth and busied herself with her nails. “Well, I was reminded of a few things. Other things were brought to light.”

“About the thing following Iruka or the family?”

There was a quiet as he slowly turned into their driveway.

“A bit of both.”

And he saw an opportunity to ask what had been nagging at his mind for a while, a piece that didn’t make sense.

“So, why is it following Iruka?” He threw it into park at the end of the drive.

Tsunade looked over at him in surprise, a reaction that he didn’t suspect. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No,” He said slowly.

With her hand still on the seatbelt, she thought for a moment and explained, “Well, it wasn’t supposed to be bound to Iruka.”

They didn’t move from the car until Tsunade unbuckled. “It was supposed to be following Kushina.”

She got out of the truck and he scrambled to follow her, two steps behind her as she unlocked the door and he asked, “So… Kushina and Minato… they bound it to him?”

“That’s what I thought too.”

“So, then who did?”

Looking back up at Kakashi, Tsunade softened, opened the door and threw over her shoulder as she went in, “Iruka did.”

And then Tsunade’s whole demeanor made sense. The anger and frustration had all been because she’d had the same initial thought he had: being forced into having a threat constantly behind you by the people who were supposed to protect you. But that wasn't it at all.

He let out a scoff, thinking that it was all to likely of a thing for Iruka to do.

In bed that night, he wearily climbed back into bed with his mind full of thoughts. He ignored the creeping feeling that he awoke to in the same bed. He chose instead to focus on a warm smile and charming laugh.

That was probably what triggered the sequence that followed.

In the middle of the night, after falling into a deep sleep, he found himself standing above his bed, looking down on himself.

It was like watching a video of himself on loop, breathing in and out slowly oblivious to the rest of the world. In a haze, he turned and moved to the door. Instead of turning the knob, his hand went right through it and his form slowly followed until he was on the other side. Staring down at where his body should have been, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d seen something similar before. The hall slowly became clearer and he felt like he was no longer in a fog, that he was actually standing in the hall with his bare feet touching hardwood.

His thoughts gained speed and he knew where he remembered that from. It was like when he’d seen Iruka go through his desk in class.

There was a slow ache in his chest, thinking of the other teen but it was replaced with jarring shock when the world flexed around him.

As if being thrown through a wall, he stumbled onto grass. Steadying himself from the whirlwind, he looked up from his hands to see that he was out on the yard of the house next door. The curtains were drawn shut and the only visible light came from a small lamp on the second floor, Iruka’s room. As clear as if he were really there, he walked up the front steps and went straight through the front door like he was dunking his head in water. On the other side, the halls were dark except for the flickering of firelight from the living room.

It called him forward and he was met with the sight of Minato passed out in an armchair, papers strewn on his lap. Everything seemed to be even more of a mess than before but what caught his attention was the flickering of blue light coming from Jiraiya’s palm. He couldn’t see much else with the man’s back to him but Kakashi heard his voice mutter, “Kakashi.”

The blue static in his palm went out with a flick of the wrist and Kakashi froze as Jiraiya turned to him, staring him right in the eye and seeing him completely unlike any other time he’d been out of his body.

With a deliberately grave tone, Jiraiya warned after a moment, “Be careful with that.”

“Why’s that?” He heard himself saying.

Eyes scanned him as if they were studying an anomaly. “Some don’t come back.”

He felt himself shrink back, his confidence reeling back in as the world grew unfocused again. Jiraiya sighed and went back to the pages in front of him and Kakashi looked down to see an image of his body disappear. With the other man believe he was gone, he stood there and didn’t know what to do with himself. Or how to get back into his own body.

The stairs reminded him of his original goal.

Stepping up them as if he weighed nothing at all, Kakashi saw the light from Iruka’s room under the crack of his door and followed it. On the other side, he found Iruka sprawled on his bed with paper, a pen and the guide. He seemed to be squinting as if he were an old man at the words. He was going back and forth between taking notes and staring intently.

It was a comfort he didn’t know he needed and he moved further into the room, sitting on in the window cubby.

His worries seemed so far away now. Sitting there, he couldn’t help but be entranced by watching Iruka think and bite his lip. It felt like this was something rare to see, a memory to be taken in and kept safe. It was oddly bittersweet in some ways, his chest aching once more.

And then Iruka sat up suddenly. At first, he sat off the edge of the other side and scanned the room. Kakashi didn’t know what had caught his attention until dark eyes fell on him.

One knee on the bed, Iruka was half turned to him and he knew Iruka saw him truly.

There was a disbelieving scoff, “Should’ve known.”

Then he woke up, staring up at the wooden boards above.

That was new.

The Monday sun was rising and he slowly got dressed. Tsunade had made them toast and she was out the door right after he came down.

Going to school again felt like he was dressing up in a costume. He was putting on the suit of a normal teenager but he felt off kilter on the inside. He didn’t feel right until he found the source of his troubles.

Hair half up, Iruka was thumbing through pages of handwritten notes at his usual desk. He looked his usual tired and casted self but Kakashi could sense a bubbling excitement in him, a renewed vigour and he wondered if Iruka had cracked the language of the guide. It was awe inspiring.

Lunch eventually rolled around and Gai swept him away with the rest of the group that he had almost forgot existed.

Tsume was complaining about a grade and Kabuto was explaining something that probably wasn’t safe for school. It all felt too weird to be around them.

Especially when he heard a comment that went straight to his gut.

“I heard he’s gay.”

It was pure horror. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe and think at all. He wanted to crawl out of his own skin until someone snapped, “I fucking knew it.”

He chanced a look to see that they weren’t even remotely looking at him and he didn’t know what felt worse: the thought of them talking about him or the reality that was unfolding around him as they glared out the window towards a head that was oblivious to it all.

There was an edge in the air. The teacher had put on a movie as their last class and had left to do some photocopying or more likely to take an extra break.

And then he heard the whispers. It had been a long time since he’d felt that chill of unease when around his classmates. There was the fear of being the odd man out, alone and the weird one people made fun of. This was a million times worse though.

But they weren’t directed at him.

It might have been the way Iruka had reacted to the words thrown at him last Friday. It might have been something brewing that Kakashi hadn’t noticed until that day. And the worst part of all of it was that it was coming from his own friends, the group of people he associated with.

“Fucking disgusting.” Genma huffed under his breath.

Tsume was nodding right along with him, “Takes a real narcissist to want someone with the same parts.”

A few others were listening as the movie in class kept playing but no one in the vicinity of the dark class seemed to object. Not even Iruka said anything even though he was a few feet away but Kakashi could tell his hackles were coming up. He knew how Iruka felt but being in that town for so long taught him how to suppress himself.

“It’s a disease.” Someone else piped up. “They teach it to you when you’re young.”

He was starting to feel just as pissed as Iruka was and just as helpless, just as trapped.

“Then they want to have kids so they can teach them how to be gay too.”

He hated this. He wanted out.

“It’s just an excuse to touch little boys.”

That was the breaking point.

A chair screeched back and fell. Kakashi watched Iruka breathe deeply at his desk for a few seconds before he stormed out. Then the giggling started and the scoffs.

Kakashi couldn’t just standby. With just as much pent up anger, he stood and sent the chair flying back and smack into the desk behind him, startling the person behind him and the rest of the class into shock. It was so quiet that the voices of the old box television felt like they were shouting and the buzzing of the screen was practically an embodiment of the panicked bees in his chest.

His anger outweighed the fear in that anxious moment. Even though all eyes were on him, he stared at the group just behind Iruka’s desk. Genma and Tsume froze, never having seen Kakashi ever react like that in his life and they stared at each other in the dark, outlined by the light of the moving pictures.

As if on autopilot, Kakashi heard himself say with the darkest glare in his entire soul, “If the scum of the earth have stopped spewing garbage.”

The whole class stared at him in shock and he saw Gai’s face of recognition out of the corner of his eye but no one could stop the years of pent up anger that were boiling up. “Leave that ignorance up the ass you came out of.”

Kakashi felt himself trembling from his very core but he slowly stalked out of class. When he was just out of sight, that anger fell away to fear. Seeing Iruka up ahead, he felt the adrenaline in his hands and legs. What did he just do?

Without thinking anything else, he took off in a wild sprint down the hall and hooked Iruka’s neck into his arm.

“Ah!” Was Iruka’s surprised squeak but when he saw it was Kakashi, he blushed terribly and muttered out, “Shit, you scared me.”

“Come on,” He ignored the nagging fear from what he’d just done and dragged them out of the school quickly. Looking back at the brick building he’d know for the last few years, Kakashi was both disappointed and relieved to see nobody following them.

He wondered why he kind of wanted to see Gai’s face. Maybe it was to see any spark of acceptance but he pushed away the feeling when an arm snaked to his back. Iruka was looking up at him, studying him with that kind of acceptance and understanding he didn’t know he needed before then.

He hugged the other teen close, pressing his cheek to Iruka’s soft hair and savouring everything Iruka had to give.

“So Gai didn’t know?” Iruka asked after they’d driven to their regular spot almost an hour from town.

“No.” He smiled a little, knowing how dense his best friend could be. Or… Ex-best friend now. “I guess it’s because they grew up with me and I don’t really come off that way.”

There was a nod of acknowledgement and Kakashi quickly changed the topic to something easier to talk about.

“So, it’s bound to you.” Much easier.

Air growing sharp, he watched Iruka clam up a little but he could tell Iruka was trying to push that down.

“Tsunade told me a few things.” He provided and Iruka nodded. “What is it though?”

Struggling with himself, Iruka pursed his lips. “It’s…”

After another struggle, Iruka found the right words to say and stared right back at Kakashi, quipping, “Well, it’s not like you haven’t seen it.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t exactly answer my question, Iruka.”

“Well, what does it look like to you?” Iruka argued back but Kakashi just shrugged. “Do you think it might look like a spirit?”

“It’s a spirit?”

Iruka pursed his lips again. “Well, kinda I guess.”

“And it’s bound to you.” Iruka nodded sharply through Kakashi’s statements. “Does it like, want your soul?”

“Pff, more like the opposite.”

“So, it wants your body. Kinky.”

Iruka sputtered for a minute and smacked Kakashi’s chuckling shoulder. “She does!”

They laughed a little more until Kakashi prodded further. “Just your body or does it want what your… Energies?”

The crickets chirped loudly between them and Iruka nodded slowly, watching Kakashi’s face carefully but he didn’t know how to even react to that, the admission that Iruka could do things that were out of the ordinary.

“But I’m not her end goal” They were quiet together as Iruka said softly, “It’s the baby.”

It was quiet again. The trees rustled in the distance and Kakashi finally said, “So, the baby will be able to do a lot more than breaking lights and pipes?”

Iruka looked like he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “A lot more.”

With a hum, Kakashi fell back into the cold grass.

“Guess we’ll just have to keep you extra safe then.” He finally said and he could see Iruka’s faint blush from his angle.

“Thank you, Kakashi.”

Long after midnight, they finally drove back home. Kakashi put the car in park and they climbed down into the cold night, walking towards the dark home that was a beacon in the clearing of trees and bushes. It looked like the grass had been cut recently and they made their way to the back door. Iruka’s bike was still leaning against the side of the house when they passed by into the house.

There seemed to be no one else home and they found themselves munching on snacks in the kitchen.

Eventually, talk about movies turned into talk about childhood favourites. There was won Kakashi remembered that was about dogs and he’d been absolutely in love with it, raging out cute dogs for most of his life.

“There was this one episode where the dogs and humans could talk and I wanted so bad to get a dog that I almost stole someone else’s,” He reminisced.

Almost spitting out his drink, Iruka chuckled, “Wait, what?”

“Almost.” Kakashi insisted. “Like, there was a dog that used to hang around the elementary and I thought it was a lost dog so I put it in my backpack.”

Iruka winced. “Lemme guess, Tsunade found out.”

“Before I even walked through the door. She took one look at the collar and chucked me into the car. Was crying the entire time because I knew I messed up. Felt so bad.”

“Oh my god,” Iruka wheezed through suppressed chuckles.

“Yeah, thankfully the owners were really nice about it.” The memory was still so strong in his mind and the rest of it faded out into one that was too painful to remember, the rest of it blocked from his mind.

“How did the owners react?”

The question hung in the air and Iruka caught a hint of the brewing pain in the way Kakashi smiled. “They were nice.”

He left it at that but they could both sense that the story didn’t end there and he packed it away in his mind again.

“I should get going.” He finally said and Iruka nodded softly, following Kakashi out to the truck and crossing his arms on the open window as Kakashi slowly clicked in his seatbelt.

“Kakashi,” His attention was on Iruka right away, hand on the ignition. Eye dark and thoughtful, Iruka finally looked up at him. “I’m sorry about today.”

He had almost forgotten about that.

With a smirk, he started the truck. “Don’t worry about it.”

As Iruka stepped back, he started it up and backed out towards home. And he started thinking about what happened. The eyes that were staring up at him in surprise and almost fear. The words that were said that made him so angry in the first place and the people who were behind them. They were people that he’d known for his entire life, people who he hoped were better than that.

He had been wrong to hope.

But they were all he knew, all he grew up with. They were supposed to be his friends, the only people in his small grade who actually like hanging out with him.

And then there was Gai.

By the time he parked, he was shaking.

Gai was the best friend he’d ever had.

The front door was pushed open and he pressed it closed behind him, tears building in his eyes.

He thoroughly cared about Gai more than anybody else he’d grown up with and he couldn’t get Gai’s petrified stare out of his mind, the one person who he wanted desperately to keep.

The world was blurry but he walked to the living room on pure automation, his sweater dropping down to the ground and toeing off his shoes as he went. Sitting down stiffly in his spot, he fought frantically to keep control of the grief and horrible agony bubbling out.

Gai could be stupid and frustrating and weird but he was such an inherently good person to be around, a shining face of positivity no matter what and now that was gone.

Curling in on himself, he wished that he didn’t care and wished that he couldn’t feel anything as tears poured out onto his pants. The sobs bubbled up and he couldn’t stop them anymore. His whole body was breaking, crumbling around him and he howled into the couch.

Tsunade was sitting out on the porch, listening to everything and her heart broke into a million pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a little late by a few days!


	5. Chapter 5

The house had gone quiet inside, the night creeping in around her, but Tsunade wasn’t thinking about any of it. Out on the porch, she nursed the tissue in her hands, completely drained from the day.

Her cell phone was dark on the small table beside her, long turned off after she’d started getting text after call after notification. They were all from people asking what was going on with Kakashi, if she knew what had happened at school and if Kakashi was a ‘homo’.

She’d finished work without answering any of them but keeping her phone on just in case. In case Kakashi called or texted her. It had been a silly hope, that boy was stupidly independent and never asked anything from her. He’d been forced to be an adult so early on. If he had messaged her at all though, she would’ve dropped everything for him.

But he hadn’t. She’d come home to an empty house and she knew where he was. She could feel it, his composed aura like a beacon in the stress around her. Instead of sitting at home and waiting for him to come back, she met with Jiraiya and the lovebirds for a talk about how Kushina would give birth. They decided against a hospital when she’d offered up her skills. She was slightly irked that Jiraiya had guilted her into doing it even though she knew that he was aware about what was going on with the kids.

After that, she’d found herself in the parking lot of Akimichi Grocery. There were grocery bags of things she thought her teen would like in the trunk. She didn’t remember going inside, as if it had been a blur of running in and running out.

She’d even gone to a bar to take the edge off and yet hadn’t drank a single drop.

It was a good thing too because she’d felt the slow downfall and hurried out to the car in a flash. That calm composure was flickering and crackling like the shell of an egg as she sped back home until it completely shattered. Down into the very depths of her soul, she felt a wave of agony and blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. She wanted so bad to take that all away, to let her stupid, sweet boy feel nothing but she couldn’t and it hurt to feel him going through it. But that was part of what Kakashi had to face.

Not wanting to disturb, she parked the car further up the drive, kept her distance and listened.

In the quiet outside, she took her cold phone and headed inside once everything melted into quiet. Carefully, she stepped inside and dropped the bags onto the kitchen table. There was no other sound than her. Without even checking upstairs, she knew where she’d find him.

A warm blanket in her arms, she looked upon her boy asleep on the couch. His cheeks were stained red and eyes puffy. With a glance to the armchair, she stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. She left the room with the fire lit and the blanket position as best she could around Kakashi’s tall body.

His heart hurt.

Sounds in the kitchen hit his ears and he cracked sealed eyes to see the armchair across from him. Sitting up, Kakashi wearily remembered the night before by the pain in his eyes. Everything was numb though.

Tsunade was in the kitchen making something and it didn’t occur to him that it was an oddity until he moved into the kitchen. He sat down at the kitchen table without her noticing, unconscious of his silence until she saw him and jolted.

“Shit!” She hissed. “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” He heard himself mutter.

Then it was quiet except for her movements.

A bowl slid into view and he watched her sit opposite him, sipping with an upset face. “Not my best work.”

He tried it for himself, his favourite meal. He found that it tasted just the same as when he was a kid growing up with her. It tasted like a cold fall evening with her persuading him out of his hole upstairs into the living room to watch movies together.

It tasted like her love and even though she said nothing, he could feel her support on his tongue and he couldn’t stop the tears that ran down his cheeks again no matter how he tried.

It was the best thing he’d ever tasted.

Tsunade didn’t glance up from her food, giving him a bit of privacy. After putting her dish in the sink once they were done, she did the same for Kakashi’s.

Only after that did she kiss his head lightly, patting it softly. He leaned into her touch and they fell into a soft hug.

“Tsunade.” She heard him whisper as arms hugged her back.

“Yeah?”

“This sucks.” She squeezed him tighter and they both chuckled against their oncoming tears, hugging each other.

“It does, but it’ll be okay.” She assured and that seemed to make things better.

They eventually pulled apart and he shyly went up to his room. It was only when he was gone that she choked on a hiccup of her own. She couldn’t remember the last time he hugged her back.

In his room, Kakashi flopped into bed and fell back into the deepest sleep he’d had in a long time.

The next day was a lot kinder. School was the last thing on his mind and he ignored the nagging facts at the back of his mind. Television was a happy retreat and even Icha Icha brought a few faint laughs. Tsunade had gone to work for the day and he was home alone again but he didn’t feel so cold or empty anymore. He’d got the worst of it out the day before.

He was almost starting to feel like himself again. The shower had helped a lot.

He almost didn’t know what to do with himself.

Iruka suddenly popped into his mind and he realised that he hadn’t driven Iruka to their spot at all. A panic started in his body and he suddenly had to see Iruka, make sure he was okay and that the shadow bonded to him hadn’t caught up.

Throwing on a hat, he hurried out to the truck and down the street until he screeched to a in the driveway next door. There were no other cars in the driveway and he hurried to the front door, knocking loudly.

A few fearful moments passed by until the door opened and he sighed with deep relief. Iruka wobbled there in the door, blearily looking up at him as if he’d just woken up.

“Ahn, sorry, did I wake you?”

Rubbing his eyes, Iruka yawned and shrugged, “A little… Wassup?”

Oh, those were legs. They were slim, fit from exercise, probably soccer and all the biking around town. Then he scanned higher and found Iruka was only in boxers and a shirt though didn’t seem bothered one bit by it. But Kakashi sure was embarrassed on his part.

“Sorry, I should let you get back to bed,” Was what his slow brain would have said if Iruka hadn’t spoken first.

“Come on in,” Iruka was already saying, leaving the door open behind him and teetering back to the stairs. It forced Kakashi to come in and close the door behind him.

He couldn’t help but follow and watch as the other teen flopped into bed again, averting his eyes and noticing the tons of writing on the chalkboard wall.

There were familiar words from the guide and whole paragraphs that had been transcribed onto the wall in English. They mostly talked about focus and manipulating things that Kakashi didn’t understand at the moment.

“Wow looks like you’ve cracked it,” He said only to find that Iruka was no longer conscious again, breathing softly.

It left him not knowing what to do, awkwardly standing by the door and wondering if he should leave. So, he took up the pieces of chalk and switched his previous note for a more fitting one. Back down in the kitchen, he found the food Minato and Kushina had left Iruka with a smiley face on a post-it. The dining room that was untouched and he moved into the sunny living room.

Unlike the last time he’d seen it, everything was tidy and neat. The papers and books were nowhere in sight, presumably with Jiraiya wherever he was. The fire had long died but the sun was streaming in through the curtains. Taking in the peace and quiet, Kakashi sat numbly. He didn’t really know what he was doing there. It felt like he was just avoiding his problems. It was a nice relief from the anxiety, a small piece of normalcy he craved.

Drifting off into his own daydreams, he wondered what to do now. Avoiding school was not going to last forever. He still had to graduate but then what? He’d never really given it much thought. His grades were good, good enough for any education he wanted really. The question was what. There hadn’t been any other thoughts in his head than staying there in Konoha in some way. But that wasn’t a viable future anymore. He didn’t want to even think of what his classmates would do if they were so hateful in just their words. He had to go and be somewhere else, somewhere new. It was a scary thought, really scary.

A scream snapped him out of his thoughts. From upstairs, he heard something tumble to the ground followed by running and he hurried to the steps as Iruka slammed into him. Panting and more awake than ever, Iruka clutched his arms and Kakashi had to hold him still from running away as words tumbled out, “K-Kakashi she’s here, she’s here. We have to go now, now please, please.”

He restrained Iruka’s panic within his arms and held on tight as they both stared up at the stairs, paralyzed.

And they waited. And waited.

But Kakashi didn’t feel that presence like he had at the river and Iruka didn’t move his eyes from the top of the stairs.

“Are you sure?” He asked softly and he felt the arms around his waist soften slightly.

“I…” The fear was ebbing away to confusion. “She was right above me.”

As he slowly eased away from the other teen, Iruka could only watch in quiet dread as he started up the stairs.

“Kakashi, please,” Iruka hissed once he was up the stairs but he was too focused on trying to find it, that terrible aura. Reaching out with all his senses and trying to use that vision he’d found, there was nothing in the hall or in Iruka’s room. The closet was clean, under the bed was dusty and there was no trace of anything frightening except maybe Iruka’s handwritten chalk markings.

“I really saw her,” Iruka cautiously muttered from where he was watching in the hall, his whole frame tense. He looked like a skittish puppy and Kakashi wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in blankets and keep him warm. There was still so much mystery surrounding this bonded spirit, he didn’t know how any of this worked.

Glancing around the room again, he admitted honestly, “I don’t doubt that.”

Iruka didn’t seem confident with that response and Kakashi continued, Iruka moving closer to the room with Kakashi’s vocal thought process, “I mean, you’ve never seen her other than when she’s coming at you.”

Iruka nodded slowly and stepped into the room, inspecting it for himself.

“So, is this… Bond thing like a permanent thing or?” Kakashi asked grimly and Iruka floundered, pushing his bangs up and out of his face which just made them stand up even further.

“It can be moved and diverted, that’s what I did but... I-I don’t know. It’s not a science.” Dropping onto his bed, the other teen bit his lip as he struggled with his own confusion. “I mean, I don’t even know if I did it right to begin with.”

“Did what?”

With a vague wave of his hand, Iruka kept his eyes on the ground. “The… Binding diversion ritual, I guess you’d call it. It was all last minute. Used what I could find and what I knew which was so limited to begin with.”

Kakashi sat down too to process and try to find some sort of reason for any of this even though he didn’t know anything about what he was even saying. “Do you think it might be because the baby is coming soon?”

That seemed to stop Iruka in his tracks, thinking hard. “It is coming close.”

Nodding together, Iruka pressed his face into his hands and let out a frustrated groan, “Hnngg, why does this suck so bad?”

Kakashi found a spark of humour in that whine. He said automatically, “That’s what he said.”

There was a bark of laughter and he felt Iruka smack him with a pillow.

“Get out!” Was the appalled gasp.

“What?” Kakashi teased, “Because of a bad joke?”

“I need pants!” Iruka snapped as a diversion even though Kakashi caught glimpses of a blush on his cheeks.

“Too shy to put pants on in front of me? After I’ve seen all the best parts?” He egged on but Iruka wasn’t having any of it.

“Get out!” He snapped again and Kakashi conceded finally, stepping out to wait in the downstairs.

Once they were both decent, they were eating leftovers in the kitchen when Iruka poked questions at him with curious eyes.

“Since when?” He specified, “The spirit walking?”

“That’s what it’s called?” Kakashi mulled over the words in his head but Iruka was shrugging.

“Spirit walking, astral projection. Lots of names for it. Very rare.” Iruka went on, waving his fork around. “Not even I can do that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, at least not without losing my body completely.” The way Kakashi froze was a giant indicator that he certainly didn’t know that could happen. Iruka quickly added with a snap of his fingers, “I mean, if I did, I would lose connection completely. My body is the source of energy, not my soul.”

“And mine is?” Kakashi asked and Iruka bit his lip, concerned by the question itself.

“Yes,” He explained seriously. “Yes, it is. That’s where we differ, you and me.”

His soul. He hadn’t thought of it that way, his soul and body being separate. If Iruka’s energy was linked to his body and Kakashi’s to his spirit, he wondered if there were other facets of this puzzle that he was missing. If this was a trait specific to his family and very rare, what other combinations were there? Were body-energy links like Iruka’s common? Was the energy itself infinite or finite? Were Kushina and Minato the same? If Kushina was originally bound to the spirit following her family, why? And what was their relationship with his family?

“Tsunade said that my ancestors and the Uzumakis had a deal.” He said slowly. “That’s as much as I know.”

“Mhm,” Iruka hummed and bit down. “But you can get back without any problems?”

Chewing on the thought and food, Kakashi hummed, “Think so. Never actually try to get back, just do.”

There was so much to take in. They were frowning at each other when Iruka abruptly said, “Can we like, just go somewhere?”

He was pursing his lips and looking as though he was very uncomfortable in his own skin and Kakashi could understand that feeling way too much.

In his truck, Kakashi could see him visibly unwind the further they got from the house. He finally chilled out to match his unbound hair that he had been fidgeting with for the longest time. As a side thought, Kakashi noted that it looked so soft.

“Is that Gai?”

Iruka’s words almost made him yank the wheel to one side but he played it cool, gripping the wheel tightly as he followed Iruka’s finger. And there Gai was, as if it were any other day, running on the side of the road like he always did after school. Bitter and trying not to let it show, he kept his eyes glued to the road ahead and ignored the figure as they passed. He didn’t look in the rear-view minute for a long time after that.

“Hey, Kakashi?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” The truck may have been big on the outside but the inside felt very small. The weight of the air itself seemed to drop onto him and he fought it back. A hand touched his arm lightly. “Kakashi?”

He couldn’t cry anymore, he’d let everything out already. All that was left was that painful anxiety pulsing under his lungs and midsection. With the best smile he could muster, he softly replied, “I’m fine.”

But Iruka could see right through his bullshit excuse for emotion. He didn’t dare look at Iruka, knowing full well that Iruka could bring him to his knees as someone who he related to so much.

“What happened when I left class?”

“I said a few choice words.”

Iruka looked as though he was struggling with millions of feelings at once and Kakashi didn’t know what to say after that. They just drove and drove on until the sun started setting and they had to turn back.

The music kept softly playing from the radio. He stopped clutching the wheel with both hands and was barely hanging on by one hand when he felt a hand on his arm again on top of his sleeve.

“I’m so sorry.” He heard Iruka’s faint whisper and nodded.

So, he put on a smile as fake as his sexuality before Monday and didn’t look to see Iruka’s reaction but he did feel the disappointment in the hand when it pulled away. When they got to their spot, Iruka was already in the grass, holding his knees when Kakashi stepped into the grass.

Maybe he shouldn’t have smiled so weirdly. There was a rift now, an odd imbalance that he could feel in the air around him and it didn’t feel right at all. He knew where Iruka was coming from but he really didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to be reminded that his social circles had all but vanished. Although, he didn’t want to push Iruka away just because he hated talking about it. He kind of wanted to talk about it despite the pain, if just to tell Iruka. It was strange to want to be real with someone, to seek out a heart to heart.

“You shouldn’t feel responsible.” Iruka flinched, avoiding eye contact as Kakashi sat down next to him.

“Still,” Was Iruka’s mutter.

“I did what I did. Now, I have to live with it.” And that was the heavy truth.

“So, what did you say?” Iruka finally looked at him and Kakashi shifted uncomfortably.

“I might have called them trash and then left. Very vague insinuation but pretty heavy in implication.”

There was a pause as that awkward imbalance faded.

“One might even call it symbolic.” Iruka muttered before cheekily looking back at Kakashi.

“I thought we skipped English class today, what is this?” He joked, finding relieving normalcy again with Iruka’s grin as the younger man playfully batted his knee.

“It’s not me, I’m just quoting shitty literature!”

“From what?”

“It just so happens that Icha Icha thinks that writing a gay, erotic essay for homophobic teachers is a great piece of ‘symbolism.’” The air quotes really emphasized Iruka’s point to Kakashi’s fake horror.

“Spoilers!” He gasped and they both broke out into chuckles. “You’ve ruined Icha for me.”

“Yeah, yeah, as if it doesn’t ruin itself.” Iruka flopped down and Kakashi followed, shivering as the grass poked up against his neck and hair. It almost distracted him from the arm that flopped against his chest, palm up.

“This never gets old.” He heard Iruka whisper as he tried not to fidget under the physical contact, glancing at him to see him staring up at the sky with his eyes glimmered under the stars. At first, he didn’t get it but then Iruka explained softly, “In the city, you can’t see them for some reason.”

Above them, the black sky was speckled with brilliantly glimmering stars for as far at the eye could see in a range of different sizes and intensities, expanding out further on the edges of his vision. Covering a large section of the sky behind them, hazy areas of purples, blues and whites created rifts of nebulae that stretched down towards the fading light of the sun. The trees framing their entire view from all sides no matter how far the treeline was. For Kakashi, it was just the night sky and something that came out every night.

“Well,” he started saying. “The lights from the city would be too bright to be able to see them but they’re there. The um…”

He’d glanced over to find Iruka’s eyes shut but the other teen muttered in an intimate whisper, “Keep going.”

Confused but not wanting to disturb whatever this moment was, he swallowed against a tightness in his throat and continued, “The city lights create this glow around themselves and into the atmosphere. It’s like… The city lights are so bright that they bounce off our own atmosphere.”

As he spoke, he couldn’t help but glance over and watch Iruka’s steady breathing, lashes dark against his cheeks. “Makes the contrast between the sky and stars less intense. Stops you from seeing most of the space beyond.”

He’d thought Iruka had fallen asleep again initially but he wasn’t about to stop any of it. He’d never really been in romantic situations before. He’d seen movies, read books and heard songs about those moments. They weren’t that far off, he thought. A bit tacky and overdone most of the time but he could understand why people got so worked up about these things. Iruka’s arm was a small fragment of reality that anchored him down, reminding him he was human and could feel.

For the first time in many hours, he felt like himself again completely and the fear was stamped down for now. He actually felt good, at peace for a few moments.

So much so that he fell asleep. Blinking up at the dark sky, he didn’t know for how long he’d been out or when he’d fallen asleep in the first place but he looked over to find Iruka still by his side. His arm was still draped over Kakashi’s midsection and he didn’t want to move and wake Iruka up, ruin the moment. It was further down on his body, Iruka’s arm. More towards the edges of his ribs, fingers were curled into his palm.

He could probably bend his arm on that side but he didn’t want to chance it, ruin it.

Staring up at the stars, he could see the wonder Iruka felt for them and their beauty. It was a soft awe, an ache near his sternum that he'd felt before. When he looked back at Iruka, that feeling didn't fade. Under the starlight and faint shift in the air, Iruka peacefully slept with his head pillowed by the hood of his sweater and the grass beneath. If anything, the inexplicable burn rolled higher as if getting stronger and his breath caught in his throat. He quickly looked down to the arm draped across him, startled by the sudden rise of emotions and feelings. They were almost like the anxiety from the past few days but worse and oddly better at the same time. He couldn't tell what that meant.

Iruka’s watch was on the arm touching him. It reminded Kakashi that he didn’t have his phone, he didn’t know where it even was for once in the many years since he got it.

Curious about the time and distracting himself from his own feelings, he carefully moved his free arm up to the rubbery band, inching it towards his direction until he could see the screen. Iruka hadn’t moved at all and Kakashi chanced sliding fingers further around to button on the screen.

It blinked on, showing that it was a few hours passed midnight, an hour before they'd normally leave for home.

Sitting his head back on the grass, Kakashi didn't pull his hand away. The feeling in his chest spiked with the thought of his skin touching Iruka's. It was right there, a twitch of movement away from his fingers but he couldn't decide if he should. And then he didn't decide at all, his fingers moved on their own as if drawn by the idea.

The cool pads of his fingers on just grazed the inside of wrist and then he couldn't pull them away. Drawing fingers more across the smooth underside of Iruka's arm, his own skin rippled in goosebumps.

He'd never wanted to touch another person before or at least seek out physical contact. In fact, he had been extremely against it for most of his life, avoiding it at every turn. It was only in the rare instances that he was by himself, in his own world that he felt comfortable and wanted to be with someone else that way. He'd found his own preferences slowly and with much trepidation. He knew what being gay meant in this town. He'd spent many nights in bed, crying to himself that there was something wrong with him under Tsunade caught him one night. She'd sucked it out of him, listening every step of the tearful rant his fourteen-year-old self had confessed. And just when he thought his life was over, she'd wholeheartedly accepted him. She had given him that small gift, helping him accept that part of himself but he’d known he couldn't find that in anyone else in town.

And yet, here was someone just like him, another misfit among thousands. Especially now, Iruka felt like a safe space. Even though he was new and different, Iruka was really just another guy with thoughts and feelings just like him. He was real. The skin under Kakashi's fingers glowed warm, real.

Resting fingers against the inside of Iruka’s wrist and feeling fingers grazing the edge of his hand, Kakashi revelled in the moment. He couldn't tell for sure, but he was ninety-nine percent sure that this was what people would call romantic and the burning in his chest agreed.

There was a huff of breath suddenly and Kakashi watched Iruka's eyes shift under their lids until the brunet groggily woke up.

Awkwardly tapping Iruka's wrist with his finger, he said with the hope that Iruka wouldn't pull it away, “Hey.”

Iruka sat up abruptly but didn't pull his hand away. Under Kakashi's hand, he felt it turn and lay flat against his middle. Frozen and unmoving, he watched Iruka's sleepy eyes scan the treeline. The hand under his was even warmer, Iruka's touch very, very apparent on his torso. It was distracting and sent his mind and whole body into high gear.

He almost didn't hear when Iruka asked breathily, “What time is it?”

“Uh,” Snapping back to reality, Kakashi sat up. Turning Iruka's wrist in his hands to both of their surprise, he read out, “Almost three in the morning.”

He didn't see the faint dusting of pink across Iruka's cheeks. He was too distracted by something he'd noticed. In the corner of the screen on Iruka's athletic watch, there was the small meter that measured battery life. Even though they'd been out for hours, the bar still showed it as being completely fill. Come to think of it, he'd never actually seen Iruka without it.

He found Iruka looking at him, eyes wide as if he'd realised exactly what Kakashi had found out. Kakashi raised a brow and nodded to the watch with his hand holding Iruka's lightly. “Energy, eh?”

Staring at each other, Iruka didn't move an inch. They were locked in eye contact until the pressure built up too much and they sputtered out into laughing from the extremely serious vibes.

“Yes,” Iruka said through chuckles finally as he dug into one of his pockets with his casted hand. “Energy.”

Whatever he was looking for looked to be deep down and Kakashi wanted to reach out and help Iruka's struggling but Iruka had been in a cast long enough to know how to maneuver. Flopping back in the grass, he grumbled while reaching over with his other hand, “Why is it even in this pocket?”

Kakashi tried not to stare at the way his shirt rode up or how Iruka’s hips were momentarily in the air. The totally wasn't thinking of how the innocent struggle could have been taken completely out of context.

“Here!” Iruka had finally managed to pull out the old mp3 player he’d been using, dropping into Kakashi's hands. “Try turning it on.”

Knowing exactly where this was going, Kakashi played along and flicked on the power switch but the screen still stayed dark. Smirking back, he held out by the end for Iruka. With a finger, the younger man only briefly touched it and it flickered to life, powering up instantly.

“Damn,” Kakashi said in wonder. “So that you can do no problem?”

“Figured out how to do that pretty early on. Now, it's automatic really.” Iruka's flush only seemed to burn brighter at Kakashi's awe, not used to people being amazed by his simple little tricks.

“What else can you do?” Kakashi’s curiosity spilled out and their eyes met again as he handed the device back. Their fingers overlapped as Iruka took it back but they didn't pull away, sending thrills through Kakashi's arm at the intentional contact.

“Well,” Iruka said as he looked up at the sky. As Kakashi followed his eyes, a drop of rain hit right on the end of his nose from the cloudless sea of stars above.

Rain, he could control rain is what Kakashi concluded. It made him think back to that first real moment they'd met. It seemed like forever ago that their paths had officially crossed and yet…

Blinking back into Iruka's gaze, he wondered how long the ache in his chest would last, how long this peace would last. It felt too good to be true.

But there was always a price to pay.

And Kakashi had paid for it in advance.

“Why didn't you ever tell Gai?” Iruka asked to Kakashi's open heart.

And Kakashi told him honestly after a moment, “He was bullied, a new kid. He was the weird kid that everyone made fun of.”

He remembered the way Gai would sit at the front of the class, erasers thrown at his head and slurs thrown on paper airplanes getting stuck in his shirt collar. That rage burning inside from the other kids in his class being gross bullies. Sure, Gai wore funny clothes and was super into track but he seemed like a genuinely good person, a bit weird in his enthusiasm but with so much positivity he could rival the sun. He remembered them bonding over animal books and secretly pretending they were wolves running through the forest even though Kakashi would never admit that to anyone else.

“He liked me because I treated him like a human being. The others seemed to follow my lead.”

Iruka's eyes never left his and it was safe to open up even more.

“They stopped calling him gay. And I realised that I was.” Iruka’s understanding was just the cooling compress to the open wound he didn't even know he had since they'd left school.

The hand on his tightened around the player.

“He’ll understand,” Iruka soothed. “He’s your best friend.”

He hoped Iruka was right.

It was only that night when they drove back that he realised he wanted to hold Iruka’s hand properly. As soothing as Iruka was, he was a lot more than that and Kakashi hoped he’d get the chance again.

Lying in bed, he imagined fingers touching his and dreamt of the skin of Iruka’s inner arm.

As he thought of the weight of another body against him, he blinked awake.

Instead of his room, he was standing in the main hall of the Uzumaki home. White walls were dark except for a dim light coming from a doorway under the stairs. Moving forward, Kakashi saw how it flickered against the rough stone wall and the wooden stairs that led below the house. He’d never been down there, didn’t even know that they had ever opened that door up. He’d always overlooked it but now it called to him, urging him down.

He almost didn’t notice Minato until he quietly stepped out from the kitchen, pitcher of water in hand.

The man stepped down the creaking stairs in his blue pajamas, careful not to spill. Kakashi didn't think of walking down the stairs after him. Instead, he thought of being down the stairs and suddenly he was there, watching Minato step onto dirty, concrete floor. The space around them was dark except for the candlelight that was flickering around a corner at the far end of the room.

Passing old, forgotten chairs, he followed Minato deeper and he started to hear things. It sounded like whispering but not from just one person. They bounced off the rocky wall to their left that supported the stairs to the empty black to their left. It was as if a whole stadium full of people were whispering all at once and it would have made his skin crawl if he was in his physical body. Staring at the blackness to the left, he tried to see into it but it was too dark. They finally reached the end of the room where a doorway was lit and bright. Inside, a red light glowed and flickered but Kakashi couldn't see passed Minato’s glowing outline. As they came close, he saw the bookshelf next to the doorway, wondering if it normally covered the doorway as Minato moved into the room.

He finally saw what was making the red glow and knew immediately he shouldn't be watching this.

The worktable covering the opposite wall was filled with books and pages galore, other odds and ends in jars almost reminding him of his own basement. Even the old lantern that hung from the ceiling looked similar and emitted the same light. But in the center of the room, sitting bare on a spiral of dark, red markings was Kushina. Her back was to him but he saw the markings on her back too and how they looked to be eerily drawn in blood that glowed and pulsed with every moment. He could barely see her pregnant bump from the doorway and say how the markings were concentrated there, glowing the brightest and flickering wildly like a fire. From where she sat, the whispering was louder and she didn't move even as Minato came into the room.

Minato set the water down on the table and moved to sit opposite Kushina, reaching out to seemingly hold her hands. Through all the whispers and the shivering red glow, he heard Kushina ask, “How is he?”

“He seems fine,” Minato replied. “As closed off as ever.”

“He was out with Kakashi again?”

Minato nodded and Kushina hummed. Kakashi couldn't see her face but she sounded upset by this and he couldn't tell why.

“I'm worried about them, Minato.”

“I know but you can't beat yourself up about it. We have to let them make their own decisions and forge their own path.”

The whispering suddenly ramped up and deepened into a grumble that trembled the whole room briefly before it suddenly stopped, the glow of the markings on her fading. All throughout, the two adults didn’t seem to be surprised as if this was a normal occurrence for them. For all Kakashi knew, they probably did it every night but he didn’t know why. Taking the water, Minato set about wiping her down and helping her clean. The red lines seemed to wash away easily onto the floor below and melt into the very foundation of the house.

“Tell me again,” She implored. “What were his words exactly?”

“Well,” Minato chewed on his words as he dipped back into the water, turning it rusty with what was most probably blood. “He said he didn't see much. Just Iruka by the side of the road and the car in flames.”

“But it wasn't the truck.” Kushina reaffirmed.

Shaking his head, Minato wiped away the last bit on Kushina's back. “No. So, that one is probably long behind us.”

She seemed pacified as Minato brought her a robe and helped her into it. But then she said, “Last night's isn't.”

They both froze until Minato asked, “You heard that?”

“Yeah,” She looked up at him and they squeezed each other's hands. “I know this isn’t going to end well either way. Iruka can tell too. He’s strong but…”

“He doesn’t have the control,” Minato supplied to Kushina faint chuckles.

“Reminds me of you,” She kidded as her husband winked at her.

“And yet, look at me now,” They shared a sweet kiss before Minato helped her to her feet, moving to fetch a robe but Kakashi unconsciously had his back turned, giving unknown privacy to them both.

“I think we need to consider a backup plan.”

He heard Minato reply, “I think you're right.”

Kakashi moved out of the room, studying the darkness of the room beyond as he heard them move about. There was an old box-television in the corner and stacks of chairs that looked to be the same as the ones in the dining room. He moved further in and saw an old couch draped in a white sheet.

Before he could move closer, there was movement again in the secret room and he looked back to watch as Minato made a small hand gesture and the bookcase slid right in front of the doorway, supporting Kushina and walking her to the stairs as it fell into place. They stepped slowly back up the stairs, taking the light with them. He was about to follow them up but he noticed a figure appear on the couch out of the corner of his eye.

Knees up and looking deeply concerned, Iruka looked like he’d been there for a while with his hair mussed and the clothes he’d been wearing earlier. He knew Iruka couldn’t see him but he sure as hell could see Iruka now that the other teen wasn’t invisible anymore. The dark swallowed them as the door shut above. Iruka stood and he followed, watching as the teen stepped up the creaky steps without making a single sound, as if weightless. The sound of Minato and Kushina’s steps grew faint above them.

At the top step, the door was no problem for a boy with superpowers who just slipped right through it.

Following with a little less easy, Kakashi moved through the house and followed until they were back in Iruka’s bedroom. The silence was almost excruciating as he watched Iruka pad soundlessly to the window.

Sitting on the edge, Iruka palmed his face and groaned in frustration. The quiet bubble faded with the groan, Iruka’s fingers pressing his hair back as he stared dejectedly at the floor.

Kakashi watched for a moment before sitting across from Iruka on his bed, feeling the sheets under his fingers and his whole body completely as a test. Hypothesis correct, Iruka’s eyes caught on his feet and moved up until they met Kakashi’s. They were troubled eyes, brewing with a deep sorrow and helplessness he’d never seen before on Iruka’s face but an emotion and feeling he knew well.

“Hey,” Iruka whispered out and his eyes filled with tears.

He didn’t know what the future held, what would happen in the next week or tomorrow but Kakashi knew that these weren’t feeling he wanted anyone to linger on. Time felt short, as if life was going too fast all of a sudden and had to be captured in a moment. If the baby’s birth was going to be the catalyst of everything, then he wanted to spend this time wisely, whatever the outcome was. He didn’t want Iruka to have to feel like he did. If he could physically be by Iruka’s side in that moment and help him ignore the rest of the world, he would.

Kakashi didn’t know what to do or say but his spirit moved on its own, sitting beside Iruka and pressing his lips to Iruka’s hair.

And then he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> Just to let you know, the amazing Pastles is organizing a Fest if any of you are interested and didn't know! There's a post on the KakaIru LJ community if so!  
> Hope you enjoyed! :3  
> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys might have noticed that I took off the number of chapters! It's just temporary until I get a solid feel for how long chapters will be but it shouldn't be longer than ten at this point! Nine chapters and an epilogue! I swear!

The pain and fear were unforgettable.

Iruka's tears were at the front of his mind as he padded downstairs that morning. Those pent-up feelings had been there for months, spilling out through his eyes. A dread was peaking over the horizon and it felt like it was coming fast, spurring on the feeling that there wasn't enough time. The source of everything rested within Kushina and the baby she was about to bring into this world.

It seemed as though Minato and Kushina were preparing for the worst, as if Iruka simply not being around wasn't enough for the baby's birth. He had the sneaking suspicion that they were right. It made him wonder just how powerful Kushina was and what power she was passing on down to the baby. He tried not to think about how it would try to get to the baby and what would happen to the boy next door.

In the kitchen, he surprisingly found Jiraiya nursing a large cup of coffee, "Hey, kid. How's it going?"

"Um… Good." He said simply, heading to the fridge.

"Yeah? Is that why you're not in school?"

Jiraiya apparently knew how to get right to the point. Turning back, he found the other man serious and staring back. It made him want to shift in his seat, unsure of why Jiraiya was staring him down but having a sneaking suspicion that there was a very good reason for it. He hoped that Jiraiya wasn't like a lot of the people he knew.

"Differences of values." He provided but Jiraiya only dug deeper.

"Small town values?"

He didn't exactly feel comfortable with the subject that was implied, but he'd had the worst of it this past week. What could hurt him more at this point? "Yeah…"

"Ahn, I remember dealing with the same things when I was your age." Jiraiya said as he sipped his coffee and the weight on Kakashi's shoulders fell as his interest peaked.

"You grew up in Konoha?"

"No, but I did grow up in a small town. Back then, you couldn't even sneeze without people talking about it." Kakashi sat down across from the older man with his own warm drink and listened, studying the older man as he spoke. "I had a friend who wasn't exactly of the same persuasion as others and that was a big problem for him back when we were younger. At the time, he kept it so hidden that no one should have ever found out but rumours spread fast."

Face growing dark with the memories, Jiraiya sipped his drink and seemed to lose himself to his own thoughts. There were things going on in his mind that Kakashi could sympathize with, problems he knew well. They were problems he'd been facing head on this week.

"What happened to him?"

Jiraiya eventually muttered, "He moved to the big city, actually. Made a name for himself."

"Good for him," Kakashi said but he was a million miles away, thinking of the new possibility he had never even dreamed of. The nearest city was almost two hours away, three hours if you wanted to get to an actual metropolis. He would have to look further into this. To do that, he would need his phone.

The question was, where was it?

He tried remembering the last time he had it but everything was foggy.

"Where do you live now?" He asked politely and Jiraiya was glad for the change of topic.

"Used to live in Kumo. Minato was even my apprentice for a very long time when I was there." He explained with a grin, "Now, I travel and read and work!"

"Sounds like the life," Kakashi chuckled back, his mind going back to moving away and wanting badly to do research. He still needed his phone for that though.

"Tsunade asked if you wanted to make something for tonight." At Kakashi's blank stare, Jiraiya continued, "You know, since your neighbours have so graciously invited us over."

"Oh!" He had almost completely forgotten, remembering the invitation Iruka had extended what felt like ages ago. Well, he had completely forgotten technically. "Yes, I was going to make dessert."

"Great, need any help?" Jiraiya offered but Kakashi was already flying through the kitchen, pulling out ingredients and things he would need to make something.

A sweet tooth he did not have but he could make a mean dessert that would put anyone in a coma, Tsunade could attest to that. Cooking had always been something he was good at and it felt natural to remember recipes as ratios and lists. He'd always been confident of his food, something he wanted to share with others. He also very much wanted to see Iruka eat his cooking. Maybe it was because he wanted to give Iruka a piece of happiness, something to help him in a very small way. He knew Iruka had a raging sweet tooth and was excited and anxious for a chance to feed it. Within minutes, he had something in the fridge and the dishes were drying as efficiently as ever.

Excusing himself, he dipped into his room and made a cursory first look to no success which he hadn't been hopeful of anyway. If his guess was correct, it would've kept him awake all night with the constant notifications. He kind of didn't want to find it but he didn't exactly have a laptop and the giant pc downstairs was so old that it was barely able to run.

Slipping into his kicks, he trudged through the misty morning to his truck and creaked open his door. The morning chill was new and a telling sign that October was coming soon, a few days away. The front was just as clean as he'd left it and the back too. It was only after he'd peered under his own seat that he found the slick reflective glass. As he headed back inside, he found it was without power sadly but not unexpectedly. Even though he was dreading this anyway, he would have to plug it in and wait.

Cross-legged in bed, he juggled turning it on in that moment while it was plugged in or waiting a bit and finding something else to do. It wasn't like he had any homework to do though. But he did have some very questionable literature. Close enough, right?

Reaching behind his pillow, he pulled out the gaudy orange book and set to working on those smutty pages that he had an odd fondness for. The main character was trying to figure himself out while also juggling his school life. The main romance had begun to bloom the last few pages he'd read with the hot, new girl at school and he'd been slowly losing interest until something happened that caught his attention.

The main character, Ryuji something or other, happened upon Haru, the boy next door, on his way home. There was so much tension between them but Ryuji suggested they hang out before bringing them back. Somehow, the characters ended up talking under the stars and Kakashi's thoughts of last night with Iruka were cemented into his mind as romantically inclined. He couldn't help but picture himself in the main character's shoes as Ryuji confronted Haru about the things he'd seen and demanded to know albeit dumbly why Haru would say his name while touching himself.

And then the scene devolved from there into Haru explaining in very erotic detail what he thought of Ryuji while Kakashi trying not to picture Iruka telling him that. It was about when Ryuji had Haru up against the singular tree in that field about to penetrate him that Kakashi was reeling and had to stop, feeling that this was all too familiar and foreign at once.

It was way too familiar of a setting if you took out the X-rated stuff. The trees, stars and huge plain of grass with a singular tree? The author had never mentioned the main character ever going to that place before let alone why they went there this time. Why would mister Aiji Rya choose that setting of all options? Did he just want to write about two teenagers fucking against a tree without anyone to find out? Were plains and trees just that basic of make out spots? It was way too coincidental for his liking. It had him rethinking the entire reason why him and Iruka even went to that spot. Had Iruka read the book entirely? Was that what he wanted? Kakashi couldn't see Iruka making such convoluted plans, especially with the problems he already had on his plate.

As much as he valued Iruka letting him in last night and showing an intimate side Kakashi had never seen, he had a lasting impression of Iruka in his mind. Weird as Kakashi was, he didn't have a savior or god complex. Kakashi wanted to heal his pain and hide him away from the fearful world around Iruka but he knew that he couldn't do it alone. He would rather help than save even though he didn't know what counted as helping.

It was easy to imagine himself as someone Iruka trusted, someone who was nestled up by Iruka's heart. With the words in front of him hinting at more and suggesting more than just Iruka's safe place, he couldn't help but think to himself that there would be no point in picturing something that would probably never happen. He respected Iruka and cared about him but he had to wonder if he was attracted to Iruka or the idea of Iruka.

With a groan, he flopped back onto his bed and for the millionth time in his life wished he wasn't the only gay guy in town so that his feelings for Iruka wouldn't feel like they were just because Iruka was the only option. Maybe he was repressed. He didn't know anything else than his life without romance or sex. So, was what he feeling just because Iruka was the first viable, openly gay in town? Was the burning in his chest because Iruka was charming and boyishly handsome or was it because he could openly fantasize about Iruka wanting him back?

He couldn't tell.

Besides, doing it against a tree seemed very uncomfortable. It would've been much easier if they'd just done it in the tall grass, in his opinion. Not that he had any experience in that.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade's voice snapped him back to reality and out of his mental hole. "Are you ready?"

"For what?" He called back and he heard her sigh in frustration.

"We're going over to the neighbours, remember?" She called back and he didn't respond. "They invited us over for dinner!"

"Oh shit." He cursed and hurried around his room to put on clothes. Meanwhile, the adults downstairs were waiting at the door with the dish Kakashi had made earlier, listening to him struggle.

"He's usually good at remembering these things," Tsunade murmured to herself and Jiraiya chuckled.

"Remember when he used to remind you about your own appointments?" He supplied and she scowled at him.

"Don't remind me."

As Kakashi hurried down the stairs, she handed him his jacket and asked, "You good to help Iruka tonight?"

What? Staring at her in confusion and partial horror at the dirty things his mind conjured up, his voice cracked, "What?"

She didn't really have to say anything because his mind clicked into place as she gave him a tired stare.

"Oh! Yeah, yeah." He made sure his keys were in his pockets.

"You good?" She prompted him and he nodded before freezing, remembering his phone upstairs.

"Wait," And he went up to grab it as she groaned.

"We'll meet you there!" She called after him and they stepped out the front door. Taking the steps two at a time, he snatched the phone and powered it up as he headed to the truck. Down the drive, the other car disappeared and Kakashi sat in his truck for a moment, watching the screen power on. The slow brewing anxiety was starting to bubble in anticipation, worried at what he might find when it opened up.

And it was an agonizingly long wait. He was debating powering it down again and turning it back on, in case it was frozen. Finger on the power button, he was startled when it went to his locked screen. Within a few seconds as his connection linked up, there was a stream of notifications that swarmed in. It overwhelmed him and his phone. Letting it drop to the passenger's seat, Kakashi ignored the blinking out of the corner of his eye until it settled down, unlike his dread.

After a deep breath, he felt steeled enough to open that connection to the other side of his life. The first few ones were emails that were mostly his usual stuff, giving him a false sense of security. Next up were the rest, the things he was dreading. Although, it wasn't as bad as he'd initially thought. There was a total of two texts and one voicemail.

And they were surprisingly uplifting; a voicemail from Anko, text from Tsunade asking him to pick up milk after school from Monday and a text from Kabuto that was just a question mark. In the small area of his truck, he listened to Anko's voice ask if he was okay. She sounded alone in a quiet room. He was speaking softly which was very unlike her but she was saying, "People are saying that you're sick from Tsunade. If you want, I can always bring you some of my gran's soup. Um… And… Well, I know you and Iruka hang out a lot. C… Could you let me know if he's okay? I know he doesn't have a phone or anything like that... Just text me when you can. Let me know how everything is."

She said goodbye and the messaged ended.

What had he just heard? In the quiet of the truck, he pressed his hands to his face.

He'd known Anko for a long time, her family grew up here too after all. She usually was a snarky, sarcastic weasel with a mean streak and this was not her usual style. It felt too real, like it was a side of her no one had seen beneath that hard exterior. Which is why it felt wrong.

It wasn't easy to trust. It was especially not easy to trust after what had transpired Monday at school. Maybe he was being cynical but it was odd that she would call him, let alone before Gai did.

And yet there were no messages or contact at all from the guy who had been his best friend. It was disheartening but he was kind of grateful that he didn't have to deal with it right away. He kind of wanted to put that away and forget about it.

Although, when he rolled up and knocked on the front door, he kind of forgot about everything in general, including how to speak.

Hair pulled up high and dressed in a tucked in button up, Iruka looked clean and refreshed. Framed by the warm light from inside the house, Iruka was shining all on his own and Kakashi couldn't remember his own name. It was as if nothing had happened and he grinned that cheeky smile. "Welcome, stranger."

Before Kakashi could get a grip on himself, Iruka ushered him in by his wrist and led him in further. The whole first floor was warm with light and music from somewhere in the kitchen. Smells of food were pouring out and he heard the laughter of the adults.

"Ah! Kakashi!" Minato greeted from the kitchen with an equally cheeky grin and wave of a spatula. Tsunade and Kushina were drinking on the couch, looking up from the liquor and juice mid-conversation.

"Finally!" Tsunade groused while Kushina was hurrying to her feet with a glowing smile.

"It's been too long," She gushed as Kakashi was pulled in for an awkwardly sweet hug. "The dessert you made looks so good."

"Ahn, thank you," He could feel the attention getting to him, burning his cheeks as he was ushered to the kitchen and given drinks. Politely declining most, he settled for water and offered to help Minato who gratefully accepted his helping hands. Iruka had eventually rolled up his sleeves and joined in as Jiraiya provided entertainment through storytelling.

"I used to teach there part-time for a little bit, mostly math classes and science classes." Jiraiya continued explaining to Minato's amused ears. "And some of these other teachers were very fine, in my opinion. So, I'm volunteering to help the track and field team that spring. The kids are all lined up for the first race, the two-hundred-meter dash."

A whining groan came from down the hall as the ladies joined them. Tsunade whined with her cheeks already rosy from drinks, "Don't tell them that story."

But Jiraiya ignored her, "They were all lined up, ready to run. The gun goes off and they push off but this one kid lets out the loudest fart ever."

While most groaned, there were a few chuckles that grew when Jiraiya continued, "But it doesn't stop, it just keeps going and the poor kid just toots with every step. The whole race was disqualified because everyone started laughing and couldn't run anymore."

"Absolutely lovely," Tsunade remarked sarcastically as the others laughed louder.

All the while, Kakashi was leaned up against the door with a smile and a comment here or there that he inadvertently quipped out. They got to talking about their school days and he listened in awe as Tsunade told stories of medical school, Minato's love for mathematics and Kushina's brief history with law school.

"I'd loved it all so much but school just killed whatever I felt about the justice system." She thoughtfully commented but her smile came back to hide the regret quickly, "But that led me to Minato."

A hand affectionately was on her shoulder, rubbing softly as Minato winked, "And then along came Iruka."

Shuffling and hiding behind a nose itch, Iruka flushed with the attention in a way that said he knew how they felt about him and didn't know how to respond to it.

"And you're still a troublemaker even as our son." Kushina playfully chided.

Cheeks on fire, Iruka tried to back out past Kakashi but the taller teen was quicker. Iruka glared at him softly but Kakashi just smirked back.

"Food's almost ready," Minato eased up and the others set about readying the table but Iruka's eyes lingered on him as the annoyance faded into thought.

As the kitchen cleared, Kakashi waited for whatever words were on Iruka's lips to spill out but they never came. The younger teen instead broke away to help the others to Kakashi's disappointment, as if a clear change from last night. He wondered if Iruka regretted that moment of weakness, was ashamed of it. It put Kakashi off for a second and he set aside the awkward feeling to help set out the food.

"October First Fair is on Monday this year," Tsunade was explaining. "If you two want, there's going to be a show, food and best of all, drinks."

"It wasn't on a Monday last year," Jiraiya noted only to have Tsunade scowl playfully.

"Of course, it wasn't. The first wasn't on a Monday last year." She teased.

"And it won't be on a Monday next year." Kushina pointed out playfully.

Jiraiya quipped right back, "Is that how time works?"

Mouth full, he listened as the adults exchanged stories and he noticed how Tsunade's eyes would go soft towards Jiraiya, a rare tenderness he was familiar with. He wondered how deep their relationship ran and if he should expect a lot more of Jiraiya in the future. The future was something that dawned on him as Minato asked him about colleges.

"Ahn, I've got a few in mind," He vaguely responded but Minato didn't stop there.

"Well, I've got a few friends back over in my old department at KumaU," Was his offer and Kakashi actually considered it. He wasn't a fan of mathematics but university was a prospect he hadn't considered. What would he study then? He would have to move to Kuma if he was accepted.

He wondered how he would make it through the year if he had to go back to school. He would have to eventually, he would fail if he didn't.

"How about you, Iruka? Have you thought about what you'd do after high school?"

Eyes all turned to the boy next to him and Kakashi couldn't help but follow them, curious too. There was a long pause though as Iruka's brows pressed together in a struggle.

"I… Hadn't really thought that far ahead." There was a dark connotation to that and the table fell quiet again in understanding. A strong sense of foreboding crept onto their shoulders and Jiraiya coughed it away.

"Well, that's what we're here for." The older man winked and nudged Tsunade's arm as she nodded.

"He's right. We just have to stick together." The others at the table seemed reassured but Kakashi saw right through her, the way she seemed to be reassuring herself.

Kakashi remembered what he'd seen the night before, what the couple across from him had said in secrecy. He wasn't an idiot and neither was Iruka, they were all probably thinking of the same thing. Kakashi wondered if it was Minato or Jiraiya who could see the future, if his hunch was correct.

Next to him, the tension didn't fade from Iruka's shoulders for a long time. It just grew until he felt Iruka's hand on his wrist.

Looking up, Iruka was already giving him a strained smile, "Can we go?"

With a nod, he agreed quietly, "Sure."

"Well, we should get going." Iruka declared and was already out of the room with his half-empty plate with Kakashi jolting into action.

"Ahn, Kakashi!" Tsunade called after him and he stopped while Iruka flew up the stairs. Tsunade's eyes held onto his though and she said weakly, "Don't forget your phone, okay?"

He felt Minato and Kushina's concerned eyes on him, pleading for the same while Jiraiya studied him with an empty expression. Nodding, he reassured them, "Charged and ready."

Iruka's steps hurried down the stairs and drew him back to task. Following Iruka out, they stepped into the darkening skies and loud cricket songs.

Sky painted orange and purples, the tall trees obscured the sunset but even in the shadows, Kakashi could see the frustration in Iruka's shoulders as he stepped down from the veranda. The treeline ahead of them was still and they carried on across the grass to the overgrowth of forest. They didn't speak as the tension slowly faded, stepping carefully over the thick foliage and onto the soft, mossy ground beyond.

He only asked after they'd walked a bit into the forest, moving to next to him, "Iruka?"

As if blinking out of a trance, Iruka looked over to him, "Yeah?"

"What was that?"

"Just didn't feel comfortable with talking about that kind of stuff," Iruka reasoned but Kakashi knew that he was avoiding.

Stopping amongst the trees, he watched Iruka's faltering pace until they were both still between the cricket chirps. "Iruka."

There was a moment of indecision, Kakashi watching his back as the darkening air around them started to glimmer with firefly light.

Iruka knew what he was really talking about. What he'd seen last night seemed to be a regular occurrence, the ritual Minato and Kushina had been performing. Their words were the greater deal though and the implications of them. There were bits Kakashi didn't know and things Iruka did that involved him heavily. They were the reason why all the adults seemed to be reluctant that they hang out together in the first place. He had concluded that Tsunade was very much aware of what was going on to. He wanted to hear the truth from Iruka's mouth though, someone who he trusted to tell him the truth.

Finally, Iruka's head turned to him, his mouth curved into a deeply frustrated line.

Avoiding Kakashi's eyes but not turning away, he explained slowly, "I wasn't supposed to even hear about the visions or what they were but… They're not too good at sensing when I'm there."

"Visions? About the future?" Already knowing the answer, Kakashi watched Iruka simply nod.

"He saw that… He saw your car on fire and I was there."

That confirmed Kakashi's hypothesis; a vision of his own death.

"Who's visions?" He asked, the last piece of the puzzle he was missing.

"Jiraiya."

And then the reason why Tsunade brought him in from wherever he was became clear, why Jiraiya was keeping an eye on them all. Iruka seemed to be not too keen about the old man's powers either. His frown and the way he'd been sneaking around the night before told Kakashi that he wasn't kept in the loop about the visions Jiraiya had.

"Have you heard of any others?" He asked, wondering about past ones, if any had come true.

Pursing his lips, Iruka shifted the book that had been hidden behind an arm into Kakashi's sight, the guide. "No. And they wouldn't tell me even if I asked."

He seemed bitter about it but continued on quiet, barely audible through the rustle of leaves, "They did warn me of a few things here and there. I could put two and two together though about what it meant."

"What did they say?"

Iruka looked up at him again, searching as he said, "That I shouldn't get close to you. That you were different."

"Funny, that's what Tsunade said about you," Kakashi said and they both smirked but the realisation that dawned on Kakashi.

It was very likely that Jiraiya had contacted both Tsunade and the Uzumakis, telling them the exact same thing. That had led to Iruka and Kakashi avoiding each other but being extremely aware of one another from the start, surprisingly. All those times he'd thought of Iruka on the other side of the room, he wondered if Iruka had been thinking of him too.

Iruka seemed to hum to himself, moving further into the trees, "Better hurry before it gets too dark and we can't see anything."

Following him in, Kakashi asked, "What are we doing?"

He heard Iruka ahead mutter in uncertainty, "Let's find out."

Which was not a very settling comment.

He held in his sarcasm though and gave Iruka the benefit of doubt, watching him stop up ahead in an area covered by trees above that was flatter than the rest.

Stepping into Iruka's personal space, he looked over his shoulder at the book and the sticky noted pages. He thought back to the chalkboard scribbles from the day before. "What did you find?"

"Kind of hard to explain but…" Iruka bit his lip in thought. "You know how you could see the spirit at our spot right?"

He noted how Iruka had called it 'our spot' and held back a shiver. "Yeah, kind of like a blur."

Iruka nodded, running his hands over the written words, "It's kind of the same principle for this. You've got this plan of existence, reality and this writing. Then you've got that plane of existence with spirits and that jazz. To read it, you have to see into the other plane just enough so that they blend."

"Uh huh." Kakashi tried to use that vision, peering into the other plane as this one became blurry but couldn't see a difference in the words, just blur. "And is this a thing that you can do?"

Eyes on him, Iruka nodded and searched his face as he tried to see what Iruka was seeing. "You can't?"

When Kakashi shook his head, Iruka hummed, "Maybe we're more different than we thought."

"So, what do you see?" He pressed.

Iruka moved away, into the middle of the empty patch as he explained, "It's writing, different spells and tricks I could pull. A lot of stuff in here I don't understand. But there are some basic things I can try. Like the one I'm trying now."

Running his hand over a section of writing, Iruka read aloud, "Protection."

"What does it do?" Felt like a silly question, seemed pretty self-explanatory but he was standing in a dark forest with a cute guy, stranger things had happened.

"Well," Iruka started, sitting on the ground. He started pulling things out of his pockets like string and small herb leaves, arranging them in front of him with the book on his lap. "I don't really know, but I thought it would be good to give it a shot."

"Mhm," Kakashi was humming, unable to see what Iruka was reading but trusting Iruka despite his vague words. It was as if he was missing piece of the picture, unable to compare what was written to what Iruka was doing. But he knew the basis and what Iruka wanted to accomplish. He just worried about the limited time they had. "How long is this going to take?"

His eyes trained to the woods around them as he waited for an answer that never came. Looking over at Iruka, the other teen was quiet, staring out at the darkening forest beyond them too.

"Iruka?"

He didn't look at Kakashi. Instead, he put his eyes back onto the book and said darkly, "I don't know."

The way he didn't look up and the dark around them made Kakashi ask again, "Iruka?"

After a moment of not moving or even reading, Iruka looked at him with a listlessness that felt like he had given into reality. "I used to be able to feel her. I could tell how far away she was. I don't even know if she's following me anymore."

His words brought a deep anxiety into Kakashi's chest, remembering the figure he'd seen a few too many times. Before, he hadn't ever been afraid of her. He had known that her goal wasn't him and that they had time to get away if ever she got close. He guessed that they would sense her if she did, especially Iruka. Somewhere, out there in the forests or wide plains of Konoha, she was out there now and they had no way of telling when she was near or when she would be. She could be waiting for them anywhere, watching them.

Standing by Iruka's side, he tried to see into the veil beyond. Trying to search for her beyond what his eyes could really see, he felt Iruka's hand on his calf.

Under his breath, Iruka started whispering into the quiet around them. The only noises for a long while where the words and the crickets around them. Even though the words around him started to feel painfully uncomfortable and even more intimidating, he felt like Iruka's hand touching him was an anchor. It was coming from someone who was in a much worse position than him, reminding him that he wasn't alone in this fear and that there were people more afraid than he was.

Iruka's voice suddenly stopped and he looked down to find Iruka scanning the ground and air around them.

"Did it work?" He asked as Iruka stood up.

Mystified and confused, Iruka mumbled, "I don't know."

The book dangled from his far hand but he seemed to be holding in more emotions than Kakashi could see. They both were looking out into the trees as if waiting for something to happen or something to come to them.

Instead, Kakashi reached over and took Iruka's hand. He felt a squeeze but he didn't feel Iruka's eyes on him. So, he lightly pulled on the hand and Iruka didn't resist.

Back through the bushes and trees, they navigated in the quiet dark towards the house lights in the distance.

It was only when they got to Kakashi's car that he let go of Iruka's hand, the fingers around his feeling like they resisted briefly. It was a hint that made everything feel a bit better.

"Should we wait?" Kakashi asked when they were in the truck and Iruka shook his head.

"No, let's go somewhere," He said softly and Kakashi put the truck in reverse.

It wasn't long before they felt even slightly normal again. The rhythmic movement of the truck lulled them into the low song coming from the radio.

"We used to go on these little trips when I was younger." Iruka eventually said, drawing onto his pants absentmindedly. "We would drive to the beach in the summer or the movies. Love the arcade the most."

"Yeah?" Kakashi hoped Iruka would say more and was relieved when Iruka went on.

"There was this dance game that I was kind of good at." There was a chuckle as a memory seemed to pop up. "My dad slipped and twisted his ankle on one of those games."

He laughed softly with Iruka but listened as Iruka went on, noticing that this was the most Iruka had ever spoken about his parents and the time before Minato and Kushina.

"My dad kind of sucked at sports and… Physical activity in general." He explained and Kakashi automatically could relate.

"Same here," He said and at first there was silence as they both realised what Kakashi had said. "I mean, my dad was a big homebody so he usually didn't leave home especially after the war."

He found that he wasn't afraid to open up to Iruka. There wasn't that sadness that he usually felt when he thought of his dad. For once, it felt natural to talk to someone about it. Maybe it was because Iruka knew how he felt and vice versa.

"He was a big handyman though, always found something to work on."

"Kakashi… If you don't mind my asking..."

Iruka was deep in thought, hesitating to ask and Kakashi knew that this was going to go a lot deeper. "Yeah?"

"How did he pass?" He finally let out and Kakashi didn't flinch away from the question.

"Suicide." Kakashi said. "He was overseas when I was born. My mom died in childbirth and he wasn't really the same when he came back, according to Tsunade. He had a rough time with the post-traumatic stress and everything else but he still stuck around a few years more, raised me as much as he could until one day he couldn't anymore."

As the truth lay there open, there was an odd calm that fell onto them.

"My parents were killed a few years back." Iruka confessed once they were sitting in the grass, the air chill around them as they sat closer together for warmth. "They were police officers, dealt more with the supernatural stuff. They were called in for a suspicious vehicle and instead found smugglers. There was a shootout, my dad was shot and killed but the smugglers left their goods behind. That's when Kushina and Minato were called in."

The unexpected turn had Kakashi reeling and Iruka pursed his lips. "I don't know how much I'm supposed to talk about."

"Iruka." He insisted and the other teen struggled with Kakashi's pleading. "Come on, talk to me."

And then Iruka caved under that persuasive whine. "They found artifacts from almost a hundred years ago. Things that belonged to the Uzumakis. And then my mom died. There, that's the end of that story."

"Iruka." Kakashi pressed but the younger man had already clammed up, shaking his head.

"So, are you going to talk to Gai?" Iruka retorted and Kakashi felt the same shush fell onto him even though Iruka was jeering and scoffing. "Yeah? You going to or not?"

"You're changing the topic," He rebutted.

"Kakashi." That imploring was what made Kakashi. Iruka's eyes were looking up at him, eyes big and begging for him to put the subject away. Who was he to deny those puppy dog eyes?

With a defeated sigh, he flopped onto the grass and said, "I've been thinking about it."

"Mhm?"

Iruka's genuine concern was heartwarming, especially since it seemed like he would support Kakashi no matter if he confronted Gai or not. "I might talk to him on Monday at the fair."

"I almost forgot that was a thing."

Kakashi smirked up at Iruka. "No school on a Monday? Who could forget that?"

Chuckling, Iruka laid back into the grass beside him and he didn't comment on how Iruka's arm was pressed up against his. It was nice.

"Why is it such a big deal?" Iruka asked up to the cloudy, dark skies and Kakashi didn't have to think hard about what they were taught in elementary.

"A really long time ago, there was a huge family that basically owned Konoha at the time and the story goes that the head honcho's brother was secretly killed by a gang that immigrated into town not long before. Long story short, the new guys are invited over for dinner and there's this convoluted plot to kill them. The house burns down. Everyone dies and the town lives happily ever after."

"What?" Iruka snickered. "That's what it's about? Just… Everyone dying?"

"Yup." Kakashi openly laughed back and Iruka nudged into him.

"And here I thought Konoha was boring." Kakashi leaned into the laughing and Iruka's side, enjoying the teasing that Iruka was throwing at his hometown. And then Iruka said, "Well, not all of it."

"Oh?" He looked down from the sky to his sweet company and found Iruka was studying him, eyes trailing down Kakashi's chin and neck.

Kakashi didn't realise the flutter in his chest until Iruka nodded and whispered to him, "Yeah."

There was a rosy flush rising up Iruka's neck. And it hit Kakashi that Iruka was subtly hinting that he was talking about the person next to him. Iruka was very close to him, they were touching and leaning into each other. Normally, he would've been so jittery by the idea of someone else being in his personal space. Any other person, he would recede, retreat and shy away from contact from anyone else, even Gai. But this anxiety bubbling up wasn't from being physically uncomfortable. He didn't want to run away. Surprisingly, he wanted to get closer.

And that fluttering got worse, so much worse but it was so good. He was burning and aching all over. He felt like a wreck of a human being. And there was no other place he would rather be but with Iruka.

Eyes pulled up to meet his and he died. There was no more air in his lungs but he knew that oxygen wasn't what he needed.

The blush on Iruka's cheeks glowed brighter and suddenly he sat up, leaving Kakashi cold and feeling without.

"We should go and check up on the adults, it's getting pretty late." Iruka gave a nervous laugh as he stood for the car, face still burning from the small peaks Kakashi could see.

"Sure," He said numbly and stood, following Iruka over to the truck.

In the quiet confines, Iruka was already fiddling with his music player in search of a good song. The whole way back, Iruka switched between skipping romantic songs and making small jokes.

"She says she missed him so bad but how can you miss someone you haven't met yet, right? Hah." Iruka even commented, voice cracking.

Although the commentary was still kind of funny, Iruka's inner turmoil was starting to become outer turmoil and Kakashi wondered why. Obviously, something had gone wrong when they were relaxing together but he couldn't tell what. Were they too close? Was Iruka trying to tell him that he just thought of Kakashi as a friend?

That one was what hurt the most. Kakashi knew that he could recover if Iruka just wanted to be friends but he had come to a realisation that would make it a lot more difficult. He would respect Iruka's wishes either way but… The bright, charming young man beside him was… He didn't have words. He couldn't think but he knew what the feeling in his chest was instinctually.

Stepping out of the car, Kakashi watched fondly as Iruka was already hurrying up the front steps before he followed.

As Iruka stepped inside and kicked off his shoes, they both heard as a loud cheer erupted from the living room as music played. Iruka was already looking in, Kakashi kicking off his shoes and looking up to find Iruka slipping away up the stairs. Picking up his confidence, he walked passed the living room where Kushina was making frantic movements.

"Duck!"

"Goose!"

As the other tried to guess her charade, she looked up to see Kakashi and he gave a reassuring wave and smile combo. She nodded back and he turned to follow Iruka's tracks. The sounds of the party below faded away.

The door was unlocked and he found Iruka staring at the writing on his wall, leaning against his bed frame. He watched Kakashi close the door behind him before saying lightly, "Hey."

"Hey," Kakashi said back and Iruka was already busying himself with cleaning the chalkboard and making notes.

Kakashi took the silence as an opportunity to get comfortable, sitting on the edge of Kakashi's bed.

"Why does the only gay guy for miles how to be you?"

Kakashi thought he had imagined what Iruka said after a long period of listening to the echoed of party downstairs. "What was that?"

"I said why do you have to be the only gay guy for miles..." Iruka started off strong before trailing off, his back to Kakashi as he studied the chalk in his hands.

Unsure of where this was going, Kakashi asked sincerely, "What do you mean?"

He was nervous for a second there, confused as his heart tensed. Iruka's shoulders only stiffened. There was a minute where Kakashi watched Iruka grappling with his words. Then Iruka stepped over next to him and sat, the bed dipping.

"Just… You're such a good guy." Iruka started slowly, eyes on his wringing fingers with one still restricted by the cast and Kakashi felt like these were words said on a romantic comedy when people breakup.

He waited as Iruka formulated his words, listening carefully as Iruka slowly voiced his thoughts, "I just… I feel like I'm being selfish."

"Selfish?" Kakashi leaned in closer, Iruka still not looking at him but nodding. "Why do you feel selfish?"

"'Because… I feel like I'm messing things up for you."

In a split decision, Kakashi turned his body. His knee was on the bed to better face Iruka. Iruka's knees were pressed up against his other thigh almost painfully and his hand took Iruka's casted one in his own, holding it as Iruka finally looked up at him in surprise.

"Can't go back now."

Iruka's hand held his back, a sign that eased the tension in Kakashi's chest and made room for the rolling heat. Losing his thoughts to its intensity, their faces drew closer, pulled together like magnets until noses touched. The shiver that would've ran right through his whole body instead powered his free hand, moving it to graze the skin of Iruka's jaw lightly.

"Kakashi." Iruka breathed against his lips and he felt a hand on his thigh. There was only the thumping in his ears after that as his nose lightly drew down the side of Iruka's, feeling the smooth skin of Iruka's cheek under his thumb as it climbed towards Iruka's ear. He was warm and that was the last thought in his mind before his lips grazed skin that was much different from the rest of Iruka's face.

The tender kiss lasted until Kakashi remembered that he could breathe again, pulling away with muffled, quiet gasps. His whole body was humming in excitement and he didn't know whether any of it was good or bad to Iruka but it didn't take long to find out.

A nose bumped into his and Kakashi didn't expect Iruka to press into him, kissing him back with an intensity that quelled any fears Kakashi had. Hands were sliding up his chest as their mouths fit into each other and slowly pressed their own limits, exploring and feeding on whatever they could find eagerly. Kakashi could only feel himself getting lost in Iruka, his last cognitive thought directing his hands to Iruka's waist and pulling them together.

"Kakashi!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies and happy new year!  
> Hope you guys are having happy holidays all around. Sorry for the delay on this chapter, it took a bit to get it on paper through all the business.  
> I wrote over a hundred thousand words in 2018 and this chapter marks the start of the new year so I made it a bit longer  
> Gave you guys a little bit of fluff and confusion before... Well, before everything gets a bit crazy ;)  
> Hope you liked this chapter!  
> See you next week (hopefully) and don't forget to sign up for the Happy Birthday Iruka! 2019 fest by the amazing Pastles! Join us!
> 
>  
> 
> next chap is already written but... should I upload it earlyyyyy?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be a bit different.  
> You'll see it's a lot longer and that there are breaks between some sections. So, hopefully it's easy to understand!

Immediately, they both froze. In a split second, there was noise of general panic between them and they quickly pulled apart before the bedroom door roughly flew open.

“Kakashi,” Tsunade pressed against the doorway, faced flushed from liquor. She whined, “Kakashi. We need to go home but we can’t drive.”

“Ahn,” Kakashi robotically responded and hurried to usher her out of the room. They were downstairs putting on their shoes with Minato completely unconscious on the couch when Iruka followed him down, their faces still burning brightly when their eyes met.

Kushina very obviously did notice from where she was holding her stomach by the door, watching them closely as Kakashi politely excused the older adults out to the truck but never mentioned it. She simply smiled and waved, “Drive safe!”

Out into the fresh night air, Kakashi still wasn’t in his own body yet. He looked back to find a familiar pregnant woman waving at them with Iruka’s trademark ponytail by her side.

He really didn’t want to leave but Tsunade was already in the passenger’s seat and whining about home while Jiraiya was chuckling deeply in the back.

Face still on fire, he gave a wave back and drove the very short distance home, leaving Tsunade’s car for them to get in the morning.

He had the brain power to lock the truck and the front door once they were inside but the rest was a blur of helping Tsunade to bed and making sure Jiraiya was good in the guest room. Left to his own devices, he dropped onto his bed with a heaving sigh that let loose all tension. Replaced by the happy burn, he couldn’t help but smile his mouth off. For the first time in days, he felt good and he couldn’t stop thinking of the boy next door and his soft lips.

Even sleeping didn’t stop his thoughts from drifting back over and over again to the cheeky neighbour with the cute smile.

It was already late into the day by the time Tsunade got out of bed and was nursing a cup of coffee when he found Kakashi sitting in his usual spot in the living room, staring at nothing.

“What’s up with you?” She snapped him out of his empty thoughts and back to reality.

“Hm,” Was his only response and she sighed, wandering back to the kitchen.

“You’re going to have to drive me over to the neighbours later,” She called back to him.

“Sure,” He agreed, a thrill running through him at the possibilities ahead. And all his mind was thinking of was obviously Iruka.

Tsunade seemed to pick up on the aloof aura coming from him that was very much different from his normal aloof aura. It was like watching a sloth just get… Slower.

She watched his demeanor grow excited as they drove next door and the hard fall it took when Kushina answered the door and said, “Ahn, they went out to get groceries. Want to come in for a snack?”

“I have to be at work but Kakashi sure can,” Tsunade slapped the tall teen on the back and Kakashi seemed to register how she had seen right through him. It only took a raise of her brows as she thanked and said goodbye to Kushina, “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Come on in,” Kushina ushered him in and she made him a cup of lemonade, bringing him a snack.

“Last night sounded fun,” He commented and her grinning back.

“Oh man, it was. The others drank so much though. I’m surprised Tsunade is even standing right now.” She sipped and he chuckled.

“Yeah, she’s got a really hardy liver.”

“Minato on the other hand,” She sang and she talked about how her partner was never a drinker. There was a time when she challenged him to a drinking match before they dated and she had completely swamped him. Kakashi in turn told her a few fun stories about Tsunade’s love affair with liquor. He wasn’t bothered at all by the fact that Iruka was out at the moment. Kushina was such a nice person and always had something interesting to say. She was such a contrast to his godmother, the strongest person he knew. There was something about her that radiated mother and goodness.

He knew that she knew what had gone on last night and yet she was acting as though nothing had happened. It was just Kushina being Kushina with a smidge of pregnancy complaints here and there.

“God, my back is never going to recover.” She whined as she went for the bathroom and he offered to help her but she declined. “Don’t worry, I’ll call you if I need any help.”

She waddled off in her slow penguin way to the small bathroom near the entrance, leaving Kakashi alone in the kitchen. The television was softly echoing from the living room and the ticking of the clock behind him had him at ease. As relaxed as he was though, the situation felt very familiar. Staring at the chair across from him, he found that this wasn’t the first time someone had sat in this chair with their focus across the table.

Iruka had done the same thing a few times back when he had thought his soul walking had been dreams. Sitting in that same seat, Iruka had spoken to someone that he had never seen.

He wondered what kind of spirit it was.

And it was as his eyes focused into the spiritual plane that things happened in a blur.

The toilet of the bathroom flushed and he had been turning on his terminator vision as he glanced to the door. Out of the corner of his eye, there was movement that was too familiar and he snapped to look as Kushina walked in.

“Ahn, that’s much better.” She sighed and sat across from him, walking into his vision.

His face went immediately pale, seeing something he never expected to see and Kushina noticed.

“Kakashi?”

From her soft, warm skin, there was a red glow that seeped from every pore of her being and into the air around her. It shifted and bubbled like lava but was nothing warm at all. It felt unforgivingly cold and angry. There was a heaving, shivering wall of pure hate just constantly rolling around her and it was nothing like he had ever seen before.

It reminded him of the shadow, the thing that followed them. It suddenly made so much sense why it followed Kushina and wanted her energy. He feared whatever it would do if it got a hold of Kushina and this gigantic power. And between these two radiating points of energy was just Iruka.

“Kakashi?” She asked again and he stood.

“I think I forgot something at home,” He quickly said before hurrying out towards the door, almost slamming his shoulder into the doorway on his way.

“Okay,” She called weakly after him and he felt a moment of guilt as he slammed his feet into his shoes.

“I’ll bring you a treat later!” He called out along the way and she seemed to be good with that.

“Be careful on the roads!”

With his head whirling and his thoughts running a million miles an hour, he jogged to the truck and quickly backed out. He didn’t know where he was going at first. He was mainly thinking of her last words that followed him; be careful on the roads. She didn’t know that he knew about Jiraiya’s premonitions but he remembered what Iruka had said about the car being on fire.

When he was back home, he didn’t know until he walked into the guest room that he was looking for Jiraiya. The home was completely empty though. He couldn’t just stay at home though. He was too anxious. What… What energy did Kushina have? That was not what Iruka looked like at all. He didn’t even remember what Iruka’s aura looked like in comparison.

Thinking of Iruka was calming in some ways but he felt even more worried than before, knowing that Iruka was all that stood between Kushina and the doom that followed her. It made Iruka’s worrying so much more sensible than before.

Groaning and rubbing his face, he sat and took a breather before deciding on what to do next.

And he decided on finding Tsunade or Jiraiya. Maybe they could shed some light on Kushina and what powers she had, the specifics of everything so that maybe he could somehow help. Maybe they could formulate a plan of some sorts. Maybe they already had a plan. He just needed to know and not just for his own sake.

There was only one place Tsunade could be. Well, one place but many locations in that place for that matter. She was working and not that busy, he knew she wasn’t. And yet he couldn’t find her which was probably because she didn’t want to be found, probably from the raging hangover that she was pretending not to be nursing that morning. He knew he well enough that when she wanted to not be found, she wasn’t going to be even in this small town.

He thanked the nurses and was out into the warm air once again.

The weather that had gotten colder had started to warm up again as if it had been trying to trick them that autumn was really coming. Some leaves had begun to fall, a few were waiting for him on the truck’s hood but it didn’t feel like a true sign that winter was coming.

He sat there for a bit in the parking lot, thinking of everything as a whole and how upside down everything was since the summer break. He didn’t hate it. He just wished he had more time to process everything. There was so much he wanted to know and talk about; how Tsunade got involved with all this, Jiraiya being a prophet, how Kushina had that energy in her and what it even was.

Damn, was he tired though. He was a mess of a human.

He could really just take a nap in the backseat and forget he was even alive at that point, all this worrying had him exhausted.

Instead of being a baby though, he cranked on the engine and headed out to maybe catch a glimpse of the one person in town who drew him in and calmed him the most.

Sadly, he didn’t spy Minato’s car in the parking lot of the grocery store or the pharmacy. It felt like he had just wasted time instead of doing the more important things. He felt kind of all over the place.

Even though he so nervously wanted to just hang out with Iruka, he had talk to someone who wasn’t Kushina about her condition. It didn’t feel right asking her about it. He didn’t know what the story was and didn’t want to pry. It seemed like they wanted to keep it a secret and hadn’t ever given Kakashi any information before.

On the other hand, he was a curious person at heart and wanted to know.

With a heavy heart and worn body, he fessed up and called Tsunade.

Almost immediately she answered as he expected.

“What’s up?” There wasn’t a shred of doubt in her voice and he felt guilty for playing this card.

“Heyyy…” He started off slowly, almost forgetting how to talk to people on the phone. “I was kinda looking for Jiraiya, do you know where he is?”

One frustrated sigh later and she snapped, “You called me for the first time in years just to ask about that pervert?”

“Yes, or if you’re not busy...” He said meekly.

“I don’t have time for this.” And then she hung up.

The car was quiet for a minute as he waited. Finally, his phone vibrated and her guilty text popped up, saying that Jiraiya was at the library.

And he most definitely had time for that.

With newfound energy, he headed through the small town to the other side of town towards a place that had been closed during that had been closed during the summer and one that he used to frequent almost every day of elementary school. He’d been so busy thinking about high school and the drama as he got older that he’d stopped going. By the time he was in high school, he was over the drama but would only ever go once in a blue moon since it was out of the way of everything else. He hadn’t even gone that far North of the city in weeks.

Just passing Hamura’s statue, he pulled into the crumbling parking lot of the old library. Stepping up the old stone steps and passing under familiar red brick, the smell of moth balls and old books hit him. It never got old though.

At the front desk, a very tired looking Nara barely looked up at him before falling back into his chair.

“Hey, stranger” Was the greeting and Kakashi nodded back.

“How’s it going?” He asked politely, knowing that Shikaku had never looked this tired in all the years Kakashi had been passing through the library.

“Well, if you call sleep deprived good then I’m good.” The new father smirked and said fondly, “Wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”

“Congratulations,” Kakashi shook his hand and motioned to the aisles of books. “I’ll be over there.”

“And I’ll be here. Shout if you need anything.” Shikaku nodded and went back to closing his eyes as Kakashi stepped through row after row of books old and… Well, there weren’t many new ones but there were some less older ones.

He didn’t know where he would find Jiraiya or why he would be here but eventually he circled through into the archives at the back and found the older man hunched over stacks of papers with a pair of reading glasses on. Looking up from the table, Jiraiya greeted, “Hey, fancy meeting you here.”

“I could say the same to you,” Kakashi said as he pulled out the old wooden chair across from the older man. Scanning the pages, they were mostly about the very annals of Konoha’s history. There were construction permits from over a hundred years ago and all sorts of tax records that dated back over hundreds of years.

“If you want to know more about Konoha’s history, we’ve got a fair happening Monday.” He commented. “There’s gonna be a whole show about the October First Feast. I think there’s even going to be a Ferris wheel.”

Jiraiya simply hummed and muttered, “If only that was all I was looking for.”

“What are you looking for?”

Folding up his glasses, Jiraiya sighed, “Estate documents actually. Things that the old Uzumakis would’ve left behind about what they would’ve used to seal up uh…”

They both looked towards the end of the aisle, listening and waiting to hear noise of other people but hearing none.

“Sealing up energy?” Kakashi provided and Jiraiya looked at him for a minute, studying him.

“Yeah.” He said after a minute. “Say kid, what exactly do you know about… Well, the stuff that’s going on?”

“A bit.” It was the truthfully and Jiraiya nodded.

“Good. The less you know the better.”

And that was not what Kakashi had been expecting or wanting to hear. It was actually quite the opposite. So, he started slowly, “Jiraiya. I… Feel that I would be better prepared if… Maybe I had a bit of insight about this energy that we’re protecting.”

Unexpectedly and with a lot of balls, Jiraiya stared him dead in the eyes until Kakashi felt like he was being interrogated by a police officer.

“Well,” The old man finally started, putting papers back in order as he stared Kakashi down. “It’s a part of Kushina that is being transferred down to her child.”

“As I guessed.”

The dodging Jiraiya was doing was getting annoying but Kakashi knew that information was negotiable. It was just a matter of time before Jiraiya cracked especially since Kakashi had a last resort that would be the ultimate guilt trip. He hoped it wouldn’t have to come to that though.

“You’re a smart kid, Kakashi.” Jiraiya said abruptly with sincerity as he stood. It took him aback and gave Jiraiya enough time to grab the papers in hand, put them back in one of the filing cabinets and head out the front door.

Following him out, they weren’t noticed by the sleeping Shikaku. In the afternoon sun, Jiraiya asked, “Can I get a ride back?”

“Sure,” Kakashi agreed with the slim hope that Jiraiya would eventually concede. It was only after they had driven a few blocks back into Konoha limits that he asked directly, “So, what is it?”

There was quiet for a long time after that. Jiraiya sat staring out his window for the longest time and Kakashi thought that his question had been useless up until he heard, “It’s a demon.”

What?

Had he heard right?

Apparently, he did because Jiraiya didn’t try to explain any of it.

He didn’t smile or pull any jokes like he normally would. His complete seriousness told so much and Kakashi didn’t know how to process what he had heard for a second.

Finally, he couldn't take the way his mind was racing in too many directions. Pulling over onto the side of the dirt road, Jiraiya sighed again but Kakashi was already shifting into park.

“Why?” Was all he could ask in utter confusion at everything. Why would Kushina have the energy of a demon? Why could they be possibly protecting her? As much as he cared about her, he seriously questioned why she had it to begin with.

“It's a family thing.” Jiraiya muttered, looking just as haggard as Kakashi felt. “Passed down from generation to generation.”

“I understand that.” He genuinely did. That was the easiest part. What he didn't get was why it was a family thing to begin with. “But why?”

“It’s… A long, long story that I don’t know most of.” Jiraiya said as he turned to Kakashi with his arm on the window behind him as if trying to hold himself steady in his own mind. With the engine’s steady hum as the only noise around them, he strictly told Kakashi, “It’s not my place to tell. Kushina and Minato have already decided to keep you kids as far away as possible. I know that you might have heard things about me and the things that I can see but the reason I’m here is to help. And the only way I can do that is by trying to keep everyone calm. You’ve seen her. You know the power Kushina keeps. I’m sure you can guess what would happen if that power fell into her hands.”

A quiet minute passed where they were both trying to find words to say but Jiraiya said something that stayed with him as they drove back to the house.

“I know you want to protect Iruka.” And that was a big truth Kakashi didn’t even know about himself. “But you can’t protect him, Kakashi.”

“He thinks he’s going to die.” He couldn’t help but say along the way.

But Jiraiya didn’t respond which felt like it meant nothing good. It was only when they got back to the house that Jiraiya said as he stepped out of the truck, “Just focus on yourself.”

The older man headed into the house but Kakashi was stunned into silence by the grim warning. They were words that confirmed the things Iruka had told him, about the future and how Kakashi had died in one of his visions. It was Jiraiya’s tough love attitude and his unusual serious tone that left him empty.

Gripping the steering wheel hard, it felt like everything was slipping out of his control. There were so many things he still wanted to know, people he wanted to spend time with but it felt like he was being warned against them all.

A flare of the feelings from the night before burned in his chest, the longing that wanted him to disregard all of the warnings. But his mind knew that it was a rash decision, that everyone doing the warning had good reasons even though it hurt.

This sucked.

* * *

 

Surrounded by white walls and tightknit, linoleum tiles, Iruka sat in one of the surprisingly comfortable chairs next to the doctor’s office. Every so often, a nurse would walk by in their uniform scrubs and give him a casual smile that he returned when he wasn’t staring into the open space.

It smelled like bleach and cleaning supplies but not as much as the other halls he’d walked through to get there. The usual hospital didn’t bother him much. It was something he’d grown used to after all the times he’d hurt himself as a kid, accidental or not.

A figure stepped around a corner further down the hall and waved to him as she approached. Tsunade offered him a warm smile, file in had and her white coat covering pale green scrubs.

“Just you, huh?” She nodded for him to follow and they made their way down the shiny clean halls.

“Yeah, Minato had to get back to work.” He remembered their serene morning after Minato had declared he’d called the morning off. Their bright smiles had been worth everything.

“Good, good.” Tsunade said conversationally as they passed by a set of nurses. “How’s the wrist?”

“Feels okay.” He said.

“And? How’s the pain?” She pressed and he knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy in and out process like he was hoping.

“Still kinda hurts but the medication is working.” He supplied but she kept asking questions and he felt even more reluctant with every step they took. In the short time it took to get to the examination room, he had gone from being nonchalant to wanting to go home.

And she could see right through his bull. As soon as she shut the door, she turned to him and quietly asked, “How are you really, Iruka?”

Not knowing how to answer, he shifted on his feet but her concern and the immense change in her attitude from hard doctor to caring mother figure had him cracking at the edges.

But he didn’t want her to know how weak he was. So, he pulled on his polite smile and said with a slight crack, “I’m fine.”

Her eyes lingered on him for a moment before she let it go and got back to business, “Well, go ahead and sit down.”

After the loud crackling of the exam table paper, the room went quiet except for movements Tsunade made after taking Iruka’s casted wrist. With slow and steady movements, she examined him and eventually concluded in her mind before looking up to his head and asking as she reached up to brush aside his hair, “Any bleeding up here?”

“None.” He muttered, titling his head so she could look at the side the doctors in the town over had shaved down to stitch up. Her fingers were gently prodding at his skin and it wasn’t as intrusive as he had imagined it to be. It was almost soothing to have someone touch his head with so much care. It reminded him of someone else’s hand and the memory of fingers brushing the skin of his ear.

He had to not think of that, especially not when things were such a mess and definitely not with Tsunade so close to his face.

“I think these are good to go.” She mused, moving over to the cupboards. “If you have time, we can take them out right now. The cast will have to stay a few more weeks.”

Feeling the side of his own head and the bumpy stitching, he nodded, “Sure.”

With her back turned, she took Iruka completely off guard. “So, why did you do it?”

And then there was complete silence. And it gripped Iruka’s insides deeply, bringing back things he didn’t want to think about.

He knew she wasn’t talking about anything recent. It was about why he had to get himself involved in all this crazy mess.

But he didn’t really have an answer for her. That was because he didn’t really know why.

“If you’re asking about the binding, I don’t have an answer for you,” He slowly said. She turned to him again and he knew that she had made this appointment for this reason. Her eyes demanded answers and she seemed troubled with his lack of them.

“You saw what it was,” She reasoned. “What would possess you to willingly give up your entire life for them?”

None of it made sense from her point of view and he knew that. It just made him feel worse though. He felt like an idiot but he knew that there hadn’t been another choice for him.

“It just happened,” He said weakly, not knowing what else to say but she still waited for him to speak. “I didn’t… I just wanted them to be happy, at least until I was gone.”

He’d just wanted someone else to be happy since he couldn’t be at the time. Everything he’d been going through over the past few years were bubbling up even though he tried to push them down. They’d did something good for him and he’d wanted to return the favour. There were tears brimming as he remembered Kushina’s face when he’d walked in on her and the pregnancy test, the sound of her and Minato’s muffled sobs in the bedroom next to his, the pure terror on their faces the next morning when the shadows around them formed into a solid mass.

“I…” His voice caught in his throat.

On the other side of the room, Tsunade asked quietly, “Did you want to die?”

And he felt like he’d been caught red handed. He couldn’t reply or move until Tsunade stepped over and did the unexpected. She simply hugged him and suddenly tears were spilling down his cheeks. Holding back a sob, the horrible pain that had been stamped down by fear and worry was brought back to life after being soothed to sleep from all the warmth he’d found; Kakashi, Minato, Kushina.

He’d only ever cried in front of a few people since he mom died and he never imagined that Tsunade would be the one to break him. The way she knew how to break people open with just her eyes and her radical change of behaviour from harsh to empathetic completely tore his outer walls to pieces.

“I know.” She would softly say, rubbing his back. “It hasn’t been easy for you.”

It was only after he’d sniffed away the last of the tears that she pulled away and went for tissues.

“The smartest guy I know once said that the best medicine to pain was company.” She said sadly after a minute.

The hurt was suddenly lessened and Iruka couldn’t explain why. He wanted to ask her who said that but she had already turned away and was pulling out things she would need to take out his stitches.

“So,” She continued as she tilted his head again and started working on his healed gash. “Just remember that you’re in good company. That you have us.”

A calm fell over them, numbing and comforting. There was a weight lifted despite the weird feeling on the side of his head and he mumbled to her through the curtain of his hair, “Thank you, Tsunade.”

The walk back home kept him in that light state and he found that he had a decision to make.

After what had happened last night, he was in a situation that he had never even dreamed of.

The smart and good-looking guy next door who had been in the closet before they’d gotten closer had made a move on him. It was the strangest and most disturbing thing ever but not in a bad way, not because he hated it. No, Iruka was over the moon and never dreamed that the guy he liked would ever want him back.

The whole situation would’ve been a lot better if Kakashi only wanted him for his body to experiment on. Sure, it would’ve torn Iruka to pieces but at least Kakashi would have been safe and he wouldn’t have been as invested in Iruka. Maybe they would be able to get over each other easier if something happened, when something happened. But Iruka could see through Kakashi instantly and tell that it wasn’t just a physical thing. And he could tell because no one had ever reciprocated his feelings before. He knew what it was like to get hit on by a teen who wanted to be his ‘first’ and never once knew what someone genuinely liking him felt like until Kakashi.

That had been his first kiss.

He hadn’t thought of that until now. Shit, he couldn’t even complain that it was bad. How did a country boy with no prior experience learn to make his toes tingle with just a kiss? Maybe it was just him. Maybe it was because he wasn’t expecting it. He didn’t know. He didn’t know what to do now.

What was he supposed to do in a normal situation anyway? Would normal people just be dating after that? Were there other steps that one would take to become someone else’s boyfriend? Should he go and ask?

No, wait, he couldn’t do that. At least, not now he couldn’t. There was so much else on his plate.

And the prophecies.

That was a sobering thought.

He couldn’t risk getting Kakashi killed just because they had a potential thing. There was much more at stake than just his feelings. But the depressive thoughts weren’t as oppressive now that he wasn’t freaking out internally that Kakashi liking him was going to get him killed. Tsunade had momentarily quelled those fears that had been built up from years of watching people pass away. It was refreshing to have cried a little from it too.

He knew Tsunade wouldn’t tell the secret he’d shared with her about why he’d put himself in this situation. She was a good person and it felt good to not keep that heavy truth to just himself. It helped.

Besides, it was nice to know how love felt even if it would probably be for only days or weeks.

It did make him feel very giggly inside.

But when he got home, things took a turn and he had to come to the realisation that he couldn’t indulge himself or be selfish anymore.

It was over an hour later when he got back home and Minato’s car being gone meant school was still in session and Kushina was still home alone. Letting himself in, he called out into the quiet home with just a little worry, “Kushina?”

There was a loud crash from the kitchen and he hurried in, seeing the soon to be mother surrounded by glass shards with wide eyes.

“Iruka! You scared me.” She gasped and tried to shift but Iruka called out to her.

“Don’t! You’ll hurt yourself!” Quickly, he ran for the vacuum and a bag to clean up the mess before she could get cut. By the time he got back, she was already trying to lean down to help. He couldn’t help but scold, “Kushina.”

Within a few minutes, he had sucked up most of the mess around her until there was enough space for her to hop away. Grumbling to himself, he cleaned up her mess as she reasoned her way out, “It just sort of slipped.”

“At least you didn’t get hurt,” He hummed as he switched the vacuum off, dragging it back out into the hallway closet. When he got back was when he noticed a huge shard of glass right by her seat and went to pick it up.

“Missed one.” He said but his hand never touched the piece. As if hitting a window, his finger bumped and were pressed in by his own movement. They both paused and the house went deadly quiet for a second. It took his a second to process what was in front of him. Moving his hand back, he tested the air and just as before, his fingers hit air. Like pressing his hand to a curved window within a specific area, his palm flattened against an invisible wall.

When he looked past his own hand at Kushina, she was looking pale and guilty. She pursed her lips and looked at the ground. “It’s just a precaution.”

Her reasoning was right but… It still hurt.

He hadn’t noticed before and figured that she would’ve done the spell sometime recently, maybe even last night. It was a conjuration he knew well. They had decided on using it in the beginning that he’d been bound, when he didn’t know the timing of everything. It was a spell to specifically keep him out.

Instead of showing how he felt, he nodded and busied himself making a glass of water but Kushina could tell that he was closing himself off intentionally. Behind him, the sounds of her leaving the room creaked by and he only deflated once she was gone.

Dropping down into the other seat, he ran his hands over his face and sighed. If Kushina thought it was better this way than it was, he couldn’t blame her for being cautious. But it reminded him that he had to be more careful. And he decided that he would be.

A soft sound across from him made him look up. The piece of glass he had meant to pick up was floating up through the air onto the table in front of him and it didn’t take him long to figure out who it was.

“Thanks.” He said softly to the ghost boy in front of him.

“No problem.” The boy with dark hair nodded, brushing past Iruka into thin air.

* * *

 

Kakashi was at the kitchen table when Tsunade came back from work. Under the bright kitchen light, he was thumbing his phone and distracting himself from reality but Tsunade made herself known with a loud groan.

“I’m too tired to cook.” She pouted but Kakashi knew she was hoping he’d step up to the challenge.

He simply hummed to her annoyance. This was one battle she wouldn’t win though and decided to give it up with, “Fine, let’s order pizza.”

And they did, both their favourites in an extra large that Kakashi wolfed down half of. They ate in silence until Tsunade brought up, “So, I was thinking that it would be a good time to look at the next step.”

“The Next step?”

“Yes. As in, universities, colleges or maybe a job.” She suggested but it was the last comment that made the big hint as to what she meant. “Maybe in the city.”

He must have made a face because she quickly backed it up with, “I know that this town probably won’t be a good fit for you. It’s small and weird and people here are very close-minded.”

“I know.” He quickly said.

“I just want you to try new things and meet new people.”

But he was already nodding, knowing that she was right. “I’ve been thinking about it a bit.”

“You have?” She brightened. “Are there any programs or schools that you’ve been thinking of?”

“Not… Really.” He admitted but she was already out of the room to his surprise. A few seconds later, she came back down the hall with her bag and was pulling out different print outs and pamphlets that all had happy-looking young people on them with books in hand. Laying them out on the table, he was in awe that she had done all of this for him and slowly picked one up as she explained in military fashion, “If you’re thinking of Kuma, there are a few really good schools there with some nice programs that I heard about when I was there. There are even some I’ve never heard of that sound pretty cool.”

She went on a bit about programs and schools, talking about ones she preferred when she was there and different things he had to keep in mind when applying like grades and references. Apparently, there were even some programs that he could take part-time if he wanted to maybe find a job or something. When he looked at the backs of them though, his heart dropped at the prices. He’d known they were expensive but not that expensive.

“Damn,” He whispered under his breath, catching Tsunade’s attention.

He was thinking of how he would even get a loan when she said slowly, “Money won’t be an issue.”

“What?”

She didn’t meet his eyes at first and said, “Before you were born, your parents started a savings account for you and your father put most of his retirement funds into it. In his will, it states that the money in there is yours when you finish high school. So, if you want to go to school, it’ll cover over half the fees. If not, you can do whatever you want with it.”

Stunned into silence, Kakashi didn’t know what to say or do it was only when Tsunade made a side comment quietly that he stood. “Not to mention the money I put aside for you.”

He was on his feet and hugging her hard.

Taken completely aback, Tsunade wondered when the last time he initiated a hug was.

The rest of the night was spent over the kitchen table discussing programs and classes he liked, different schools and maybe even attending an information session in Kuma. Night came quick and Kakashi was laying in bed, reading about aboriginal studies. He had the grades for anything he wanted really. He knew that was a luxury and not many other students did but he was still at a loss.

Would he even make it to the new year?

He didn’t know if being around Iruka meant that he would die but it sure sounded like that from Jiraiya’s talk. Even though he hoped that wasn’t true, there were things happening he couldn’t stop.

Laying in bed with his phone in hand, he decided to forget about the world for just one night and lose himself down the internet’s wild roads.

Hours later, he was fast asleep and dreaming.

Standing in the kitchen, he felt like he was still awake. The pamphlets were still spread out on the table in misshapen clusters. Their pizza box was half-open on the counter but empty. He reached for a chair to sit but his hand went straight through it.

There was something he was here for. He didn’t know what but he was out of his body somehow. This time, it felt like there was a reason for it. All the other times, he hadn’t noticed it but there was something pulsing in the air. Moving through the halls without using his legs, it kept getting stronger, coming from one door in particular and he slipped into the guest bedroom without resistance from the door.

A soft glow hit him first. It was startling to see someone waiting there for you, eyes staring straight at you from the guest bed but it was even more shocking to find Jiraiya’s eyes open wide and pulsing with light.

Stepping in closer, Kakashi could see that the other man wasn’t moving from the edge of the bed or even seem to notice that Kakashi was there. That would have been normal since he wasn’t visible to the human eye at that moment and didn’t want to be seen but the old man was in a sort of trance. Lips moving vaguely, it was like he was dreaming with his eyes open and his pupils glowing white.

He felt drawn to that light like a moth and couldn’t help himself from reaching out and touching Jiraiya’s shoulder.

There was a ripple and the world around him changed. It was just a brief moment but he was suddenly standing next to Jiraiya, watching a chaotic scene in front of them.

They were in the Uzumaki’s living room or at least what was left of it. The walls were up in flames and there was smoke hanging onto the ceiling. As everything burned around them, they saw four figures in the flickering middle. Outlined by fire and breathing deeply, Kushina was gripping Tsunade’s arms as blood dripped down her legs from under her dress. Her eyes were screwed shut but Tsunade was glancing in controlled panic from the haggard Minato standing in front of them and the figure he was protecting them from.

From far across the room, an ash-covered Iruka stood eerily straight with his eyes filmed over in white.

“Iruka!” Minato called but the body of Iruka pulled a frighteningly wide grin that was far from human.

“Iruka’s not here right now.” A cracked voice uttered that was in no way Iruka’s.

There was a pulse of energy from the teenager that rocked the room and Kakashi was thrown through a wall.

Looking up, he found himself staring at the guest window of his own home and quickly melted back into the room to find Jiraiya on the floor and panting. It took him seconds to sprint out of the house and onto the front porch, Kakashi following closely to see what he’d do.

But Jiraiya stood at the edge that faced the woods between them and the Uzumakis, watching the treeline and listening. There wasn’t a sound to be heard though.

Instead of sticking around, Kakashi moved through the porch and trees, thinking of the living room he had just seen in flames and his spirit quickly shot through the trees and into that space. To his relief, the room was completely untouched and normal. It dawned on him though that he hadn’t driven Iruka out as per their routine.

At the thought of the other teen, his body moved through the walls until he was back outside. To his surprise, it dragged him right where he wanted to be.

In the dark forest just beyond his backyard, Iruka was standing with the guidebook in hand, muttering under his breath. After a few moments, the words stopped.

“Fuck.” He heard Iruka sigh, flipping through the book in mild frustration.

Iruka looked through a few pages before settling on one, mumbling to himself, “Come on, an easy one.”

Without knowing what this was supposed to accomplish, Kakashi watched in awe as miniscule flowers started blooming under Iruka’s feet quickly.

Snapping the book shut, Iruka retorted to the ground, “A gay who can summon flowers but not a protection circle, how convenient.”

Kakashi then woke up with the thought of flowers and burning.

Other than Jiraiya still asleep, he was the only one left at home with a text from Tsunade saying she was pulling a shift so she could come to the fair on Monday.

Already well past noon on a Saturday, he didn’t really know what to do. He didn’t want to think about Jiraiya’s vision, the one he’d peeped on. It was because there were too many variables in there that shook him to the core.

He also hadn’t seen himself in it.

And that was the most daunting part.

Needing a distraction from the existential crisis coming on, he found that the best way wasn’t by surfing the internet but by reading. That weird orange book had a way of distracting from problems at hand but it was mainly because Kakashi decided he would deal with the night before when Jiraiya woke up.

“Haru,” Ryuji held the other boy’s chin and sadly whispered, “I’m in love with Aiko.”

“I-I understand, Ryuji.” Haru shook away and wiped delicately at a tear he’d shed. “Because I’ve fallen in love too.”

“Who is it?” The taller boy demanded in a jealous rage.

“It’s… Your sister.”

“Ah, good morning.”

Kakashi quickly snapped the book shut and found Jiraiya standing in the living room doorway, staring at the book in Kakashi’s hands.

“Oh, you like it?”

“Uh… Yeah.”

“Good, glad you liked it.” The wink Jiraiya gave him had so much meaning that Kakashi understood right away.

“Did you… Write it?”

Jiraiya simply nodded from the kitchen, his back still turned as he casually said, “Yep.”

And Kakashi felt like the world got a bit weirder.

“Oh,” he could only say as he stiffly stood and walked out of the front door.

Somehow, he ended up on the neighbour’s front steps with Iruka answering the door.

“Hey,” He said, finding that Iruka looked like a dream. He felt like he was lucky to be alive in that moment, standing across from a bleary-eyed and fluffed teenager. The urge to kiss him again was strong but the he remembered himself.

“Hey,” Iruka had said back but Kakashi was already moving into the house, pulling Iruka in with him.

“Iruka. Iruka.” Was all the could say until he pulled the orange book out of his back pocket.

With a whine, Iruka groaned, “Not that thing again.”

“No, hear me out,” He pleaded but Iruka was already heading for the kitchen.

“Kakashi, please. No porn this early in the morning.”

“It’s like, three in the afternoon!” He argued, holding Iruka’s hand and locking him against the kitchen door frame despite the frustrated glare he got. The glare was kind of cute though.

“I’m not re-enacting anything in that book.” Iruka snapped and threw Kakashi right off the rails, throwing him onto the tracks that Iruka was implying.

“That is not why I brought it.” He argued. “Even though that would maybe be fun.”

The scandalised look Iruka gave him was so worth the comment.

“Do you know who wrote this?” Kakashi demanded, dropping onto the table between them and crossing his arms.

“Aiji Rya.” Iruka read with a tilt of his head, not understanding what Kakashi was getting at.

“Does that sound familiar at all?” He implored, articulating slowly, “Maybe sounds like Jiraiya?”

Watching Iruka’s jaw drop and his whole face go pale was the best thing in the world.

“What????”

“Boys!” Kushina called from upstairs. “Pregnant lady trying to nap here!”

Outside in the grass, they were both going over some of the scenes in both horror and… Well, secretly Kakashi was a little turned on but mostly disgusted.

“I… What if we actually did that in another universe?” Iruka whispered almost to himself, as if afraid to say it. “Like, if there was something that we did in this world that like… Made it so that we didn’t do that?”

“And he saw us doing it like…” Looking inside the first few pages, Kakashi found the year it was copywritten. “Almost twelve years ago. When we were six.”

“Or five.” Iruka reminded and they both shivered.

“So weird.” Kakashi was mystified and completely blown away but was even more blown away when Iruka muttered something across from him.

“Exactly… Why against a tree though? Why not in the grass?”

They both stared at each other for a second until their faces were burning and had to look away, sputtering out laughs.

Boy, did it feel good laughing with Iruka again. It almost made him forget about everything. Almost. But he didn’t bring it up.

“Maybe it was just the setting.” Iruka hopefully suggested.

“Maybe…” Kakashi agreed with mild optimism.

“The stars are so nice at night.”

“They are.”

“Especially out here.”

“Imagine the stars and the northern lights.”

With Iruka’s eyes wide in a way that was so cute, they rolled into conversation about going up north and vacations. It was a normal conversation and they forgot about the world outside. It was only when Kakashi’s phone rang that they realised what time it was and how they’d just fallen back into their routine.

Looking at his phone, he found probably the last person he had been expecting.

“It’s Gai.”

Immediately, Iruka was at attention and they both stared at his phone until it went dark again. They kept staring awkwardly until Kakashi could confirm there wasn’t a message being left on his voicemail or a text coming anytime soon.

The mood fell instantly and they were quiet together, the reminder about real life sobering.

“You should call him back.” Iruka finally said with a seriousness that suggested that this wasn’t just about the phone.

“I should.” He agreed and stood, looking back to see Iruka standing too.

“You should get back. You know, call him back. Or go see him.” Iruka said slowly, a bit of sadness behind his chin that Kakashi felt guilty for, feeling that something was wrong.

This felt like Iruka was pushing him away. It was like that fake smile he remembered Iruka giving him once and there was stab at his chest that rang through him and made him numb.

He wanted to stay, to talk and be together. There was a cold wall between them though that he could almost taste. This was Iruka making a decision for them and it was his turn to answer but he didn’t know how to react. It felt like he was being rejected.

Jiraiya’s vision flashed into his mind and he wanted to say something to Iruka, warn him. But it felt like that wouldn’t make a difference. It was a fate that Iruka was expecting and to tell him would only drive them closer to it.

Iruka was already brushing passed him, moving around the side of the house and Kakashi could only follow. As Iruka climbed the steps up to the porch, it felt like the magnet he had been drawn to this entire time was being ripped from his grasp. It took everything in him to say back, “I’ll see you then.”

He had already looked away and didn’t see the way Iruka hesitated at the top step, the hand to steady himself on one of the white columns. 

He was back to his truck after the long walk away.

Trying to ignore the pain, he thought of Gai. It was unlike Gai to call. If Gai wanted to see him or talk to him, they would already be talking in person. He wanted to know why.

The regret kept showing through though. He wished he wasn’t leaving but Iruka’s back was to him on that top step and it felt like he was being cut off.

Everything felt wrong, as if he had just made a bad decision that he would later regret but he couldn’t go back from it. It was too late in his mind, at that point.

He was already backing out of the driveway.

But Iruka watched from the porch as Kakashi drove away, knowing he’d done the thing with a bit of relief but feeling that he’d just lost the best thing in his life.

All the could do was hope that he’d done the right thing. In that moment, he looked up at the sky and made the quiet wish that everything would be okay.

Down the road, Kakashi pulled into his driveway and hoped that the vision Jiraiya had wasn’t true, that the decision Iruka had made would change the future.

It was a future without him though.

Sunday was a slow day of cleaning, cooking and making desserts from scratch.

After quietly dropping them off on the neighbour’s porch with a short note, he headed out to the grocery store, passing by the elementary school and seeing the rows of tents that were being pitched outside the school. Inside, he knew that the theatre was already set up and ready to go for the high schooler’s re-enactment of the dinner scene that led to half the town dead.

It was the one day of the year that the town would openly talk about its own past problems and it was actually a lot of fun. There were local businesses that came in to sell foods, drinks and clothes. There would often be a ride or two. This year, the Ferris wheel stood just high enough to be seen behind the school from the road.

He didn’t know if he wanted to go though. Gai and everyone else would be there. It would be like walking into a minefield despite wanting to see Iruka. But Iruka didn’t want him around.

In the grocery store, he was musing over seeing Iruka when he heard his name and froze.

“Hey,” He found Anko giving him a soft smile and he realised it had felt like forever since he'd seen her.

There was no one else in their aisle and she seemed to be very quiet about it. “Hey.”

“Did you get my voicemail?” She asked hopefully and Kakashi nodded. “So? Is he okay?”

“Yeah,” He felt like he was kind of lying but no one else needed to know about their unusual problems. “Just really tough being so far out in the country.”

Anko was wringing her hands, a gesture very unlike her and it made Kakashi even more reprehensible about the whole conversation. He couldn't tell if she was being genuine or not. “I bet. There are so many crazies in this town.”

He couldn't remember Anko being a part of the bullying, those horrible words. If she had been, it would've been easy to walk away but, in his situation, friends were few and far between.

With a glance around to see they were alone, she covertly whispered, “I don't know about everyone else but… I think Iruka can like whoever.”

She didn't seem ashamed of her words or that there were any lies. If anything, she seemed afraid of what others would think and that was something Kakashi could relate to.

“You should talk to him yourself.”

Anko didn't automatically get mad like he'd expected. Instead, there was a moment of doubt and struggle from someone who wanted to genuinely be a good person and a friend to someone. With a nod, she asked, “Is he coming to the fair tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. Probably.”

A nod of certainty sealed her decision. “Thank you, Kakashi.”

“How's Gai?”

Her mouth twisted into a frown, “I don't know. Same as usual, I guess.”

This mood was just getting worse and worse. The hope that Gai missed him and still wanted to be his friend was withering away with the feeling that Gai didn’t care if he was gone.

Noticing the look on his face, Anko asked with a sympathetic tone that was normally hidden behind her hard exterior, “How are you, Kakashi?”

Sharing eye contact for a second, he looked down at the ground with a shrug. “Okay, I guess.”

Seemingly unconvinced, she nodded and thought before saying sincerely to him, “Kakashi, did you know that I had a crush on you for the longest time?”

That wasn't a surprise to him and he nodded sadly, knowing that she was implying what she was guessing.

To his surprise, there was a big smile on her face as. “Well, you’ll always be a good friend, Kakashi. No matter who you date.”

Her wink and show of empathy were new to him and so welcome. It almost made him want to break down a little but he held it in and gave her thankful nod.

“Stay cool, big guy,” Playfully hitting his shoulder, she went off down the hall and out of sight.

He finished up groceries with a sense of weightlessness that continued until he was in line to pay. Daydreaming about nothing, he blinked back to find he was staring at the displays by the cash. There was the normal assortment of gum and candies. He wondered if he should bring one to Iruka even though Iruka was trying to push him away. Scanning through them, he couldn't find one the other teen would like and gave up on them until his eyes hit a small section of kids’ toys and jewelry. Nestled between stuffed animals and mini toy trucks, there was a small assortment of slim chalks ranging from black and white to the entire rainbow.

With his bags and the small box of chalks in his pocket, he headed back home to put everything away. Flopping down onto the couch, his legs dangled over the edge and he went limp.

Eyes closed, he tried to push everything that was crushing him down and focus on just relaxing for a minute, just one minute.

He didn’t intentionally mean to fall asleep, it just kind of happened.

And he was suddenly standing in front of Gai in nothing but darkness.

* * *

 

Sitting at his window, Sunday night was oddly quiet for Iruka.

It was like the calm before the storm.

Off the ledge, he tiptoed down the stairs to move through the house and into the kitchen. Sneaking a piece of the sweets that had been left on their porch that morning, he sadly chewed at the kitchen table by himself. It had only been a few hours but he missed Kakashi terribly.

But the quiet night around him promised that things would get better. He was almost hopeful that it was right. Maybe it was because he actually wanted things to get better this time.

Lost in his thoughts, the outline of a person in front of him brought him back to reality and he watched it come into focus. As all the other times, he pushed a piece across the table as an offering that the boy across from him grinned at.

“Gosh, I haven’t seen these in ages.” He commented, staring at the food with loving nostalgia. “He gave me these after stealing my dog.”

“It was an accident,” Iruka provided, remembering what Kakashi had told him what felt like months ago.

“Yeah, I think he was jealous that I had one and he didn’t for the longest time,” Was the spirit’s comment and Iruka chuckled fondly. “Guess that’s what started our great rivalry.”

Watching the partially visible soul, Iruka had wondered for weeks about this boy and what had happened to him. He was good company, witty for a kid and always looking on the positive side unless it was about certain people aka Kakashi. It was never with spite though like some spirits. It felt like playful fighting, childish grudges.

“You know, if you want to use that thing, you’ve got to use your power with it, right?”

Iruka glanced over to where the boy pointed and saw the old, worn book he’d brought down. “I know.”

“Yeah?” He seemed just as confused as Iruka did. “You know that it’s in our body, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your power. It’s in your body, not your soul.” The boy seemed to drift off in thought. “I used to think it was in my soul and I had to reach deep down to get it but now that I’m dead I know that you have to feel it in your body.”

Going over to the counter and paging open the book, Iruka explained, “I know that but I can’t seem to get a hold of a few. I can do most but some of these I just can’t do. It’s like there’s a wall I can’t get through.”

He and the boy sat there for a long time, looking over pages and talking logistics until he was by himself again. The soul had drifted off until Iruka was alone again, thinking to himself that he felt like a broken tool. His emotions could summon storms and break pipes but he couldn’t harness his energy to actually do helpful things. He could at least feel the people nearby. Minato and Kushina’s energies were pulsing with their every breath above him.

Further away, he could feel three twinkling souls like stars in the sky and knew that two of them were Jiraiya and Tsunade. The other one was Kakashi’s, fluttering like a butterfly but still as bright as the first day he’d moved into this house. From the start, Kakashi had always been a beacon humming in the distance. Now, his soul was the clearest of them all. It was a testament to his power and the way it rested within his soul unlike Iruka.

Stepping out into the cool night air for a few moments, he wondered when she would come for him, if he would have the power to get away from her and if she was watching him at that moment. The treeline was just trees. The grass undisturbed since Kakashi had left. He hadn’t seen her since and it made him worry, as if her absence meant she was hiding away and growing stronger if spirits even could.

He didn’t know what the next few weeks would hold. Kushina was set to give birth towards the end of October. He at least had a few weeks. But Kakashi would be safe even if the distance hurt. The break from each other today had been helpful.

As much as he wanted to be near, he knew that it was for the best.

With that thought rolling around in his mind, he went upstairs to sleep.

“Iruka!” A knock snapped him awake and Minato had already pulled open the door without waiting for an answer. His bright eyes grinned at him, “Hey, sleepyhead. Time to head out.”

Wondering what he meant, it took a minute to remember that it was Monday. Springing out of bed and throwing on a pair of jeans, Kushina and Minato had food already made and ready for him downstairs.

In Minato’s car, Kushina read through an article in the paper that talked about the stalls and the different things happening. With an expectant smile, she asked Minato, “Come on the Ferris wheel with me?”

“Of course.” Iruka was already looking away, feeling awkward at watching them share a kiss no matter how quick but Kushina had turned to look back at him.

“They have a play at three. Do you want to meet us at the entrance and we can watch it together? Maybe after we can find something to eat?”

He hesitantly answered her pleading eyes, “Sure.”

Kushina held her eyes on him for a moment, studying him until she fell into a smile and went back to holding Minato’s hands.

They found a parking spot in the primary school lot. Never having been to an elementary school this small, Iruka was in awe just as he had been when he first walked into the high school that wasn’t terribly far. The walls there a faint beige colour, the pipes newer and the tiles were kept pristine.

Walking through the school and out through the other end, the trio found themselves surrounded by people and kids who were all talking and laughing as music echoed loudly from a band that was playing outside. The flat greens of the school yard had been outfitted with small tents and stalls that people were milling through and he saw up ahead a group of familiar teenagers that he really didn’t want to see.

“I’ll see you guys later,” He quickly said before slipping through booths into another aisle.

Behind him, he heard Minato calling out, “Three o’clock!”

He was long gone though, zig zagging through stalls and getting himself lost until he found the source of the music. A group of old-timey dressed drummers and violinists were playing a happy beat that was so easy to dance to that townsfolk had started to dance in circles that looked very choreographed but spontaneous at the same time. He spent many minutes watching them and the people milling by, hoping he would see a familiar spark of hair but telling himself not to think about that.

The world decided though to send him a teen as tall as him with purple tones and dark eyes that could reach into your very soul. With the same confidence that she’d had when she first introduced herself, Anko took his surprised wrist, “Can I talk to you, Iruka? In private?”

Tugged through crowds and back into the elementary school, they found an empty kindergarten classroom. Across from him, Anko was as confident and steely as ever with her no-shit-taking stare but that facade slowly faded and he was standing in front of a girl who looked genuinely concerned and worried.

“I’m sorry.” She said but her speech didn’t end there no matter how surprised he was. “I know this can’t be easy for you, a new school and new people. I can’t speak for everyone when I say this but I do mean it from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry that there are people in this town who have treated you badly and that some of these people are my friends.”

She didn’t speak for a moment but Iruka had met enough people from his old school and the city he lived in to know she was being truthful.

“Thank you.” He started off with but continued with the hard truth. “But me being gay isn’t going to change. Things won’t change if I come back to school. They’ll still call me names behind my back and they won’t stop unless someone they know helps them.”

“I know. I’m going to try.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat by the door caught them by surprise. In the doorway, with his brows furrowed and looking generally upset, Gai was holding the door just open enough to come in before shutting the door behind him.

“Sorry to intrude.” Gai was uncharacteristically quiet and serious but he didn’t look away from Iruka.

Even Anko was off put by the tension between them. “Gai?”

“I’m sorry too, Iruka.” Gai said in a clear and calm tone as he bowed his head. “I of all people should have stood up for you when you needed a friend the most. Kakashi was always the bigger man than I. I would hope you’d allow me to follow in his footsteps and support you as well.”

It took Iruka and Anko a second to process what Gai was saying before it clicked that Gai had taken Kakashi’s words as being an ally to Iruka and not someone who was batting for the same team. Anko was the first to ask, “Gai… This… This isn’t like when Kakashi was standing up for you.”

A look of utter confusion crossed his face and Gai for the first time that day looked dumbfounded. “Wait, what?”

“Gai… Kakashi and I…” Iruka started but stopped, not knowing what to even say. They weren’t really anything anymore.

Loud funk music suddenly filled the room, coming from Gai’s pocket and they all jumped. It had been coming from Gai’s phone and the bewildered teen hissed in panic, “It’s Kakashi.”

“Answer it!” Anko snapped but Gai was too focused on the news he had half received.

“Tell me what you mean!” He demanded.

“Gai, just answered the phone,” Iruka ordered, trying to be calm but starting to panic too.

“Iruka!”

“Gai!”

“Anko!”

“Is everything okay in here?”

A bystander had poked their head in and all three quickly yelled, “We’re fine!”

The door was shut just as quickly and Gai was about to argue again but the phone went quiet.

Iruka suddenly had a sinking feeling. If Kakashi and Gai hadn’t been talking, then why was Kakashi suddenly calling out of the blue? Was it to talk things through? Maybe Kakashi would clear this whole thing up himself. He slowly explained, “Gai, Kakashi can tell you himself. You should call him back.”

With a nod, Gai did just that and everyone listened as the loud tone beeped once.

“Hello?” Gai answered.

On the other end, everyone could clearly hear from the high volume even though speaker phone wasn’t on as a wobbling voice asked, “Gai?”

“Kakashi?”

“Gai.” Kakashi’s voice grew stronger and everyone could hear the state he was in, one that was panicked, hurried and unsure. “You’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s going on?” Gai asked, picking up on Kakashi’s odd behaviour.

There was a long pause before Kakashi finally said, “I can’t explain it.”

And that ticked Iruka off. There was something wrong. He didn’t know what but something was not right and he needed to get find Kakashi now. Reaching out his senses, he could feel and see the other energies around him but searched quickly passed them.

“Kakashi, are you okay?” Gai asked in concern as Iruka reached beyond the fields around them and through the trees, reaching out ass far as his sense could go.

“Where are you?”

And there was that star shining in the distance. Iruka could feel his soul at the edge of his senses, not far and coming in fast. He was on the road headed for them.

“We’re at the fair.” Gai and Anko were both as worried as Iruka was. “Kakashi, are you okay?”

“I’m-” And then the phone exploded into sound and noises, static and buzzing. Iruka felt that light quickly stop and he watched it only move slightly, shivering and flickering on itself.

“Kakashi?” Gai called out but there was no answer, not even a dial tone.

While Gai and Anko stood in complete shock, Iruka was already out the door and down the hall with his heart glued to where Kakashi’s soul had stopped.

Sprinting as fast as his legs could go, he hurried passed people outside until he reached the treeline but didn’t stop for a second, almost tripping on roots. But then the light flickered, almost going dark and Iruka stopped. And then it was gone.

Behind him, he didn’t notice how Anko and Gai had followed, calling out his name. He was already miles away in his mind, remembering that his parent’s souls had done the same things when they died.

* * *

 

“Kakashi.”

Standing in the middle of emptiness and black, Kakashi looked down and saw himself. His hands and feet where all there, fingers the same as always. When he looked up though, he saw Gai. But it didn’t feel like Gai. There was something wrong about him. His eyes were way too dark, his skin paler than normal and his stare was blank.

His best friend looked like an imitation, a copy.

And he couldn’t look away no matter how hard he tried despite the dread filling his gut. The edge in the air hit his skin and it filled his every pore until he was consumed by unease.

“Kakashi.” The voice sounded so much like Gai’s but his mouth hadn’t moved.

But then he opened it and his mouth spewed black ink, dripping down his chin and staining his shirt. Then his eyes did the same and his whole face was covered by black, slick ink as if the darkness around him was closing in. And it was. Ever so slowly, long fingers of the black surged forward around Gai’s unseeing face but stretched on and on until his whole face was covered.

But Kakashi couldn’t do anything. He was paralyzed with fear and everything only got worse.

The fingers slowly pulled away, smudging the black ink and revealing a new face underneath that was not Gai’s.

He could see the reflection of orange goggles and the face underneath that was burned beyond recognition.

“You didn’t save me,” The boy said with a voice that was too deep to be his. “You can’t save them.”

And then everything was up in flames. He knew this dream well from here on out. He would walk through flames until he passed through a door. It would lead him into a room that he didn’t recognise with a figure burning on their bed. The net door he passed through would lead him to the same thing but someone else’s room and then again and again with different rooms from different houses until he reached the last one.

This time, he knew to expect Obito’s body burned to ashes on the wide sill of the window, knowing this time with the resurgence of repressed childhood trauma that it hadn’t been a dream the first time he saw it.

But it wasn’t the body of a child. It was Gai’s.

Waking in a blind panic, he sat on his bed, breathing hard.

He couldn’t tell what was real or not anymore. He felt like he was still in a dream state. Kakashi, not knowing what to do, got up. He had to find his phone, to see if this all was real. Pulling away covers and throwing off his pillows, he found his phone had slid between the crack of his bed and the wall, another unusual occurrence. Everything was feeling so wrong. He didn’t feel like himself anymore. He didn’t know what to do or where to go.

Gai. He had to find Gai. That would help as a first stop. And then Iruka.

Clothes were thrown on and he hurried out to his truck. It was almost three in the afternoon and he quickly started it up.

He knew where to find Gai. It was Monday, the first of October. Gai would be at the fair and everyone else he loved and cared about should be there too. If he could just get there.

But he couldn’t get there quick enough. He was already dialing Gai before he had left his street. The elementary school wasn’t far, not as far as the high school. He might be in time to stop anything from happening. He knew deep down that Gai wasn’t safe anymore. That dream had made it loud and clear.

But his call went to voicemail and his panic spiked. Gai would never not answer his phone, especially if Kakashi called. That had been the one thing he had been counting on and now he was terrified he was too late. Fuck. He couldn’t lose another best friend, not again.

His foot pressed harder on the peddle, not knowing or caring what speed he was going anymore because he just needed to get there.

And then his phone rang from the passenger's seat. In an instant, it was in his hand and he answered.

“Hello?” Gai’s voice rang clear and he felt so relieved that he couldn’t speak or think straight for a second.

“Gai?”

“Kakashi?”

“Gai. You’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s going on?” Gai’s concern reminded Kakashi of the feeling he had and he remembered what he had called for.

“I can’t explain it.”

“Kakashi, are you okay?” Gai asked in concern.

“Where are you?”

He was so close to the school, he just had another three minutes to go and he would be there.

“We’re at the fair. Kakashi, are you okay?”

“I’m-” he didn’t finish his words because he had glanced up at the road to see a dark figure standing right in his path, her.

Yanking the wheel to the side, there was a loud screen of tires and everything was a blur.

And then he was staring across moss and grass. But then there was nothing else, not even darkness.

Everything just ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhangers! ;w; This chapter was a biggy and had to stop somewhere, yknow?  
> Hope you guys liked it! ;-; Was so nervous about uploading this  
> I think I accidentally deleted a comment or two though instead of clearing out my inbox so, if you see yours is missing: I'M SORRY I SUCK AT BEING ALIVE.


	8. Chapter 8

The Konoha High drama club acted out a history they barely knew in the elementary school’s dark auditorium under the bright spotlights. Their acting wasn’t the best but the hints of comedy that were sprinkled throughout were helpful at keeping them awake.

Kushina was shifting in the seat next to Tsunade, looking uncomfortable and upset. From the outside looking in, it seemed like she was too pregnant to be comfortable in the stiff plastic chairs. While that may have been a big factor, it was unmistakable the way she would glance back at the entrance and how they’d left a seat empty next to Minato.

Tsunade could feel her motherly disappointment from miles away and she remembered the first time she’d confronted Kakashi about being late or not showing up. It was a lesson she’d learned about parenting the hard way; just because they don’t show up for dinner, doesn't mean they don’t love you. They just made more important plans.

On the other hand, she wondered if the play itself was making Kushina uneasy too. Tsunade knew that most of it was fabricated and silly but she did like how spot-on they’d been about the star-crossed lovers who managed to survive in the end. They did play her grandfather in a very soft way that usually gave her a good laugh but there were people around them who were distracting her this time.

Around them, there were tons of teens giggling and whispering to each other as they normally did. It made her wonder which of them had been involved with what had happened last Monday and what words were said. She’d left Kakashi to sleep in when they left a few hours ago.

Just like Kushina, she hoped that he would show up but she wouldn’t get her hopes up any higher, especially with the people surrounding them. If Iruka wasn’t there either, it probably meant that those two were goofing off somewhere, a soothing reminder to her worries.

Vibrating in her pocket drew her attention down for a moment. Her pager was showing an emergency surgery for as soon as possible. Jiraiya already had noticed and she quickly whispered a word to Kushina who nodded, “Good luck.”

It was only a dozen minutes later after she left that Minato’s phone buzzed and he too excused himself.

Sharing a look, Jiraiya and Kushina followed their gut and Minato out of the auditorium. Just as he held the door open for her, cell phones started ringing and buzzing one by one in the audience. With a worried exchange of looks, they left before they could get lost in the chaos that was erupting.

“Minato?” Kushina’s worry made the young man turn to them, his face even paler under the fluorescent hallway lights.

“We have to go.”

* * *

 

“We’ve kept him as stable as possible,” A nurse was explaining as Tsunade suited up in her scrubs, readying for a long night on the table.

“Car accident, huh?” She asked as they headed to the emergent care wing and the operating room that was waiting for them.

“Yeah, completely ejected from the car.”

“And the patient?” Tsunade had heard their condition was bad: internal bleeding, broken bones, punctured lung and a lot more. They had to call in every doctor and surgeon in the county and beyond to come in and help. It was amazing that the kid was even still alive. There was still hope for them but their chances were so slim at this point.

“Young, probably still a teenager. Their face is pretty beat up. No identification on them. Just a box of chalk. Couldn’t find any emergency contacts.”

“Weird.” Tsunade said, her mind going into full analytical mode in preparation for surgery and the long night ahead even though the night ahead looked very grim.

Rounding the corner, she saw the figures sitting on plastic chairs by the surgery room entrance. As usual, she didn’t look at them; a form of bad luck in her superstitious mind. 

Still dripping from the rain, Gai and Anko watched as completely ignored them and strode through the double doors. It was only a few seconds later that they heard voices of concern. The doors slid back open as Tsunade pressed through them slowly. As she looked over and realised who was sitting by the sidelines, a confused nurse tried to ask her what was wrong but she vaguely told them, “That’s my boy.”

Without saying anything for a long time, she stood there swaying as if on the brink of passing out but she steeled herself. This was just another patient. That broken, dying boy on the operating table wasn’t Kakashi. He was just another patient and she would do everything in her power to calmly and carefully patch him back up. And if she couldn’t, she had other ways. Just breathe, she told herself. No tears or falling apart, not this time.

She stormed back into the surgery room and the light above the waiting teenagers’ heads turned red.

Sitting there, they waited.

And waited.

All the while, the last one of their soaked trio stayed far away, crouched and leaning up against the next corner barely visible but within earshot of everything.

* * *

 

Night sky twinkled up in between the arms of the trees. The night was still, quieter than it had been in months but there were still a few crickets off in the distance. It should have smelled heavily like damp ground and leaves but everything was blurred. There was just the patch of sky above him like a peek at the world beyond.

It blurred everything else. The smells were dulled and what should have been a chill breeze was muffled into vague feelings. It felt like he was under water but he could see that singular spot of sky as if he were looking through a telescope.

The stars were so beautiful tonight, stronger than ever. Why was he looking at stars?

With a blink, it felt wrong. There was something missing.

Like slowly coming out of a daydream, the window of his focus grew wider and the forest around him came into view. One way, there was just trees as far as his eyes could see. As he turned, the glimpses of grey through the trees got more and more pronounced until the road was just a few feet away.

There was a tall tree to his left. Near his hip, the bark had been violently ripped away. There was a bright, cherry-red streak where it should have been and it reminded him of something.

Something had happened there, something familiar but strange.

When he looked back at the road, it was day outside. The sky was full of white, fluffy clouds and the sky was so bright behind them. How long had he been there for? How long had he been staring at the forest?

Everything seemed to blend together and it was so heavy. He just wanted to close his eyes and rest a little. Just a moment and he would feel much more awake.

And he did. When he opened his eyes, he could properly concentrate and the world was a lot clearer.

But he wasn’t in the woods anymore and it wasn’t day. The sun was falling just beyond the treeline and he was at home. The fireplace was cold. The house was quiet. There was no one else home. At least that was what he thought until a bundled-up figure shuffled to the coffee maker and started a pot for brewing. Tsunade sat at the kitchen table and Kakashi could see from where he was sitting that she was exhausted. Her age was even beginning to show a little, under eyes dark and hands trembling.

She looked sad and upset. He wondered why.

“Tsunade?” He asked but his voice fell on deaf ears. Again, he called out her name but there was no response.

She couldn’t hear him.

She didn’t even flinch.

For some reason, it bothered him. It didn’t feel like she was ignoring him.

There was a spark out of the corner of his eye and Jiraiya was lighting a fire. He hadn’t even seen him pass by.

The sparks jumped onto the paper and wood until the logs were burning brightly. When he looked over to the kitchen again, everything was different. The sun was gone. The table was pushed to the side and so was the fridge. From the opening that led down into the basement, warm candlelight spilled out and so did voices.

“Tsunade,” Jiraiya pleaded but there was no response except for the sounds of glass on glass as Tsunade stepped up the stairs with her arms full of greenery and jars. After setting them on the table, she went back down for more all the while ignoring him.

“Let me come with you.”

The light was snuffed out and they both climbed up into the dark kitchen. Kakashi couldn’t see their faces but he could tell that his offer wasn’t a light one.

“Okay,” She nodded.

He watched as they methodically went through the jars and carefully bagged them in small portions. It was like watching her portion out food and he remembered where he was. He was home. This was where he’d lived for his entire life, part of his routine.

He was forgetting something.

There was something he had to do.

What was it? What was he missing?

It didn’t have to do with Tsunade, someone who he loved and cared about. He was trying to find that part of his routine that was missing.

Gai. That felt odd. There was something about Gai that he felt terrified about. And yet, there was something not quite right with the idea of Gai being part of his routine. He thought to at least try and find Gai.

As if on the end of a taut rubber band that was suddenly let go, Kakashi was pulled backward. Quick as it had started, the movement stopped and he was somewhere completely different. It was a familiar feeling, like how he was able to get places quickly while spirit walking. familiar were the clean, white walls he was looking at too.

Instead of home, he was now standing in the hospital corridors of Konoha General. The windows to one side were still dark and looked down onto a parking lot but there was light coming from the door to his other side.

The small window of the private patient room had been covered with a dark paper but there was what seemed like candlelight flickering from the cracks. Faintly, the sound of voices whispering could be heard inside. He wondered where he was and why they sounded so familiar. It sounded like two people, a man and a woman.

It was only a few seconds in his time before the light and paper were suddenly gone. That was when he realised that he wasn’t all there. Reality was bent in a weird way around him. Everything was blurring together but still very clear in some parts. How could he have just been with Tsunade and Jiraiya at home but was now watching her leave a hospital room at work?

He was spirit walking, he realised. There was something very different about this though. He felt wildly out of control.

He suddenly wasn’t looking at Tsunade and Jiraiya right outside the hospital room anymore. Instead, there was a group of teenagers standing there.

 “Something probably ran out into the road,” Anko answered, looking more tired than anyone else there.

“How’s Gai?”

“Quiet,” Was all she had to say.

Aoba swore but the others were as quiet.

“What’s he doing here?” Genma finally asked, staring Anko down until she snapped.

“He’s a friend. Maybe if you weren’t such an asshole then maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess,” She could tell her words bit the way Genma looked away and retreated into himself.

They all did.

“He stood up for someone who couldn’t.”

They looked up from their self-pity to find Gai, someone who they’d bullied beyond belief when they were younger. His words didn’t fall on deaf ears. They were heard loud and clear because they all had one thing in common.

Maybe that was what made Genma turn and head out, frustrated and confused with himself and the world around him.

The rest of them were left deflated and ashamed.

Who were they talking about?

There was something very, very wrong and he felt so dizzy, a cold panic swelling for a second at the realisation that he was forgetting something important. If he was spirit walking, he had to find his body. Where was his body?

The question was left hanging in the air.

He tried to think of being there, next to himself but he didn’t move.

And then it dawned on him where he was. He was outside a hospital room. The panic slowly ebbed away. Oddly enough, he was smart enough to know what was going on and the more it made sense, the more he felt the fear fade.

Slowly, he started to remember the last few weeks. He remembered the things he’d said and done, the people he’d met and the mess that he’d gotten himself into. As he stepped through the door to the patient’s room, he remembered swerving and losing control of the truck.

He could barely recognise himself in the bed across from the door. It felt like he was looking at someone else, another person whose whole body was bandaged and bruised beyond imagination. It didn’t feel right to be there. This was the source of where things felt wrong. How was he even alive?

Everything was numb.

And he walked back out.

At least Gai didn’t seem to hate him, he thought to himself with a relief that felt like the world’s weight was off his shoulders. He seemed to side with Anko of all people and Kakashi remembered the conversation they’d had at the grocery store. They used to butt heads all the time. He let out a laugh in the empty halls at everything, knowing that no one could hear him anyway.

Jiraiya’s prophecy had come true. He did crash but at least he wasn’t dead yet. His body was still going. Kind of.

He couldn’t go back to it just yet. He didn’t want to. He needed a breath of fresh air. Moving through walls and doors, the air outside made no difference. He couldn’t breathe it, he couldn’t even smell or touch.

Out in the open space of the parking lot, he watched the people passing him by and the cars going in and out.

The world around him was moving and still going without him. It was almost peaceful to just watch everyone go about their day. Even though he wasn’t a part of it.

There were things though that felt like they were creeping up on the horizon. Something was brewing in the air. He couldn't shiver but a cold wave through his spirit felt very similar to eyes staring down the back of his neck. Scanning the entrance of the hospital and everything beyond, he couldn't see any shadows that looked out of place. It only gave a small ease to the uncertainty.

His body was incapacitated. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't go back yet. There wasn't anything he could do in a body that was broken and would probably be in a coma for a while, he could tell that much from what he’d seen of himself.  At least he could watch and follow even if others couldn't see him.

There was one person who could though.

As soon as he thought of Iruka, aching bloomed in his ghostly chest into his entire body. It was almost like being homesick. A thread that had always been there being pulled tight and drawing him in. How could he forget about Iruka?

Holding onto that yearning, he followed its path. It didn't lead him back towards home though. It went right back into the hospital and to his room. Through the door, he could feel that link pulling him in but a bit of doubt made him stop.

A set of dark eyes turning away from him and Iruka’s voice telling him to call Gai back reminded Kakashi of where their relationship had been left. He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d been out or what had happened since then but he hoped that Iruka would at least talk to him. Pushing aside the doubt, he remembered Iruka’s rare grins and wanted to be near him more than ever.

Letting himself be drawn in, the door slid through him and he moved into the quiet room. His body was still there and beating beyond comprehension but he couldn’t look at himself. While his own body was pushing him away, the person sitting just next to it was what drew him in.

His hair mussed and falling in shaggy curls, Iruka shoulders were sagged and curling into his body. Hands meekly laying in his lap, his whole body looked like it hated being there just as much as Kakashi did. It caught him by surprise to realise that the bloom in his chest burned brighter than before just by the sight of Iruka, he almost felt nervous.

The soft beeping of his comatose body’s pulse was the only real sound inside the room until Kakashi heard the sniff.

Stepping around the bed to face Iruka, he found that the tears and runny nose were a welcomed balm to soothe away his previous worries. As much as it was relieving that Iruka still cared about him, he hated how it had come to this.

He’d never cried when someone else did. Seeing the heavy rolling tears falling from Iruka’s dark lashes and passed pursed lips that were holding back louder hiccups, would have been his tipping point. If ghosts could cry, he would have been holding back tears but he couldn’t.

It felt worse than seeing his own comatose body in some ways and he couldn’t help himself. All it took was his hand moving out and using whatever energy he had to make contact with the empty chair, anchoring his invisible soul to the visible world.

Like a breath of fresh, outdoor air, he felt himself there in the room more than ever.

“Hey,” He heard himself whisper and this time his words were heard. Like struck by lightning, Iruka’s casted hand froze up by his nose. Watery but bright and amazed eyes lifted. The shock slowly fell away to relief and Kakashi suddenly felt at peace more than ever, almost sleepy.

Hand falling away, Iruka’s crackling voice finally chuckled back, “Hey.”

Kakashi didn’t know how much Iruka could see of him but he hoped that Iruka could at least see how fond his smile was.

Tears came back with twice the power and Iruka ducked his head in embarrassment. Kakashi wished Iruka would yell at him and get mad, anything that would help the guilt that he was feeling.

“You were gone,” Kakashi heard faintly. Iruka didn’t mean his living body. He didn’t know what Iruka had seen or what had happened while he was out but it looked like it’d been rough. There wasn’t much of anything that he could do, he realised. Ever since he’d been thrown out of his body, the passage of time seemed twisted. Even with Iruka, he was feeling the world starting to blur at the edges.

“I’m here now,” He offered and that seemed to help even though he felt like it wouldn’t be true for long.

“Yeah,” Iruka whispered with a small laugh, his lips curling up softly. “You kinda are.”

Time shifted around him again after he felt a wave of exhaustion roll over him but this time it was subtler. The only differences were Iruka’s sudden change in expression from affectionately smiling to concern and the shifting of daylight outside. It was like suddenly jumping ahead a few seconds in a video.

Iruka’s worried brow told him that he wasn’t the only one to notice. “Kakashi. You should really get back.”

Glancing at the unconscious young man between them, he shook his head truthfully. “Not now. I don’t think I’d be able to wake up for a while anyway.”

Iruka seemed to understand but that didn’t stop his troubled stare. Kakashi normally would feel weird having someone stare at him but he didn’t mind it this time.

“You’re different.”

Looking down at himself for the first time, Kakashi could see the clothes he was wearing the morning he’d crashed. It had been thing he’d thrown on quickly, stuff that he didn’t think of putting on. “Kind of rushed out.”

“No, it’s your soul.” Iruka said slowly, eyes narrowing curiously. Abruptly, he asked, “What happened that morning?”

The dream from the night before and the fear flooded him for a second under Iruka’s gaze but he reminded himself it was days ago even though it didn’t feel like it. “Dreams. She was in them. It was like she knew things that no one else knew. It was like she was in my head.”

“Your soul was gone for almost five days.” A dark cloud rolled over Iruka’s face and they both remembered the situation they were in. There wasn’t much Kakashi could do but sit and watch. He was on the outside looking in, walking amongst others but unable to be real.

Maybe that was what he’d been doing his whole life.

With his shoulders heavy and weary from the exhaustion it took to hook himself down to the physical world, Kakashi felt himself falling away. He was so tired. He just wanted to close his eyes for a bit.

“Feeling tired.”

“Kakashi?”

Words falling on deaf ears, it wasn’t until the vision in jeans and a hoodie flickered away again that Iruka noticed what he’d missed when Kakashi first appeared.

Drifting in the air, the smallest aura he’d ever seen hovered about where Kakashi had been. It was smaller than the nail of his index finger but it glowed like magma. As if compressed down to its smallest form, Kakashi’s soul hung there just to Iruka’s side.

It suddenly stopped in mid-air from its hovering. Just as Kakashi’s spirit had done a few minutes before, the bead of energy froze and faded away slightly. And then the beep of the heart monitor suddenly hiccupped and climbed. Before the machine could even start its long screech, Iruka was out the door calling for a nurse.

Seconds later, a pair of nurses rushed in with a crash cart. One of the nurses was pulling away tubes and cables while the other pulled open the hospital gown and prepped the defibrillator. Another nurse had showed up and was pulling Iruka aside.

It was all happening so quickly and suddenly one of the nurses was calling for clear. Everyone in the room froze and backed away from the bed as the nurse pressed the pads of the crash cart to the erratic heartbeat. There was a beep and Iruka watched for the fifth time that week as Kakashi’s limp body was shocked in restarting.

The whole time he simply watched the spot where Kakashi’s soul had flickered away, hands balled tightly around his dirty cast and trying hard not to think of anything at all. He remembered tripping through the forest and Gai helping him up but the rest was a blank.

A glow finally appeared, the shine of the young Hatake’s soul bigger and less bound up as before. Shaken but relieved, Iruka slipped out of the room for fresh air.

That hadn’t happened in a while. He’d been stable for almost three full days now ever since Tsunade had taken matters into her own hands. Iruka didn’t know what rite or ritual she’d done and how strong it was. There had been a barrier around the room at the time, stopping him from invisibly sneaking in. It had stabilised Kakashi’s weak form at the time.

Whatever she had done though was fading and he had to talk to tell her.

He didn’t know if Kakashi’s soul being so small had anything to do with it but it didn’t seem like it was any less than before. His spirit still felt the same just… Pressed together or tightened up, if that was possible.

It was all so weird. Everything was so out of balance and off kilter, like floating around stranded in the middle of an ocean.

The worst part of it all though was that it felt like someone was constantly watching him and he couldn’t see her. He’d started biking back to the tree outside of town limits but it didn’t feel right to be there alone anymore. Sleeping was something he only did when he was in the car with Minato driving and that had happened even less.

Tired and anxious were the worst combinations even though he had been used to it before. This time he knew what was missing and that made Iruka miss the silver-haired country boy all the more.

At least Kakashi wasn’t dead. That had been the worst feeling. At least now he could relax a bit.

* * *

 

When Kakashi was back again, the feeling of coming out of a dream was becoming familiar. Everything became quickly clear. He was in the same place he'd left off.

The daylight outside the windows was gone and the only real light came from the light-bar above his body's head. It made his hair look white like an older man. It made him recall someone else he’d seen like that and he pushed that memory away. It was a reminder of his own morality and how close his body looked to death.

Memories aside, there were other things to worry about. Seeing Iruka had showed him that life was moving on without him. This didn't just include his neighbours though. With his accident, anyone he knew could be targeted.

A quick thought brought him onto a nostalgic strip of road.

Leading around the southern outskirts of town, the cracked pave curved on as dark branches bent over its path, draping down from high above. Warm lights from the deep-set houses spilled out onto the dark street and he could see the twinkling of fireflies pulsing in and out. Gai’s house was just up ahead a few blocks and they would often pass down this very road on their way to the rivers up north.

Like he had many times before, Gai was strolling up ahead of him but Kakashi noticed his friend wasn’t alone.

There was an awkward atmosphere between Gai and Iruka but not because of each other's presence but because Gai was prodding Iruka who seemed very intent on keeping his mouth shut.

“Come on, Iruka.” He pleaded but Iruka’s shoulders just went up higher as they walked along. Moving up by Iruka’s side, he could see the way Iruka’s cheeks were stained red and he wondered what was going on.

Iruka almost whined back but blushed even deeper when he found Kakashi’s soul floating along beside them. With renewed embarrassment and adamant refusal, the brown pony-tailed teen in tight jeans huffed, “I am not talking about this with you.”

Gai’s stepped suddenly stopped and they both looked back. Arms crossed and looking frustrated, Gai surprised them both by saying softly, “It’s just… He’s my best friend.”

Kakashi had never had a crush on Gai and never would but he did love him dearly.

“Well,” They heard Iruka say and his back was to Gai but Kakashi could see the soft smile on his lips. “You’re his best friend too.”

They started walking again as Iruka said carefully, “And I think that you should talk to him about it when he’s awake.”

Lost in his thoughts, Gai nodded and they kept on going down the street until they parted at Gai’s driveway with a friendly wave.

“You two are getting along,” He said as Iruka continued on and he watched Iruka purse his lips.

“You know, I can still hear you even if you’re not appearing as yourself.”

“Oh, I know.” He couldn’t help but feel very pleased at ruffling Iruka’s feathers. “So, what was that about?”

The blush faded slightly to Kakashi’s dismay and Iruka seemed to relax, knowing that Kakashi hadn’t heard the most of it.

“Guess you’ll hear about it when you wake up.” Iruka’s sly grin was a warming feeling and they kept going down the street together, Iruka walking and Kakashi moving alongside him.

“Tsunade’s really worried.” Iruka finally admitted and Kakashi knew that he would have to check up on her.

“Could you let her know I’m okay?”

Iruka nodded faintly as if wanting to say something but not knowing the words. Then he let whatever he was thinking go and instead said, “We’re all worried about you.”

Lights dim from the houses lining the street, Iruka didn’t look up but Kakashi’s didn’t have to see his face completely to know that he wanted to be right there with Iruka. He could just float next to him and watch with a sad weight on his heart that dragged him down into that tired feeling from before.

“I’m still here.” He finally said and Iruka smiled softly.

“Yeah.” There was a sadness there though.

It felt like Iruka wasn’t telling him everything but sadly that wasn’t new.

Iruka had been on his own through almost everything. He’d lone-wolfed it for this long with minimal help from Kushina and Minato but things seemed to be progressively getting worse as it got closer to the baby's due date. They could both feel it in the air even though Kakashi couldn’t feel anything physical. It felt like there wasn’t enough time.

He didn't know what would've happened if he hadn't been there to watch Iruka fall off the bridge and to drive out to him, what she would’ve done. Kakashi did have first-hand experience at being manipulated emotionally by her through the dream she’d made and that was when she wasn’t even visible in real life. Maybe they had been creations from his own mind but her image appearing to him in the middle of the street when he was so shook up felt too coincidental.

Oh, it was morning already. Alone in the middle of Gai’s street, he watched a car pass just next to him and he shivered. He was suddenly in the hospital by his body.

Sun streamed through the curtains and an attendant was in his hospital room, changing his IV bag. How much time had passed since the car crash? It felt like it had been years but at the same time such a short time ago.

He hoped he hadn't been lost in thought for weeks. He felt bad for suddenly leaving Iruka in the middle of the street and not getting to talk as much as he’d wanted about everything like Kushina, her powers and what Jiraiya had said about the source of her powers being a demon.

His room hadn't changed since he'd left except the bed was made and clothes had been left folded on his dresser. Moving through the house, he couldn't find any indication of dates. It was apparently around noon though so at least he had that.

The guest room door swinging through him was a shock at first. Kakashi’s surprise slowly ebbed away as he watched Jiraiya walk off to the kitchen, leaving the guest room and his laptop open.

And that was exactly what Kakashi was looking for. Sliding into the room, he quickly scanned the fancy technology for dates and time until he found it: just before midnight on October 8th, a full week after the crash and on a Monday when Tsunade would be taking a night shift. Even though it didn't feel like days, it was easier to grasp onto time when he wasn't connecting it to how time felt around him.

And then the pages open on Jiraiya's laptop became very clear and he realised what he was reading.

How could he forget that one of Tsunade's closest friends was a pervert and closet erotica writer? As distracting as Iruka had been after his findings, he still remembered what he'd read from Icha Icha and how very similar it to their spot in the fields. Words like sauna and honeymoon were words that popped out with the same main character. As much as he felt he'd spoiled himself for later issues, he couldn't help but wander back to wondering what Jiraiya had seen in their spot and if anything else in those books related to visions of himself or people he knew.

It was a such a weird and intriguing new fact of life. But mainly it was creepy.

* * *

 

Iruka pulled his face out of the forest dirt. He was shaking, arms trembling to press himself back up but he was losing all strength. This couldn’t be happening, not after he’d just pushed Kakashi away. It couldn’t have all been for nothing. He wanted to throw up.

“Iruka.” At his side, Gai was holding his elbow and pulling him to his feet but Iruka couldn’t tell where he’d been headed anymore. The world around him was starting to spin a little, losing control.

“The road is that way,” Gai was pointing straight ahead, opposite from the elementary school yard they’d come from with the same dread.

With a nod, they started off again in a run that was much more careful this time, spurred on by the need to get there as quick as possible. Their heads were ringing with the same screech of metal they’d heard from Gai’s phone.

Through the forest, the grey of pavement poked through and Iruka ran just a little faster as rain started coming down heavily beyond the trees. Breaking out onto the road, the street was bare with no cars on the road. Rain beat down against the pave and soaked him instantly to the bone but he was already numb. For as far as the eyes could see through the heavy rain, there were only trees even until the road curved up ahead out of sight.

Iruka knew they were close though, he could feel it. While Gai broke out of the trees behind him, he headed through the heavy showers further up the street, away from the elementary school and towards the corner store that was up the street from home. Scanning and following the road’s curve, Anko finally ran out into the street behind them in a swearing mess.

“Iruka?” She panted after them but Gai was following Iruka’s lead.

The road ahead that was out of view slowly grew closer until they saw the black tire marks on the pave as thunder clapped. Iruka couldn’t breathe.

Leading into the woods’ edge, the black smears were peppered by scraps of metal and glass that led all the way up to the pickup that was curled around a tree, facing them. It looked like the vehicle had rolled over before hitting the tree, every inch of it was scratched and crushed beyond belief. The windshield was smashed out, it was missing most of its doors and the front bumper was ripped off. There was no way in hell that it was ever going to be driving down a street again. It was just a piece of scrap metal now.

A gasp from Anko was heard and Gai was suddenly sweeping by Iruka, sprinting to the crash site.

“Call nine, one, one,” He heard himself distantly say, his whole mind going into panic mode as his legs ran after Gai.

Their shoes crunched over glass but neither of them heard through the rain or cared. Gai was circling the truck over to the driver’s side where the door had been ripped off its hinges to be left in the road somewhere.

There was no sign of Kakashi or where he could have gone and Gai was stunned by finding nothing, as if too afraid to look elsewhere but Iruka wasn’t in his own mind anymore.

The trees around them were all untouched other than that one and he ran his eyes over the wreckage around them, looking over leaves and grass. Bits of plastic and metal were strewn about, glass catching his eye too. And then there was the blood and his heart was gone.

He didn’t need to call Gai, he had probably made a gasp or just the sound of his quick steps alerted Gai.

Not far away, about a handful of feet away, there was a shock of silver hair. The grass around his body was etched and scratched from the impact but the body that made those marks was far worse.

Lying on his side, Iruka couldn’t see his face but his hoodie and jeans were ripped and stained in ways that suggested very bad things. He didn’t want to get any closer but Gai hadn’t even moved from the wreck. There was a part of Iruka that was frozen, but he thought faintly that he should check for a pulse and then do CPR.

Without thinking twice, he carefully kneeled next to the body. Recalling what he’d been taught back when he’d taken babysitting courses, his shaking fingers touched the pale neck that was already showing signs of bruising. He didn’t dare look higher. A split lip and cut jaw were within sight but that was it.

There was a twitch under his fingers. He thought maybe he’d imagined it but it happened again and suddenly he was there in that moment, panicking and scared to death.

“Gai!” He called, already pushing away the edges of Kakashi’s sweater to start chest compressions, to keep that slim thread of a pulse going.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Gai was swearing, hovering around Iruka as he started counting compressions in his head. “Iruka. His...”

Iruka didn’t dare look to see what Gai was seeing, shaking his head and he pressed down onto his palms. “Stop.”

Somewhere behind him, he heard Anko saying something and Gai joining her. He didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop.

“Iruka. An ambulance is coming,” Anko was saying, her voice wobbling to his ears but he didn’t answer.

All the could do was keep the compressions going and holding onto that threadbare hope. Everything would be fine if he just kept pressing. They’d go to the hospital and Kakashi would get fixed right up. They would go back home and then everything would be fine. He just wanted Kakashi to be okay. He would give anything for that. He’d apologize to Kakashi head on and tell him how he felt instead of being a coward.

If only to have Kakashi back again, he would leave town completely or stay close, whatever Kakashi wanted. Maybe if he hadn’t pushed Kakashi away, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe Gai wouldn’t be shell-shocked. Maybe Anko wouldn’t be talking to a dispatcher, trying to hold back sobs. Maybe Kakashi’s face wouldn’t be scratched and riddled with glass, covering his beauty mark in blood.

A sob got caught in Iruka’s throat, but he pushed it down, ignoring the tears streaking down his cheeks and focusing on keeping whatever hope they had alive.

That’s all he had to focus on as the sound of rain blocked everything else out.

He just had to push everything down.

Keep everything away.

Just ignore everything.

With a jolt, Iruka woke up from sleep for the first time in days.

Breaths slowed down at the realisation that he was home and safe instead of giving first air to Kakashi’s dying body, that things were okay. They weren’t good but they were okay for now. Even if Kakashi had suddenly stopped responding last night and he was forced to walk back home without knowing if he was okay or not, feeling uneasy and paranoid.

The feeling of being watched wasn’t good either but it was a paranoia he’d been living with. At least he knew how to deal with that. Emotions were a whole other ball park.

Sliding to the edge of his bed, the mid-Tuesday sun was a welcomed warmth at least. It helped to soothe away what he’d seen, bringing back the recent few days that were all passing so fast. Maybe he was being selfish though. He hadn’t been the only one there at the crash site. He wondered how Anko was doing now. He hadn’t really seen her since they’d left the hospital to go home and sleep for the first time in over two days. At least Gai seemed okay. It was odd that he’d started hanging out with Gai but not terribly weird. They did have a friend in common, if Iruka could even call Kakashi a friend.

The other two teens on his mind and Tsunade, he got dressed and headed out into the woods. The guide wasn’t much help at all but he’d managed to do a few simple things like conjuring small spurts of water and fire towards the end once he was frustrated and angry. What he really wanted to figure out was protective circles and barriers. There were a few spells in there that could maybe help with that. If he couldn’t protect Kakashi, then he would at least try to keep Kakashi’s friends alive and safe.

The only problem was that he couldn’t figure out how. It was like meditating for answers to the universe or trying to make food you’d never had without a recipe.

He felt like everything was right there but he couldn’t touch it. It always felt like there was something wrong with his already weird link to magic. He thought the guide would’ve helped and so had Jiraiya when he’d given it but they were both wrong as it seems.

Kushina and Minato had both taught him as much as they could but their energies were so ingrained into their very beings. They were naturals and he wasn’t easy to teach anyway.

Sitting cross-legged on the ground with the guidebook in his lap, the tried to find the link that would give him direct access to his own energies. Most of it had been blindly trying his hardest with little results but meditating had never been his thing.

After trying his hardest at recreating the flames he’d flickered and the water he’d pulled from the ground, he felt more than useless.

He stood from his spot in the forest and tramped back to the house. He was debating going to find Tsunade and talking to her as he saw Minato and Kushina leaving in the car.

They had only spotted him once they’d reached the road and he was on the front steps.

“We should have made him food,” Kushina mused sadly but Minato held her hand.

“Let’s grab some take out or something to bring back,” He suggested but she only nodded, lost in her own thoughts as they drove towards the hospital. She tried not to think about how they parked in almost the exact same spot as the last times they came. As they checked with the reception desk and headed up to the obstetrician’s office, she wanted so badly to just check in on the boy they knew who was still in critical condition. There was still a small bit of hope that there was something she could do to help but she knew that she didn’t have those capabilities. Tsunade did though and they knew he was in good hands.

She felt so guilty though because they were the ones who put him there.

First there was Iruka and now Kakashi who were both tried up in this mess and now the later was in such horrible condition because of their selfishness, because of her.

Months of agonizing thoughts were bubbling up but she pressed them down when they sat in the small waiting room that was decorated in pastels with a small section of kids’ toys and magazines. Maybe it was the overly happy posters of mothers holding their soft babies or the framed ultrasound pictures but Minato was nervously bouncing his leg.

“I’ll go get a snack.” He finally declared, looking overwhelmed. “Want something?”

“I’m fine.” She said and he was off down the hall as she waited.

She was really trying to push away her own thoughts and feelings. Stress wasn’t good for the baby, after all. What were they thinking?

Even though she was in a comfy armchair with soft lighting and the glow of the nursery room was just a few rooms down, there were too many things on her mind. And the guilt in her chest kept squeezing up her throat. Trying to distract herself, she walked over to where the nursery was housing a few babies.

One of them looked small and fragile, hooked up to a ventilator and swaddled in blankets to keep her warm. Another was screaming and crying, being rocked by a nurse who wasn’t at all fazed. Kushina couldn’t help but run her hands over her own belly, cradling it and remembering that this was life that she and the love of her life had created. She loved him so much. She could see him being a father and taking their son to the park.

She hoped that everything would be worth it, that he would be beautiful and good person. She hoped he would make a difference in the world and live a happy life, that he would end their curse. She just wanted everyone to be happy even if that may or may not include her. Their backup plan just had to work.

There was a soft kick under her hand and the tears fell uncontrolled.

“I love you,” She whispered to herself, hoping that all of this mess was worth it and that he could hear her. “I love you so much.”

“Kushina.” And then Minato’s arms were around her and she pulled herself together a little, hoping he didn’t see.

“Just a few more weeks,” He whispered to her and she nodded, smiling against everything.

“I know… Just worried about Kakashi.”

He could feel the same guilt in his own chest but reminded her softly, “Tsunade will take care of him. She is a Senju.”

With that reminder, she turned to hug him back and they both felt the baby between them kick again.

“I love you, Minato,” She whispered against his shoulder and he held her a little closer.

Outlined by the nursery glow, they closed their eyes and stayed in that moment as he whispered back, “I love you too, Kushina.”

Kakashi watched as a nurse met the couple who composed themselves before being led them off to their appointment. He’d debated showing himself to her but things had happened so fast. Regretting not quelling her worries, he wondered who else was worried about him. At least Iruka knew he was okay.

The person at the front of his mind though was Tsunade, the name Senju and why that rang a bell in his blurred thoughts. And then it clicked: Senju and Uchiha. Those names felt so far away but had been a driving force in Konoha’s growth. They were two families that had supposedly wiped each other out on the first of October dozens of years ago.

A dark-haired boy with a big grin flashed into his mind and he pushed it away, focusing on the fact that Tsunade’s real last name probably wasn’t Kato.

The star-crossed lovers who managed to survive had always seemed like a stretch but he wondered now how much of it was true and how much was weaved in with the powers around them.

It was like finding hidden tunnels under the town, a whole part of history that he didn’t know. What did it mean to be a Senju? It must have been linked to this newfound magical side of life he was discovering if Minato’s words were anything to go by. He wondered what else she was hiding from him and how it probably had to do with the things in their basement that a spirit walker wouldn’t need. All the jars, herbs and weird things in their basement were making a lot more sense now, reminding him of the Uzumaki’s basement and the ritual he’d seen them casting.

He wondered if Tsunade had been hiding those kinds of powers all along.

In an instant, he was back home and looking for her. If she had these powers then it meant that she should be able to hear and see him when he anchored himself.

As he guessed, she was in the kitchen but he hadn’t guessed the glass in her hand. Alone in their dark, evening kitchen, her only companion was the bottle of hard liquor and the glass she was already downing. To Kakashi’s shock, he watched her refill the glass and go again. Slamming it down, she sighed and pressed back against her chair as she went to fill up again without looking the slightest bit affected. He hadn’t seen her drink so heavily in a long time. She used to home blackout drunk almost every night when he was young but hadn’t in years. There was a good reason to drink now.

Hands moving out, Kakashi braced himself and focused all his energy on touching the chair across from her to show her that he was play, that he was there. His fingers touched and he lightly said, “Tsunade.”

She didn’t look up though.

“Tsunade?” He asked and she still didn’t look up. Instead, her hand went to drink and he knew that she couldn’t see or hear him. Frustration pooled deep within him, seeing her ignore him even though he was reaching out and he knew it wasn’t her fault but…

It made his blood boil, watching her fall into old habits and he couldn’t do anything to help her, to tell her that he was still there.

Gripping the chair tightly, he couldn’t help the call that tore from his throat, “Tsunade!”

And the chair moved under his fingers, barely a millimeter. Tsunade’s hand stopped with the glass at her mouth, eyes glued to the chair as she called out carefully, “Jiraiya?”

She seemed to look up but instead of at Kakashi, it was through and beyond him. So close, he sank into all the strength he had and pulled, inching the chair back again.

Shocked and scared, Tsunade quickly backed up out of her chair only to send it flying into the ground. Kakashi felt the world close in again though just as he’d caught her attention and he quickly pulled back, retreating into himself as he tried to hold on consciousness. She had to know it was him.

He blearily saw her staring at the chair in confusion and a look he couldn’t make out through his flickering vision.

“Tsunade,” He barely made out before he heard her speak.

“Kakashi?”

At that, he used the last of what he had to press the chair in before everything closed in again.

* * *

 

Tsunade had been just arriving from a shift when Iruka came around. She’d offered him leftovers, but he politely declined, seeing the dark circles under her eyes and the way she smiled a bit too hard.

He didn’t know what kind of powers she had but he knew that Kakashi hadn’t been able to get through to her if he was asking Iruka to talk to her.

“He’s not gone.” He’d told her slowly and she looked at him for a long moment before sighing.

“You can see him?”

“Yeah.”

She nodded, not surprised one bit by that fact and Iruka kept going, hoping he could cheer her up, “He told me to tell you he’s okay.”

Instead of cheer, she just frowned deeper and sighed again in frustration. “That’s because he isn’t aware of what his body’s going through at all. He doesn't even know how dangerous using his energy can be even if it is to communicate to us.”

He watched her grip her glass tighter and scowl even harder, her back to him at the sink. 

“One of his lungs completely collapsed. His entire left side was almost completely crushed. He doesn’t know that the airbag didn’t deploy.” The anger had slowly trickled away with every muttered word until the older woman was curled in on herself. It was suddenly very clear that Tsunade felt guilty about everything. Her gift to Kakashi had almost killed him and Iruka could see that she felt responsible almost as much as Iruka did.

“It’s not your fault.” He had said quietly but she didn’t respond. He knew she was worried as much as he was. “She did this.”

With no response, he kept on saying, “He told me that he crashed because of her. The rite you did to him is fading. I… She’s getting stronger.”

“I’ll take care of his body.” She turned to him then without any tears in her eyes but her commitment shining through in way that was inspiring.

And so, he gathered up his hope, went back home and tried again.

Trying was better than waiting around for something to happen.

And then something suddenly made sense. He couldn’t explain it to someone. Maybe it was because he’d been staring at the strange writing for so long that he didn’t need to know what they said but what they felt like. Maybe it was because he’d stopped thinking about it like a scientific recipe for success and more like suggestions for the soul. The key really did lie in Iruka and his own energies, how they were interlocked with feeling and emotion.

Fire bloomed from Iruka’s fingertips as strong and intense as a house fire. With a gasp, Iruka quickly shook his hand and the flames died. Eyes wide in surprise and discovery, Iruka rolled his wrist with the ache in his chest that had first brought the fire to life and the flames came back, concentrated in a ball at the center of his palm with licks flicking out now and then.

Iruka closed off the flames again and chuckled to himself with a fond warmth in his heart at his own epiphany, thinking how it was so easy to feel. “Damn. So, that’s it.”

All the possibilities of spells and powers were suddenly at his fingers and he couldn’t wait to find out which feelings were more powerful than others, which ones he could use to do what. He could find a way to make a barrier and protect himself from…

Success was quickly cut short with a piercing fear.

He was being watched, very closely. There was someone behind him.

But he couldn’t turn around as much as he wanted to.

And in a home not too far from there, Kakashi’s soul came back sooner than he thought to consciousness.

The kitchen was dark, and he was alone, presumably because Tsunade had gone to bed. Even though he wondered why she hadn’t been able to see him when he was anchored down, he hoped that he’d reached her and that she knew he was there.

Turning to find her, he instead found that the living room’s fireplace was burning brighter than it had in weeks. Usually, it was kept low for the summer and spring if they even lit it at all but now it burned hot and loud as if pushing away the winter cold from outside.

It was nostalgic and had him staring into its hypnotic flames so much that he almost didn’t catch the movement just to the left of it.

There was someone sitting in his father’s armchair, the one that no one else at home dared to sit in.

He suddenly felt like he was a small boy who’d woken up from a bad dream. Everything was cold and he just wanted to be comforted and told that everything was going to be okay by the one person who he trusted and looked up to more than anything else in the world. It felt like he’d just stepped around the corner and found him sitting there like every other night, as if he hadn’t been gone for almost ten years. As if he’d always been sitting there.

“Dad?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit later than I had planned. Soul povs aren't easy to write ;w;  
> Next chapter is going to be the last officially and then the 10th will be the epilogue so I'm going to try and post those two at the same time.  
> And I'm trying to think up chapter names for when I have everything up!  
> Lemme know what you think~


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are at the very end  
> Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing  
> Epilogue coming tomorrow :)

She’d been feeling uncomfortable almost all day.

After their appointment, Kushina and Minato had picked up food and brought it home only to find Iruka wasn't there. With a heavy heart and a full belly, they flopped onto the couch and watch movies. Occasionally, she'd go to the bathroom but the tightness around her sides didn’t let go. The doctor had suggested that maybe she would start feeling false labours or other weird pains and feelings. The cure was to wait about an hour to see if they got worse or better.

They weren't getting any worse which was good but they weren't going their way.

Even grumpy and upset, she still somehow managed to fall asleep against Minato's welcoming shoulder somewhere in the evening.

“Kushina.”

She grumbled but Minato was sliding out from under her head slowly. “Come on, let's go to bed.”

A hazy nod later and she was being helped to her feet. But as she slowly stood, the tightness around her tummy suddenly spasmed and the familiar sensation of liquids being tilted out of her body came a thousand times heavier than any period.

“Oh shit,” She said automatically as she and Minato watched as the floor was covered in water.

As quickly as her water broke, Kushina suddenly felt a wave of squeezing aches and froze up with a gasp.

Blinking away the shock, Minato carefully guided her back to the couch. She was trying to take in deep breaths as she said half-hopefully, “Maybe they’re just false contractions?”

That at least made Minato chuckle as he started to make a call, “I heavily doubt these are Braxton Hicks contractions, love.”

As soon as Minato turned away and started talking on the phone, Kushina silently swore and pushed away scared tears she didn’t want him to see. It was happening, she could feel everything inside her aching and there was a small voice at the back of her mind that chuckled happily at her misery. Blocking that side out, she took a deep breath and steeled herself.

“Okay, thank you. See you.” The call ended and her husband turned back to her with a supportive hand and smile. “She’ll be here in a few minutes.”

He was being so sweet and supportive with his hopeful smile. But another contraction hit and pretty much his entire face and presence was not longer helpful. In fact, she wanted to punch him in his pretty, gratingly calm face.

* * *

 

The cold feeling behind him that Iruka had felt once before was so much stronger this time. It made his blood curdle. The guidebook fell from his trembling fingers. His insides shook. The only part of him that didn't shake was his mind. There was nothing in his head, he couldn't think to even run.

There was an entire forest in front of him. He could run. He wasn't trapped but his body wouldn't move, as if knowing more than Iruka did that it would be useless. It felt like this was the end and the heart seared in panic. This was the moment where she took him and used his body like a husk. She would banish his soul and he would be gone. He didn’t want to die.

His lung finally pulled for air but he wasn’t breathing, there was just the feeling of choking on something. Coughing and sputtering, he recalled this happening once before. He remembered being face-to-face with her, his head feeling dizzy and suddenly he was falling into the river.

But this time his fingers couldn’t lessen the feeling of something being in his throat.

He wheezed.

He clawed at his throat.

Please.

And there was a cold feeling on his neck and it froze him.

Feeling like a pinched nerve was finally let go, he was pulled from his body and it went limp. Before it could fall back onto the ground, the head stopped just before the ground as if caught.

If anyone from the house would have looked out the window at that moment, they would have seen Iruka’s body floating high in the trees, his head tilted down and a dark arm reaching down from the leaves high above to grip the neck.

* * *

 

The flames gave off steady light, flickering lightly over his features and it took Kakashi a moment to realise that he’d only ever remembered the man in front of him in pieces and feelings.

Stronger fingers were flipping a page of his novel, worn but reliable without any signs of burns. His usual dark shirt was freshly pressed and tucked into his navy cargo pants as if he’d just sat down to relax after work. It was just like every time Kakashi would come back home from school, so happy to find his dad home. Kakashi knew that he would smell like shampoo with a hint of the smoke he’d tried to wash out after work.

“Dad?”

Sakumo didn’t even look up from his book and simply commanded, “Sit.”

For a second, Kakashi didn’t even register what he’d heard. He was unbelieving of what he was seeing until his mind caught up and he was kicked into gear, automatically moving to sit across from the older man in his usual seat. He felt like he was five again, eager to make his dad proud. It was like nothing had changed.

As tense as Kakashi was, Sakumo kept on reading without ever looking up and Kakashi was so thankful of the soothing quiet that he missed so much. Just the presence across from him was enough to ease everything away.

He was five again. He’d just come back from school where he’d played with Genma, Anko, Obito and the others. He’d just watched his dad make supper with the bell peppers that Obito’s parents had brought over from next door. They were full and Kakashi would be reading his own book like his dad was across from him.

But Obito was dead. The house next door had burned down many years ago only to be rebuilt soon after. His dad had hidden himself away ever since and Kakashi had been the one to start cooking. And then his dad didn’t come to the dinner table one night.

Then his dad was suddenly gone.

He didn’t know spirits could cry but there were tears in his eyes. He remembered every single time he’d come home and wished his dad was there to help him, to guide him. All the years of missing him. All the ache and he was sitting right there.

He couldn’t help the tears spilling down his face uncontrollably. He felt terribly embarrassed for a moment but his father didn’t look up from his book once. He didn’t tell Kakashi to leave either, they simply sat together for a long while as Sakumo read and Kakashi tried to control his emotions. It was comforting.

* * *

 

A loud whine escaped Kushina’s throat as another contraction hit and Minato hurried from the kitchen with more ice chips. As soon as he walked into the room though, the hot wall of air that surrounded Kushina made the ice already start to melt.

“Ice,” He quickly set the glass down on the coffee table in front of her as she gripped the couch and breathed out slowly. He was worried, of course he was. The love of his life was in so much pain and he felt responsible. He wasn’t about to let that show though. He focused on their plans instead.

He had to make this place safe, for Kushina and their unborn baby. The days upon weeks of worrying had him prepared though. The windows were already salted and nailed shut. They had spent hours and hours renewing her seals, making sure they had control over everything that could go wrong. Things always went wrong.

Her loud cries of pain echoed from down in the basement and he hurried back up with his arms full.

In his head, he had already numbered everything step by step.

The circles and glyphs were the first step. Then it was bringing everything inside that Tsunade would need. Once everyone was inside, they’d start the protection rite and then everything should be fine.

He just needed something that was Iruka’s.

There was a knock on the door and the couple froze. They both looked up from what Minato had been drawing onto the floor with chalk, fear and uncertainty reflected between them.

Grabbing his courage, Minato stood and headed for the door even though Kushina hissed his name in protest. They both were thinking the same thing: what if it was her in disguise? But Minato was prepared to protect the people he loved.

Through the glass of the door, he could see someone with blonde hair and scrubs and a man standing behind them.

Tsunade met his eyes when he opened the door, she stretched out her hand for him to take as if knowing his thoughts and Jiraiya did the same.

Feeling their warm hands and the life that pulsed in them, he was reassured that this wasn’t a trick and that they were who they seemed.

With a nod, he let them in and Tsunade immediately hurried to the living room with a loud greeting. “Kushina! Started without me?”

Jiraiya grinned and clapped his shoulder. “Ready to be a dad?”

“Sorry,” He heard Kushina say meekly through a hiss as he locked the front door again.

With a hum, Minato led Jiraiya to the living room as he said, “As I’ll ever be.”

“Let’s see how far along you are.” Tsunade already had Kushina in a different to check Kushina’s diameter and he waited nervously by the sidelines.

The look of surprise and her face going pale told him his concern was valid.

“You’re already eight centimeters.” The whole room went quiet before Tsunade asked, “Have you been timing contractions?”

“Um,” Kushina nodded and bit her lip. “Four minutes apart, maybe less.”

“Okay,” Tsunade set about pulling things from her bag and Minato knew that they didn’t have much time at all. Which was good. The shorter the labour, the better.

Jiraiya had already pulled aside the coffee table for them to work on the circle, asking, “What else do you need?”

“Water?” Tsunade asked before Minato could get a word out and Jiraiya was off.

That left Minato with his own job. He needed something that was Iruka’s, something he used daily or one of his hairs or something like that.

Tsunade and Kushina were a bit too busy to notice Minato slipping upstairs to the bathroom. It didn’t take long to find a brush that hair brown hair stuck in its bristles but he paused in the hallway on the way back down.

Iruka’s door was slightly ajar, the room dark beyond. Pressing the door open and flicking on the light, he found the room clean. There was no sign of Iruka and hopefully the boy was far, far away.

The bed he helped set up was where they’d put it. The old chest they gave him to store clothing in was one that he and Kushina had found at a thrift store as their first piece of furniture they bought together for their first apartment. A small bedside table held an old music player and elastics.

The bookshelf had a handful of books on it that they’d passed down to Iruka and a few that had been brought with him from the old Umino household. Along with the books, there were a few small trophies and medals from past soccer tournaments. A few baubles and trinkets were stacked along too like seashells and rocks. There weren’t any pictures or frames except one that was kept on the highest shelf.

Minato had only ever glanced at it and seen a baby Iruka and his parents against a studio background with similar grins. Maybe that was a good one.

Taking the small frame and pulling out the worn picture, he noticed how the room was oddly bare. There were no touches of personality, no signs that showed the bright, happy teenager he’d gotten to know more this past year. It felt very empty and Minato knew deep down that this wasn’t the only sign that something was off. He saw the same signs of depression in Kushina often and in himself sometimes.

He felt like a failure. They should have kept Iruka as far away from them as possible. If they’d only gotten to the police department sooner. If only they’d been more careful with the necklace. If only they hadn’t dropped it.

Iruka seeing the binding ritual had been unavoidable after that but maybe he’d be living the life of a normal teenager with another foster family by now regardless if they’d kept away. They could have gone their separate ways.

The more Minato had thought about it though, he wondered if any of them would have turned out any better. He and Kushina wouldn’t have had the chance to experience being parents the best and the worst parts, the excitement of pregnancy and the angsty teenager years all at once. They wouldn’t have gotten to know the silly, dorky mess that was Iruka Umino who was such a good kid. He couldn’t have asked for a better foster son and he wished that he could go back and time to change how things played out.

There were so many things that they could have done differently.

But he couldn’t think of a moment after they signed the foster papers that he regretted.

Reeling in his regrets and fears, Minato was spurred on by all the memories they’d made and time they’d spent together. He put the picture back and reached for the music player on Iruka’s bedside table, the same one he’d showed Iruka how to power on without batteries. As he turned to leave, he noticed a small patch of writing on the chalkboard wall that looked out of place.

The writing on it mainly was Iruka’s familiar chicken scratch writing but there was a small section by the door that read ‘Kakashi is here.’

Looking back at the room, Minato wondered if the Hatake boy’s soul was floating around somewhere nearby. Hopefully, if he wasn’t somewhere nearby, he was with Iruka instead. At least they had a few people to trust.

Voices downstairs got louder and he hurried back down the stairs. Tsunade’s arms were locked under Kushina’s tight grip as she said soothing words.

The fire was going against the dark outside and the cold lights of the house. Minato had only just stepped into the living room when a cry roar from Kushina’s throat, morphing into a familiar and terrifying shriek that had everyone flinching. Lights flickering, the screaming waned into panting from Kushina who was sweating bullets, trying to keep everything under control.

Tension was starting to thicken the air around them, the room hotter than ever.

This was it. The protection circle was almost done but now he needed to focus on helping Kushina keep everything under control.

In case they needed to work on plan B, they needed to keep her powers happy and sedated. The birth was already starting to wake him up, the burden she’d been carrying since birth and the same one that killed her mother in childbirth.

“Minato, get her some water.” Tsunade ordered but he noticed how she shared a look with Jiraiya on his way out. Pressing open the faucet, the loud shriek from before rang out louder and louder until it curled down into a deep roar. The house shook with its force and the lights flickered until they suddenly gave out. Dropping the glass, he rushed back with a spell at ready to find everything dying down again, Kushina panting with her head leaned down while the other two adults were ashen. Minato hadn’t been through anything like this either. No one had prepared them for this or the way Kushina’s very essence was starting to bubble up from her pores.

The red, burning aura eventually seeped back down as Kushina breathed and panted back to normal.

Putting his hands on her shoulders, she looked up at him and gave a tired smile.

“I’m okay.” She faintly assured and he squeezed, kissing her sweaty forehead.

“We should finish the circle-”

A distant knocking silenced everyone. Even the fire’s dim light stopped crackling loudly. As if holding their breaths, they waited and waited to hear for that sound again to see if it was real.

And it was.

An ominous, slow tapping from somewhere in the house echoed to them.

Carefully, Minato stepped out into the hall to follow the noise and he looked straight through the doorway of the kitchen to find the source. The eerie tapping was coming from the backdoor where they could see the vague outline of a person through the frosted window.

* * *

 

The fire crackled softly between the two men. Another page was flipped in the quiet living room.

They hadn’t spoken a word but it felt like home more than ever. Staring into the flames, he listened and just savour the moment together. It felt like a hole in his memories and heart had been filled after so long but there were thoughts brewing in his head.

“Dad?” The silence finally broke and Sakumo still didn’t look up but he hummed in acknowledgement. “Have you been here this whole time?”

There was quiet for a bit and Kakashi looked to find his dad lost in thought, eyes no longer scanning pages and hands still.

With a deep breath, Sakumo finally spoke in his warm, deep voice. “Well, I felt after I did what I did that I’d left everything a mess.”

Their eyes met and Sakumo slowly explained, “There were people who I needed to talk to. I owed you that much.”

Kakashi didn’t know what mental illness felt like or the sadness that his dad had been going through. His eyes had been blinded by awe when he was a kid but he could see that pain now. There was a deep, unshakeable sadness that was just visible in Sakumo’s regret.

And he knew that it had to do with the fire next door.

As a firefighter, he knew his dad wouldn’t flinch at just anything. The flames must have been deadly by the time the truck got there but the locals weren’t as sharp. The rumours had started quickly about the firefighters not even trying to save the Uchiha’s under Sakumo’s orders. It had weighed down on his father’s secretly decaying mental health. It was not trying that hurt him the most even though it would have killed him to do so. Kakashi knew deep down that regret was what ultimately killed his father.

“I wasn’t a great father and I know I let you down.”

But before Sakumo could talk anymore, Kakashi broke in, “You were great.”

Stunned silence followed so Kakashi continued, “And I’m proud of you, dad.”

Breathing in those words, Sakumo seemed to lose that hard exterior for a moment. His aloof demeanor faded away to surprise until it melted into a thankful smile.

“Thank you, son. I'm glad to hear that.” Were the soft words that followed and Sakumo closed his book and deliberately put it aside. “So, tell me what you've been up to.”

Just as surprised, Kakashi shifted and grinned in embarrassment.

“Where do you want me to start?”

* * *

 

There was barely any light outside to make it out, but there was clearly someone or something at the back door. The tapping had stopped. Whoever it was didn’t move an inch the entire time and Minato waited with bated breath.

It was completely silent until another contraction hit and Kushina gasped.

The shadow’s head twitched suddenly and finally a voice on the other side of the door spoke.

“Kushina? Is everything okay?”

Everyone’s eyes went wide at hearing Iruka’s voice and Jiraiya quickly snapped, “That’s not him.”

“Kushina?” The voice came again, concerned.

Reaching out with the edge of his senses, he felt the cold energy spilling from the door like dry ice and didn’t dare to push further forward with it. It felt like he would have been sucked in as if the person on the other side was a black hole.

A loud bang slammed against the door and made everyone jolt. Another one shook the door in its frame. It was at the third one where the glass cracked. It went quiet again.

“Kushina?” Iruka’s voice sounded scared this time and even though it pulled at their hearts, they didn’t move.

“Minato?” The person was pleading now and Minato’s paternal instincts were screaming to protect Kushina and help this person at the same time. Struggling with the panic building up, he was taken over the edge when the figure continued on, “Minato? There’s something out here.”

And he knew that wasn’t their Iruka, the boy who had too much pride to ask for help.

Slowly, he motioned to Jiraiya who took up the chalk and continued the markings that Minato had almost finished. Hands shaking and nerves strung high, Minato pulled on his energy and started mumbling the incantation under his breath to begin the protection spell.

All at once, the figure’s image suddenly snapped straight and grew taller. Jiraiya was suddenly thrown across the room and into the dining room. Minato almost went to help him when the backdoor suddenly burst open with a burst of air, glass shattering everywhere. There in the doorway, Minato saw almost nothing but darkness. He had to protect Kushina.

He only caught a glimpse of a jaw in the dark before sprinting to the others.

With shaking hands, he grabbed the burning hot chalk Jiraiya had dropped to finish what he’d started as quick as possible.

There weren’t any footsteps or noises. The presence was so strong that they could feel it getting closer and even though Tsunade tried to comfort Kushina through her whimpers, they were still shaking with fear and anxiety.

Then they saw it. And it was exactly what they expected and worse.

His dark hair still up in a ponytail, Iruka looked like he’d been thrown around like a doll. His hoodie hung from his shoulders loosely, one sneaker gone with his face scratched and dirty. But what scared them to the bone wasn’t the way his eyes looked like a lifeless frog’s. It wasn’t the way they still moved to snap right to them. It was the dark aura surrounding his entire being or what was left of him.

And Minato could tell that his soul was gone. His fingers gripped the chalk tightly, knowing that he still had two more markings to write but that there wasn’t enough time.

Before he could even make the next stroke, the stick was thrown from his fingers and it skittered off into the darkness of the dining room. Everyone else behind him was frozen solid on the carefully drawn lines and Minato curled his fingers into a fist tightly. He slowly pulled himself up, facing the form of his foster son that didn’t once even twitch. But his eyes weren’t on Minato. The eyes casted in dust stared just passed his shoulder where Minato knew Kushina was gripping Tsunade’s arms.

Finally, he set off the spell he’d been holding, runes suddenly burning themselves into the wood behind him. The warmth of his own powers at his back told him that the temporary barrier was in place but it wouldn’t hold for long.

Iruka’s eyes went straight to his and the whole room burst into flames but Minato’s reflexes kicked in at the last second. Wind rushed around them like a whirlwind and pushed the blast back. The walls around them were up in flames in half a second, burning so hot and quick that the paint was already peeling off everything. The ash it created filled the air with smoke and touched everything. It was blinding.

Outlined by fire and breathing deeply, Kushina was gripping Tsunade’s arms as blood dripped down her legs from under her dress. Her eyes were screwed shut but Tsunade was glancing in controlled panic from the haggard Minato standing in front of them and the figure he was protecting them from.

From far across the room, an ash-covered Iruka stood taller than normal and unshaken by the energy spent.

“Iruka!” Minato called but the body of Iruka pulled a frighteningly wide grin that was far from human.

“Iruka’s not here right now.” A cracked voice uttered that was in no way Iruka’s and it sent shivers down Minato’s spine, like nails on a board.

The only warning Minato got as to what was going to happen next was the white film over Iruka’s eyes suddenly melted away to black, lidless voids.

A flash of that same energy lashed out viciously like a whip and latched itself onto the father’s arm. He could feel it sucking the strength out of him and he tried to wrench it back but it pulled back harder and slid him forward a step.

A hissing breath filled the air, drowning out the crackling flames snakes its way to his ears and he felt himself involuntarily falter again. It spoke so softly into his ear, lulling his brain down into a state of weariness that was hard to shake off. It made him want to sleep so badly. So tired.

“Minato!” Kushina.

With a gasp, he caught himself and finally wrenched his hand away.

It was a moment of freedom and hope until a sudden, unexpected blast at his side threw him off his feet.

“Minato!”

He crashed through glass and wood before bouncing and skidding to a stop.

* * *

 

Kakashi looked up. He’d felt something in the air.

It had been harsh, gone as quickly at it came.

Sakumo cleared his throat and Kakashi looked to him, noticing the curious look on his face.

“Did you feel that?”

Sakumo blinked and looked around the room before shaking his head slowly. “No. What did you feel?”

Thinking it over, Kakashi didn’t really have a good explanation because he realised that his dad didn’t have what he did.

“Like a snap.” He mused softly and Sakumo set aside his book slowly.

With a shared look, Kakashi continued on, “Coming from next door.”

There was something going on. He knew he had to go over there and find out. He didn’t know what he’d do but he could at least try to help, no matter how terrifying the spirit and demon involved were.

It was so nice here though.

“Your grandfather used to have it to.” Sakumo gave a knowing smile.

It had always been just the two of them. Sakumo and his father had been estranged before the stroke that killed him as far as Kakashi knew. It had been before his birth though, a sensitive subject.

“You should go.”

As much as Kakashi knew he was needed elsewhere, he wanted to stay so badly. It was so calm and forgiving to be with his dad again. But Sakumo was smiling at him sadly, already knowing as well as Kakashi did that there were more important things right now.

They’d talked about school, the small jobs he’d had, Tsunade, his confusion about what to do next and Sakumo had listened with an open mind. He hadn’t said anything about his sexuality and didn’t feel like he needed to bring it up. He’d put away the memory of his father in a sad, respectful corner for so long that he didn’t want to feel anything but that respect and the tenderness.

So, he stood from his seat on the couch.

Heading to the kitchen, he hesitated in the doorway. It suddenly felt like he was really there, a pit in his stomach telling him to hold onto this as long as possible before it was gone for good.

He looked back to find Sakumo still in his chair, book in hand and a sad smile on his face. “I’m grateful we had time to talk, Kakashi.”

Words equally as genuine, Kakashi said as he turned back to the kitchen, “Me too, dad.”

“Thank you, Kakashi.” Were the whispers of words he heard and the light flickering into the kitchen was suddenly snuffed out. It left him in the cold, dark reality of the world and he knew that was it.

Without looking back, he let go of a tension he’d been holding inside him and he suddenly felt the air around him like an ice bath. He reflexively shivered against its brutal edge and knew that it was coming from next door, feeling it emanating from a source in that direction. The urgency of the situation fell on him. Something was happening and he knew that this was the moment they’d all been dreading.

Iruka. He had to find him. Imagining being by the other teen’s side, he snapped and found himself nowhere near where he wanted to be.

He was standing at the edge of town. A sign said ‘Welcome to Konoha in dark green bubbly lettering right at the base of Hagoromo’s statue. Surrounded by trees and nothing else.

He was alone.

It made no sense.

This wasn’t right.

He was further than where he wanted to be.

And it felt like he couldn’t feel the aura as much anymore. Maybe it was trying to force him back, keep him away.

He couldn’t let it win. He had to get over there.

Someone else, he had to try someone else who wasn’t so close to the spirit. The reminder of what was inside Kushina forced him to think of someone else.

Minato.

Wrenched forward, he was thrown through the forest towards the heart of the cold but cold turned into fear that spiralled into terror and he quickly stopped before he could get any closer.

He was thrown instead into grass and dirt just in time and he steadied against the bubbling hysteria in his soul. Standing in his neighbours’ lawn, he could now see what he’d almost thrown himself into.

The house was in flames, the second floor was billowing smoke and fire. The home’s white paint was either curling away from the heat or covered black from the smoke. A hole in the living room window blew out impenetrable smoke but he could sense that was where things were happening because he could feel two sources to this terrifying feeling in the air.

One was cold and dark, pulling at his very soul like a black hole that wanted to consume him while the other was the complete opposite and a million times more. He’d only glimpsed that one once, briefly and in such a small quantity but he knew what it was. This was the demon and its power, endless and all-powerful. It didn’t consume, it destroyed.

And it was growing stronger.

A figure on the ground shifted and he hurried to Minato who stood on shaky legs.

“Minato,” He called out and the head of blond hair looked up to him with bleary, confused eyes.

“Kakashi?” Minato panted out painfully. His shirt and pants were ripped, muddy ad covered in ash. He looked like he’d been thrown out the front window, the reason why the rail between the tall white columns was smashed to pieces.

“It’s happening, isn’t it?” He pressed as Minato looked back at the burning home.

“She’s here. She’s going to try and take Kushina.” Minato ground out, trying desperately to come up with some sort of plan. “Iruka’s gone.”

Kakashi didn’t know exactly what Minato had seen but his hesitation spoke volumes. He couldn’t agree with that statement though. “I don’t think so.”

The only evidence to his claim was a feeling in his chest and a location. He had to go there and find out. “And I think I know where he is.”

The ground started to slowly shake and the fire grew stronger as a scream cut through the air. It was a reminder that Iruka’s soul wasn’t the only thing at stake.

What would they even do with Iruka’s soul and her inside his body if they even found Iruka to begin with? What were Minato’s plans? How would they protect Kushina? What would happen to her powers?

“Kakashi.” Minato was staring right at him, hands curled in determination as the fire behind him cast flickering shadows over his frown. “If you can find him, bring him back. It should be safe by then. Please.”

The soon to be father quickly turned and stalked back to the house that was spewing flames and smoke as Kakashi called out, “What are you going to do?”

“Plan B.”

Minato quickly sprinted to the house as an ear-piercing cry of pain rang out and that was the last time Kakashi would ever see him.

“Shit.” Kakashi swore to himself and quickly thought of being away from this mess, being instead by the side of someone he cared deeply about.

Like coming out of water, he emerged by the statue again and everything was quiet again.

There was no yelling or fires, only the leaves crackling from the night breeze.

Old Hagoromo's statue was only a few feet away, off to the side of the road and surrounded with rocks and pebbles. Kakashi started to move closer, keeping his eyes out for anything out of place. He was unconsciously looking for Iruka’s physical form; his dark hair and casual clothes. Nothing was out of the ordinary though. The trees were the same and the sky above was covered the night sky in dark clouds. It was the same sight that he’d passed by time and time again his whole life.

The statue was the same too. On a tall slab of rectangular marble, Hagoromo was holding his horse’s lead, walking beside it in an old military uniform that looked to be hundreds of years old. A sword was sheathed at his side and his face was stern. Kakashi could see upon closer inspection that he looked to be a lot older than from afar. His face was lined and weary even though the elements had begun to slowly eat away at the metal statue over time. On the other side of town, he knew that the other brother was sitting upon a similar horse in the same uniform with his sword drawn.

He wondered if what he’d learned in class was just the surface of the story. Were they involved with spirits and magic too? If so, was the war that they fought in much more than what had been written down?

Maybe it had been written down. He thought about the secret basement in his house and wondered if there was something there. What if there were other houses in Konoha that had basements like that?

There were more important things to think about right now though.

Iruka.

Scanning the trees around him, he tried to find anything that caught his eye but there was nothing that stood out. He moved back into the street and tried to see beyond what was humanly possible, through his spirit vision but that wasn’t getting anywhere either.

With a sigh of frustration, he wondered if he’d been wrong in thinking Iruka’s soul was still here. Regret turned him inward and he scolded himself briefly for no keeping an eye on him.

He didn’t want to think about Iruka being gone. It didn’t feel right. It felt like there was something missing when he considered it.

Hope tugged on his heart and told him he was wrong.

That magnetic pull was still there. The more he thought of Iruka and his being, he felt that connection even more and it suddenly became more than just a gut feeling.

He could sense something. It was like a current of warm air motioning him forward and he followed it instinctually, letting it guide him back to the statue.

This was it. It had to be. There was something here he wasn’t seeing.

Reaching out, he ran his hands just a few inches over the edges of the slab to try and feel anything. It was only when he moved right over the plaque of Hagoromo’s name, where his ashes were supposedly hiding, that he felt a rough pull. It sucked his hand right in and he struggled to pull it back. He managed to rip it away but he knew now what he’d been looking for.

Glancing around, he wondered if there was anything he could use as a lifeline or an anchor and then he realised he was a ghost and couldn’t touch anything. Not that it would have mattered anyway by the looks of it. It was something on the ethereal side.

He pulled together his courage instead and dove in head first.

Screaming surrounded him instantly as he fell forward and rolled. When he ground to a stop, it was quiet again. Everything was dark around him.

It was like an abyss of nothing other than a night above him that shone down like a spotlight, the way he’d came.

For the first time in days, he felt what cold really felt like on his skin. It was icy and sharp, nipping at his cheeks and fingers. Dark dread was pooling in his gut but he focused on that warm pull of air and how it ushered him forward.

So, surrounded by black and nothing, he started forward with his feelings for Iruka in his heart and the need to find him in his hands.

* * *

 

The ceiling crumbled down and rained burning hot pieces of wood and ash as Minato surged through the front door only to stop short. The house was so hot, it was suffocating.

He stepped quickly over the collapsing pieces and hurried through smoke, trying to cover himself from inhaling it. Just as he found the living room doorway, he saw his temporary shield falling from another slam of fists. It flickered and fell away just as Kushina let out another cry.

And Minato was able to witness the most beautiful and terrifying thing he’d ever seen.

Tsunade pulled her hands quickly out from under Kushina’s dress with a mess of flesh and liquids just as his wife let out a shocked cry. He could see her knees trembling from the effort as she leaned her hands on Tsunade’s shoulders. The older woman was quickly wiping the squishy ball with quick hands, crouched just in front of Kushina who was letting out weak cry of surprise.

Terrifying was the teenager standing between Minato and the scene.

But before Minato could get any closer or do anything, he felt a wall slam into him, throwing him tumbling back against the stairwell.

He got to his knees just in time to see a familiar wall of protection rising up. It was all the way up by the time he got up.

“Kushina!” He called, clamming his fists desperately to get to his family.

From across the room, he saw Tsunade shakily get to her feet and Kushina stand in front of her, protecting her and their baby.

Kushina was pale and sickly looking. The pool of blood under her didn’t look good and he knew that they didn’t have many options.

A pale, young hand reached out to her, preparing to take hold of her.

It was cut short very quickly by someone slamming into Iruka’s side. Jiraiya’s heavy body threw Iruka’s small, uninhabited body to the side. It gave Minato enough time to slam himself against his wall again and again until it started to fizzle out.

Rolling with black energy, the teenage body was lifted in the air slowly and set down on its feet like a doll. Head snapping to Jiraiya, the prophet had no time. He clutched at his throat, gasping for air as Iruka’s black hole eyes watched him suffocate.

As Jiraiya floated above the floor and gasped for breath, the dark entity turned its attention back to its target. Minato struggled to try and break down the wall, frantically trying to get involved and to stop this.

He didn’t know how though. He didn’t have time to write a more permanent protection circle. He couldn’t kill Iruka even if he wanted to. He wasn’t as young as he used to be, full of limitless potential. He was older now, less powerful even if he had what Iruka lacked: control. But this wasn’t Iruka. This was a spirit as ancient as the town itself, one with little conscious left but an endless drive to consume only one source. It knew how to use a body’s powers.

And after being trapped in a locket for almost a hundred years, it was ravenous to take more. And Kushina was weak. She had so much to deal with. She’d just given birth. Her body was failing itself. The seals holding Kurama at bay would only last for so long; the power she held that she couldn’t use but could keep hidden away. They hoped that she would’ve taken the demon to her grave and end this curse. But life had other plans and now they had a baby.

And now they had plan B.

Across the room from each other, the couple shared a look and Kushina held back tears as she blindly reached for their baby. Taking him from Tsunade, she broke eye contact for a moment to see her son’s face for the first time.

The sweet baby’s big cheeks were caked in white and red goop. His face was all scrunched up and angry, his skin purpled and flushed. The nose was a cute button and Kushina wanted to boop him so bad that she teared up. And then he cried, his first sound and she was in love.

He was perfect.

She looked up to Minato again, tears streaming down her cheeks and his face reflected hers. They were parents.

Holding up his hand, Kushina watched as Minato pulled out his pocket knife and drew blood. He had just enough power to do what had to be done.

“Kurama,” Kushina’s whisper shook the room and suddenly everything was red, summoning the beast they feared to awake from his slumber.

A low, earth moving rumble filled the air and everyone froze as a deep, echoing voice asked, “Yes?”

The room settled once again and Kushina finally gave the beast the answer it had been looking for, “We accept your deal.”

* * *

 

It was so quiet.

It was just darkness and his own breath. At least he could see himself against everything that science class taught him. Maybe he was bioluminescent now.

Then he finally saw a something on the horizon that quickly came at him, faster than the speed he was walking at. It was a door and he was at its doorstep in seconds. The dark wood stared him in the face until he gripped a cold, metal knob and turned it open to no avail but the cold traveled through him. It felt like eyes were watching him and he looked over his shoulder to see her.

And the dark shadow came into view, the spirit that had created this illusion and was keeping Iruka there.

It started moving and Kakashi tugged at the door but it didn’t budge. Pulling harder, it gave slightly only to slam back shut like on a spring. She was inching closer and closer with every second Kakashi struggled like an oncoming panic attack. Frantically, he pulled again and again until he finally got it nudged open and slipped inside as it slammed shut behind him.

Rolling onto his back quickly, he found that the door was gone and that he was staring at a tree.

The grass under him was soft and inviting. Nighttime had crickets calling to each other and the warm breeze that was brushing against his skin felt so real. Slowly getting to his feet, Kakashi realised where he was, the place he’d been going to almost every day for the passed few weeks. Stepping next to the tree, he felt the doorway pushing back at him but his sight moved beyond the tree, to the grass. There he found a welcoming sight.

All the tense anxiety and fear melted away in the first few steps. He slowly sat down into the grass next to Iruka. He’d forgotten the affection he felt for Iruka but now it was stronger than ever. Brown hair was pulled up, his lashes dark against his cheeks and his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeply, Iruka looked at peace for the first time in a long time.

“Hey,” He said softly and Iruka’s sleeping face twitched.

Dark eyes uncovered and met Kakashi’s smile.

“Kakashi.” He heard on Iruka’s lips.

As much as he didn’t want to disturb, he urged softly, “You need to come with me.”

With a frown, Iruka asked languidly, “Why?”

“I need your help.”

That sparked a side of Iruka beyond the sleepy fog. “Where are we going?”

“I’m bringing you home.”

Iruka blinked, watching him closely for a few seconds. Then a sad wave came over him. “It’s happening, isn’t it?”

“I think so.”

Despite the deep sadness that came over them, Iruka gathered himself and nodded, “Okay.”

But his arms shook as he sat up. His head wavered as if dizzy and his legs were weak under him, sending him into Kakashi’s helpful arms.

“Feel so tired.” Iruka said apologetically with a weak laugh.

“Don’t worry about it.” He helped Iruka’s arm around his shoulders and helped him to stand properly even if he leaned heavily against Kakashi.

“Tried getting out.” He heard Iruka say as they moved back to the tree slowly. “Couldn’t find a way out. Don’t have my powers like this either.” Iruka chuckled and patted Kakashi’s shoulder. “Good thing you’re pretty and good with souls.”

The direct flirting did a number on Kakashi’s chest and he squeezed Iruka closer. He noticed the pink on his cheeks reflected on Iruka’s. God, he was too sweet.

“You better not make it a habit of getting stuck like this.” He teased in return. “This pretty face might not come get you.”

“Kakashi,” The whine he got tapered off as they neared the tree, the mood falling dark.

“Ready?” He asked, seeing how Iruka had stiffened and gone serious suddenly. It seemed like the getting in was the easy part. If Iruka’s attempts had all failed, he wondered what lay ahead. The confidence in Iruka now that Kakashi was there told him that there was more hope now.

Iruka nodded, gripping the shoulder of his sweater as he watched Kakashi move his hand closer. He didn’t know what was beyond this door but he braced anyway, expecting to start running immediately.

Against the energy pressing him back, he forced his way through until his hand disappeared into it. Quickly, he slipped inside with Iruka’s waist in his arm.

On the other side, there was light and they saw a body on the ground as clear as day. It was in an alley out in the middle of a busy city by the sounds of it. The way they came was a brick wall and they were watching a mass of onlookers at the mouth of the alley, chatting loudly and snapping pictures.

Meanwhile, new people in matching uniforms were cleaning up and taking pictures of the crime scene. There were no words exchanged and Kakashi only got a glimpse of the splatter but he could tell that the body's face had been blown off.

Disgusted and grossed out, he held Iruka closer and saw how he was purposefully looking away, as if he knew what was there. It dawned on him that this scene was familiar to Iruka not only from the attempts made to get out.

He turned them to the rest of the alley only to find two more bodies and more detectives. A shotgun was strewn onto the ground, marked by a little yellow and black evidence number. They looked like they would be normal people but the van beyond them said otherwise.

A white logoed van at the back of the alley was a clue that he was right. Officers were looking into the van and blocking his view but Kakashi moved them through the people and saw that the van was full of plastic tubs. One had been opened and he could see inside what looked like hundreds upon thousands of rings, necklaces, bracelets and more. They all looked beyond expensive to Kakashi's untrained eye and jewel smugglers came to mind.

He moved to the tubs again and tried to feel for anything different like he had at the statue. There was no sucking feeling like he had felt before but there was a familiar uneasy feeling coming from somewhere inside the van.

Following that feeling, he dragged them into the back of the van without a complaint from Iruka and tried to let his hands guide him as they phased right through the bins. Ignoring the weird feeling and everything in front of his eyes, that aura was getting stronger by the moment. Then he unexpectedly found the source and it pulled them through into a different view.

It was another familiar room. This time, he knew people in there too. Kushina and Minato were sitting at a table looking as normal as ever but Kushina’s belly wasn't bulging with pregnancy like Kakashi knew her. She was surprisingly very thin, holding Minato's hand as an officer across the table from them was saying something. A sharp breath next to him had him checking up on partner to find Iruka staring not at the couple but on the other side of the table with shocked eyes.

“They didn't get very far with it thankfully. I could tell as soon as I sensed it, Ikkaku did too.” That last part left the room quiet and sad. Kushina reached across the table to hold the officer's hand, exchanging sad smiles.

“I didn’t get this far.” Iruka whispered softly and he pulled Iruka closer, feeling Iruka gripping him as hard as a lifeboat.

“We saw Iruka in the lobby. How's he holding up?” Minato asked and the woman across from them shifted in her seat, thankful for the slight change of topic.

“I don't know. He's so quiet now, it's scary. I don't know how to talk to him anymore.” Quiet time passed over them until she suddenly straightened up and moved to the door. “I should go get your things then. I'll be right back.”

The couple nodded and watched her go before turning to share an astounded look.

“Do you think it's sunk in yet?” Kushina asked.

“Not at all.” There was quiet again.

Kushina finally asked, “Do you think they'll be okay?”

“They'll need time.”

“Of course. We should make them something, bring them food.”

“Good idea.”

“Maybe even invite them over for dinner sometime.” Kushina's hopeful smile was infectious and Minato squeezed her hand. “When they're ready.”

They nodded just as they watched the officer return with a transparent, plastic bag filled with an assortment of jewelry from the smuggler's van. She placed the bag on the table for the couple to see and they gratefully pulled it closer, “Thank you, Kohari.”

“No problem. Let me know if anything looks promising that maybe we could pass on to Hiruzen or something that you two could use.” Her implications were acknowledged as they studied the jewels through the bag, pressing the plastic to move them around.

Kushina suddenly frowned, trying to get a better look at one of them. She looked up with her hands on the closure, “Can I?”

Kohari frowned but obliged, opening the bag. “Here.”

She pulled open the plastic and fished around for the piece Kushina had motioned to, pulling it out and laying it flat on her palm for Kushina to see. It was a thin, silver necklace with an oval-shaped gem circled by small diamonds. The purple glimmered beautifully but Kushina looked uneasy.

From her pocket, she pulled out a pair of thick gloves meant for keeping warm in the cold outside and slipped them on to take the necklace in her own hands and study it more closely.

“I don't like this.” She murmured as she shifted it in her heavily gloved hand. They watched her study, the air becoming more uneasy as time went on.

“Kushina?” Minato asked in concern.

“What else is in there?” She finally asked, a confused frown on her face.

“Well,” Kohari checked her watch before closing the bag. “I don't have much more time and here's a lot in here but maybe you can bring them home and try to figure them out.”

“Sure, we can do that.” Minato said and they started to pack everything up.

As they filed out of the room, Iruka squeezed his shoulder urgently. “Follow them.”

He jerked into motion and pulled them into the hallway just in time to see Kushina start to juggle her gloves, the necklace and the bag. As if in slow motion, he saw the necklace fall from her fingers and sail towards the ground.

With a loud crack, the gem inside shattered.

Shards of purple were sent flying across the floor.

And then Kohari suddenly spasmed. She dropped immediately to the ground, her navy police cap falling off and her ponytail fanning out as her eyes went glassy.

Kushina's gasp was soon swallowed up by officers down the hall rushing forward.

“Kohari!” The were soon checking on her but Kakashi wasn't paying any attention to that mess anymore. There was another mess happening with the couple that had been pushed off.

Eyes wide, they stared in shock at the shards. A dark, swirling fog had started to spew from it, unseen by all the normal human who were preoccupied by their co-worker.

Out of the fog, a black, tall figure slowly rose.

It was her.

Both teens gripped each other tightly as the past unfolded before their eyes with a newfound understanding.

Kushina was already whispering things under her breath as Minato held her hand tight. In a harsh whisper of words, she finished the spell and a wave of hot energy blew over them. The ghastly spirit was pushed quickly away, down the hall and out of sight through a wall.

Stunned and confused, the couple held each other tightly as officers were calling emergency staff over. Iruka and Kakashi were left doing the same. After a while of waiting, Iruka looked away from the officers performing CPR on his mother, already knowing the outcome. It wasn’t long before paramedics were on the scene with a stretcher only to pronounce the worst. And Kakashi saw a figure at the end of the hall, familiar and warm just like the one pressed against him.

The paramedics started rolling the stretcher away with the body bag on it and Kakashi pulled Iruka’s reluctant form along. Minato and Kushina were right behind them and they all watched the paramedics pass through the double doors of the main entrance.

A stunned, frozen Iruka was standing by the door, dark hair falling loose around his face.

“Iruka.” Kushina put a hand on the image’s shoulder. “You need to come with us, okay?”

There was a dull nod.

Kakashi and the present Iruka watched from down the hall as Minato and Kushina shared a worried look. In the air around them, a sense of dread had built up as if they could tell that the worst was yet to come.

Iruka and Kakashi watched as the three of them moved through the same doors, leaving them alone in the hallway.

It was suddenly quiet and empty now. Their throats were thick with emotion and a better understanding. It was comforting that they at least had each other though.

The door felt like their last gateway. Looking at Iruka, he could see how drained and tired he was. The leaning was heavier now and Kakashi wondered if he could carry Iruka but the young man looked up at him and smirked weakly, “After you?”

Kakashi could tell that he was covering up all sorts of emotions. Squeezing, he asked, “You okay?”

After a moment, Iruka nodded and leaned against him for a bit in an almost hug. “Yeah. So tired though.”

Surprised by the fondness coming from Iruka, Kakashi let the moment linger for just a little longer. The outside world seemed so chaotic in comparison to this place. He didn’t know what it was but he knew it was the product of a spell that he didn’t know, a place that captured and locked away the soul. It was surprising he had been able to get in so easily and get Iruka out this far. He had a feeling his soul was meant for this, his power.

The representation of Iruka’s soul against his was a feeling he didn’t expect, like it was just natural. It was as if it had always been there in some shape or form but now, he was aware of it.

They had to keep going. The double doors of the police station stood in front of them, a looming gateway.

“Okay,” With a shove, he shouldered open the door and pulled Iruka through behind him and it felt like he was pulling through a barrier of sand. It was slow, sucking against his force against finally pulling Iruka stumbling free.

Panting and recovering, they looked around to find they were standing in complete darkness and Kakashi knew they were close.

“Come on,” He urged, walking them through the dark and trying to feel out for anything that felt like a way out.

The more they walked though, the more he felt Iruka’s weight getting heavier and heavier. Iruka’s breaths were getting shorter and shorter, sweat starting to bead on his forehead.

After walking for seemed like hours, he finally saw a glimpse of light on the distance and pushed them faster. “There.”

Steadily, the light grew and moved. They stumbled just as they reached it, tripping and catching themselves right under the light’s rays. By this time, Iruka was shaking and weak.

“You okay?”

With a gasp of air, Iruka nodded and panted out, “I’m good, I’m good.”

As they looked up at the light, catching their breath, Iruka asked, “What do you think is going on out there?”

Kakashi thought of Minato, what he’d said and their house on fire. “Nothing good.”

There was just a nod of acknowledgement to that fact.

“Kakashi?”

He looked over and saw umber eyes smiling at him, unforgettable in their sincere sentiment with a hint of tenderness that Kakashi knew he reflected too. Nothing that had happened before to make them feel awkward or weird really mattered anymore. It felt like that was in the past and that they were moving onto better place, a new space to be themselves together no matter anything else. “Thank you.”

A wave of gratitude flowed through him and he nodded back. “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Reaching up towards the spotlight above them, he imagined being at Hagoromo's statue, his hand on the grass under it and the trees surrounding them. His eyes closed to the uncomfortable feeling of passing through something like dipping through a thin layer of water and when he opened them again, he was out. The night around him chirped in greeting, welcoming him back to the real world but when he looked beside him, there was no one.

He was alone back at the beginning and for a moment the thought he’d failed.

A feeling in his palm told him that wasn’t the case though. Not unlike anchoring himself to the real world, he felt a smooth and round bead in his hand. Brought up to the light, the bead between his fingers felt heavy and inanimate but he could see the swirling within in. Clouds of greys and whites shifted and pulsed within in, Iruka’s soul.

Realisation hit him and he quickly cradled it closer to his chest, afraid of dropping it… Well, Iruka.

Fist curled tight, the forest felt so huge around him. It was so much space to lose this precious little bead. He could still feel Iruka there but it was so noticeably faint, like he was sleeping.

Cupping his hands together, Kakashi closed his eyes and thought of being deeper inside Konoha. He thought Minato but there was no signal there he realised when he opened his eyes to the same trees as before. When he thought of Kushina, it was the same static fuzz. The dread was numbing.

He pushed the sad thoughts away though and tried something else.

It felt like such a long time ago that he’d been there but the Uzumaki’s kitchen was the room he was most familiar with in their home. He imagined the wooden table he would normally sit in, where he’d seen Iruka talking to spirits. Where he’d eaten food with Minato and Kushina. Where he’d walked through with Iruka.

The kitchen was burned down to nothing but ash and lumps of burned wood. Standing in a mass of burned wood and bricks, Kakashi found that there was almost nothing left of the house except embers and grey smoke that billowed up into the sky. Walls had collapsed with only sharp spikes of wood left standing. The staircase that once wound up to the second floor went up a few feet into nothing. Like a monument in the rubble, the chimney stood almost as tall as the giant trees that surrounded and hung over the land where the home used to be.

There was no one in sight other than what was left and Iruka’s soul felt even heavier in his hand.

“You might want to put that where it’s supposed to go.”

Kakashi froze at that voice and he almost didn’t recognize it at first.

Slowly turning, he found a boy with dark hair and orange goggles smirking up at him.

“Hey,” The boy greeted cheekily, utterly delighted by Kakashi’s shock. “Oh, come on. Don’t remember me?”

Faltering with his words, Kakashi didn’t know what to say except, “Obito?”

Obito gave a wink. “The one and only.”

Still stunned and feeling so overwhelmed by everything going on, Kakashi could manage to ask, “Have you been there this whole time?”

“Of course not. I was alive at some point,” The boy grinned wider when he found his words frustrated Kakashi and confused him even more. “But, yeah. I’ve been around since I died.”

Then it clicked that Iruka had been talking to Obito and it all made so much sense.

“Anyway,” Obito moved right through Kakashi, leading him towards the front door as he said, “You might want to put that soul where it belongs.”

“I’m trying,” Kakashi said as they moved through smoke to where the walls by the front door were crumbled away. Just beyond the threshold, the porch was falling apart and mostly burned away but they could start to see beyond the smoke and ashes in the air.

The light of day was slowly staining the sky a lighter shade of blue just above the treeline. In the grass and gravel that led up to the house, two cars were parked in the driveway. The first car, Minato’s, had taken a big of beating from the heat coming from the house’s fire but the other was far enough away that it was unscathed.

Kakashi’s heart dropped when he saw Tsunade’s car and the thought that she had been involved in this but it jumped back up again when he saw her standing by the car, looking off towards the treeline with Jiraiya in the car. The initial moment of panic gone, he followed her gaze to the edge of the forest until he saw the body that was propped up against one of the trees. Through a process of elimination, he guessed that the dark hair belonged to Iruka and he hoped he wasn’t too late.

Minato and Kushina were nowhere in sight.

With his heart heavy and hands full, he took the long walk through the grass towards the body. It led him just next to an ash-covered Tsunade and he saw her dirty hands, as if she’d tried to wash them without water. She looked beyond the frazzled and tired of four back to back work shifts. She was actually starting to look her age.

She was staring at Iruka’s body, analysing it from afar for any movement at all and he wondered what she was going to do.

In the car over her shoulder, he could see Jiraiya’s slumped form against the backseat. In his arms was a bundle of cloth, just like a baby.

They both looked like they’d seen hell and back.

Kakashi wondered what they’d seen but he was happier that they were safe and alive than anything.

The bead in his hands reminded him that there was someone else he had to see safe again and even though he didn’t want to, his feet led him closer and closer to where Iruka’s body had been dragged and propped up against a tree.

At a closer glance, he could see that what had looked like bruises were actually patches of ash from the fire. His clothes were relatively okay except for a few tears and grime on them. The body’s breath came out soft and steady, as if it were sleeping and it reminded Kakashi of himself in the hospital.

Glancing down at the bead, there was a moment where he didn’t know what to do with it. When he moved it closer to its rightful body, he could feel it start to pulse in his fingers, bigger and brighter with every inch forward. He watched as it glowed in his fingers as if waking from a sleep finally, urging him to move closer towards its body until it was suddenly sucked in.

For a moment, he thought he’d dropped it.

Eyes snapped open. Iruka gasped and coughed, curling in on his side and almost throwing up into the ground. Relief fell on his shoulders for a second and Kakashi looked to see Tsunade taking a deep breath, still watching.

The coughs trickled away as Iruka shakily got to his knees. Kakashi backed away a bit to give him space but saw Iruka's first reaction to his home and it broke his heart.

First, there was shock. It lingered into the way Iruka looked at the yard and saw Tsunade near her car. Tsunade simply looked away and that was the answer that had Iruka crumble a little more. Eyes watered and Kakashi didn't know what else to do but follow Tsunade's lead. There was a loud sniff though and a sudden quiet that made Kakashi look back.

Iruka had pulled in all his emotions and was now completely blank, standing on his feet and seeing the car. The side door was open and Jiraiya had woken up at some point, watching Iruka closely.

They all were, as if looking for any abnormalities.

Kakashi hadn’t seen what the others did but judging by their trepidation, it must have been bad.

A baby’s piercing cry suddenly cut through the air, high-pitched and wailing.

Jiraiya jerked and tried to soothe the bundle in his arms. “Shh, shhh. It’s okay, kiddo.”

Struggling between caring for the baby and keeping an eye on Iruka, Tsunade gave up her walls and moved to the car. “Here, let me.”

Both teens watched numbly as she rocked the baby and Jiraiya went into the seat next to him for something the kid could eat. They were mumbling low to each other about the baby’s care when Iruka asked what they’d all been dreading.

“What happened?” The quiet question was heard loud and clear, slowing everyone down.

Jiraiya was the one who spoke up. “They made a deal.”

The simple answer wasn’t enough though. Everyone was quiet, waiting for him to explain more but the older man swallowed hard, trying to find his words.

“They made a deal with Kurama, the Uzumaki’s demon for her to be gone.” He finally said. “And for the demon to be sealed inside their son. All in exchange for themselves. Plan B.”

“And now Kurama will be stronger than ever.” Tsunade said with an empty tone, the implications falling on them like rocks.

The trees above rustled with a wind that brought the morning with it.

They were all quiet for a very long time. Questions about how this deal was struck and its consequences hung in the air but it seemed that not even Jiraiya knew those answers. He seemed just as in the dark as the rest of them.

The only people who had a clue to any of this were dead or gone.

There hadn’t been any bodies left. The house was burned to the ground for the most part and the people left were in shambles.

A baby, one teenager, two adults and a spirit. All of them orphans.

Noise from the driveway turned all their attention up.

A car, sleek and black pulled up from the road and while Jiraiya and Tsunade looked relieved, Iruka was confused.

Door swinging open, a very old man with graying hair and dark shades stepped out in a pristine white shirt and red tie. When he flipped them up, they could see his eyes narrowed and studying everything deeply, the house, Iruka and then the baby.

Instead of saying anything, he let out a deep grumble. “I see.”

Jiraiya moved in and they shared a surprising hug before Jiraiya said, “Thanks for coming.”

“Is that the boy?” Tsunade nodded and brought the baby forward, sleeping and tired from crying. Hiruzen tucked his sunglasses in his shirt pocket and placed a steady hand on the baby’s forehead for a moment.

If they had been normal people, Kakashi and Iruka wouldn’t have seen the flare of energy that suddenly swept over the baby like a beacon. It faded just as quickly and the older man sighed deeply, pulling his hand away.

“He’ll be contained for a very long time with that kind of magic.”

That seemed to calm everyone’s nerves down from where they’d been but all eyes turned to the one furthest from the group. Kakashi saw Hiruzen’s eyes flick to him for a second and he knew that this man had experience seeing through reality. It didn’t make them any less nervous though when he motioned to Iruka. “Come here, boy.”

Doubt was in Iruka’s every hesitant move but he followed orders until he was within arms reach. Just as with the baby, a hand went to Iruka’s head and scanned through him.

Tense and waiting, everyone held their breaths until Hiruzen’s shoulders fell. With sympathetic and understanding warm in his eyes and tone, he finally said, “He’s okay.”

It was as if he could see how Iruka was clearly not okay on most levels and the teen looked down and away, trying to hide from his discerning eyes that could read his very soul. The others deflated into relief as their restless night took a hold of them.

“We should go home.” Tsunade suggested with a weary smile and gave the baby back to Jiraiya as Hiruzen went back to his car. Before Tsunade got in the driver's seat, she saw how Iruka hadn't moved and how his eyes were trained on the remains of what was his home for a little while. Kakashi stood just beside him to give as much moral support as much he could. He was starting to feel worn out though. His soul felt like it was slowly fading away and he almost didn't realise when Tsunade walked up to them.

“Iruka.” Kakashi saw her put a gentle hand on his shoulder and her a tense smile was blurry. “You can take a shower at my place. Sleep in Kakashi's room a bit if you like.”

“What's going to happen now?” Kakashi couldn't see Iruka's face, how it was turned to Tsunade. He wanted to see Iruka's face but Tsunade was talking to him and Kakashi's consciousness was slowly starting to fade again.

“The baby is going with Hiruzen. He knows a few places that could foster him back in Kuma.” Her words were starting to sound like they were far away.

“Technically you're not eighteen yet. You still have time left in the system and Hiruzen was hoping you'd go with them.”

The long pause was so difficult to keep awake for. “You are legally the baby's brother.”

Kakashi's vision was fading in on itself. Iruka's hair and Tsunade's face outlined by the rising sun were slowly fading away and he wish he could stay longer.

They didn't see Kakashi fading. The last words he heard before fading away were from Iruka, as clear as a bell.

“They planned to name him Naruto.”

* * *

 

For Kakashi, the world came back to him all of a sudden and in a whirlwind of sensations and feelings.

He saw first. There was a ceiling above him, white and pristine.

The next thing that came back was feeling and it was very clear that he was laying down on a bed. His arms, legs and just everything were too tired to move. His chest felt heavy and weird but then he became very aware of the thing down his throat, coming out of his mouth.

It went so far down and he started to panic. Where was he? What was going on? What was in his throat? He was choking on it, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

As he struggled to cough, he realised that he couldn't really move at all, he was pinned down and there was a beeping going off somewhere. Gagging and choking, he couldn't breathe.

There was someone next to him suddenly and they were saying things to him that he couldn't hear at first over the panic and the blood rushing through his ears.

Hands were on him, touching his shoulder gently. Then he could hear a little. “Kakashi, can you hear me?”

He couldn't speak even if he wanted to but he managed a squawk from somewhere in his throat.

“Good, good. You've been intubated and it's helping you breathe, okay?”

The panic slowly faded with their words. He was in a hospital. This was it. This was real.

The calmer he felt, the easier it was to forget about breathing. Whatever the nurse did had calmed him down greatly. He focused more on what the nurse was doing instead of his body as they went about the room out of sight. A few others had trickled in and greeted him with happy faces.

“Seems like extubating is a go.” The first nurse told the other people before another person came into view.

“Hello, Kakashi. I'll be your doctor for today.” She joked. “We had to intubate you a few weeks ago because your lungs were starting to get a bit tired. You've been under for a pretty long time so we're going to take the tube out and see if you can breathe on your own again.”

Her explanations were so soothing and he wasn't in the right mind to understand that she'd said weeks. The people around him were so nice. He didn't know what they were touching on his face and around his mouth but they were very nice about it. He only gagged a few times and suddenly his throat was free even though they insisted on an air mask.

The whole process left him tired and weak. It was only when he woke up again that he realised he'd slept.

“Hey,” A familiar voice said as he came to and Tsunade sounded too soft to be herself.

A hiss was all he could manage, “Hey.”

“Welcome back.” Her words were so caring and warm. He felt safe.

The hospital was a nice place when he had his own private room. A lot of self-examination told him that his body was a wreck. Doctors came in and told him things about what had happened to him and he vaguely listened. The lost had gotten so long that at some point he just couldn't remember any more.

His leg had been broken but was healing well, a minor fracture. His body was numb from the medications he’d been getting to keep him alive and well. There was a perpetual fog hanging around but there was one piece of news that he retained and sat on for the next month that he was awake and healing in the hospital.

It was spring.

While he’d been in a coma, fall and winter had both come and gone. Now, the world outside his hospital window bloomed with colours and warmth. And yet he felt terribly empty inside. It was like he just didn’t know how to process any of it.

Gai had come to visit with smiles and food from outside even though Kakashi thought the hospital food was actually pretty good. What surprised him was when everyone else showed up. Anko, Genma and the rest of their group all showed up one day with a small pile of books and homework and they fell into conversations about school and their plans for the future. It was like they’d forgotten completely what had happened.

The only hint he got that anything before he woke up wasn’t a dream was Gai and Anko lingering behind. They told him about how the whole school was in denial about most things, how the student body would rather believe that Kakashi had selflessly stood up for a friend. And then they went back to their slow lives like nothing had ever happened.

Tsunade would join the three of them some days for walks around the hospital with Kakashi in a wheelchair for the first few times. Most days, it was just him and Tsunade eating dinner in his room as if it were their kitchen back home.

He took tests without any time limit, the nurses that didn’t know him before called him by name and he’d mastered the art of towel bathing.

Life seemed to go on.

The topic of colleges came up in conversation and it turns out that only a handful of their classmates were going. Most had elected to stay and work for the family business or within the community in general. Anko leaving for Kuma wasn’t a surprise to anyone and neither was Genma staying to work on family’s farm. What surprised everyone though, was something Kakashi only heard about weeks after he’d woken up and not even from Gai himself.

It had been brought up in conversation about gym class or something and the word scholarship popped up. Out of the confusion that followed, Kakashi managed to ask, “Wait. What?”

World renowned Dai Academy of Athletics over in Kuma had offered Gai a full ride track scholarship for the next year. The mind-blowing part of it all was that Gai had been considering not taking the offer. He wasn’t really great with change and Kakashi knew that moving to the big city all alone was a major feat for him. So, without really thinking about it, he offered to go with Gai.

Life was a weird thing. He didn’t know what he would do once he got to Kuma. He supposed he would get a job. College and university were still an option that Tsunade suggested when he brought it up to her. They looked online for an apartment to share and Kakashi found that it was something to look forward to.

It distracted him from the thoughts and memories that resurfaced almost every minute of the day.

He finally got to go home in June, just in time for graduation. He said goodbye to the clean, sterile room and got in Tsunade’s car.

As she talked about the state of his truck and suggested selling it for strap, they drove through Konoha and passed through the long stretches of road towards home. The town was getting hotter with summer coming in and he was already sweating in the passenger seat. Heat was rolling in against the air conditioner and the run reflected against the road, causing watery shimmering on the pave ahead.

They drove passed the elementary school and the bakery across from it out into the more wooded area they lived in. The gas station was still selling fruits and other essentials. The road just kept on going towards home and Kakashi unconsciously kept his eyes on his side of the road, waiting for a driveway to look down. A few minutes later and he saw the nostalgic sight of a closed gate and the long walk towards the neighbour’s, a for sale sign at the road breaking the nostalgia. When they passed by, Kakashi caught glimpses of pristine white and saw how the plantation-style house looked untouched. He thought he had just imagined it but Tsunade saw his confusion.

“That house just won’t die, no matter how much you throw at it.” She smirked.

Suspiciously, Kakashi asked, “It’s an energy thing, right?”

“A very old one.” Tsunade nodded with a far-off gaze and they turned into their own driveway.

Home was just as he remembered, untouched and perfect. They dropped into the kitchen and ordered food for the night while planning what to make for the week. As they spoke, Kakashi’s gaze stayed to the living room with its cold fireplace.

His room had been untouched and he was so glad to finally get to lay in his own bed. His own clothes, his own books and even his shampoo were all welcoming him back. Despite the bruises and scars he’d acquired, everything felt like it was back to normal. The only read indicator that anything had happened was the scar that cut through his eyebrow all the way down passed his cheekbone. His eye had been just barely missed according to the doctors and the gang thought he looked even cooler that way but when he looked at himself, he could only see the past.

His mind and heart were heavy when he went to bed that first night home. His body had been so tired that he passed out but his soul wasn’t as held down.

For the first time since waking up, he looked down at his own body and left the room. This time though, he could feel the link between his soul and body like a harness. The further he went away, the more he could feel a strain on the connection.

The neighbouring house wasn’t that far.

The home looked like it hadn’t been touched in years and stood tall and unscathed. The powers imbued into it must have been ingrained into the very structure because when he went inside, there was nothing. The walls were blank. The furniture was gone and the kitchen was empty of even counters. Upstairs, the rooms were just as bare and Kakashi felt like there was nothing left there.

There was nothing physical left to show that anyone had been there.

It was as if they hadn’t existed at all.

It was as if Iruka had never existed.

Later, Kakashi would try to blink to Iruka and find that he would only get so far before the connection would spring him right back. He eventually stopped trying and was too hesitant to try once he and Gai moved to Kuma. It didn’t feel right to spy on people no matter how much he wanted to see them.

Eventually, he would start to forget about the year, the things leading up to his car crash and the things his soul saw. He would meet new people and find new interests. The life he had in Konoha became a fond memory of warm summers and the people he grew up with, the people that shaped him.

There were a few people though who he would always remember no matter what even though he moved on with his life and didn’t think about them every day.

Kushina and Minato had been like a mother, father, sister and brother all at once to him. Their story and the people they were at the end followed him in his life as a moral compass. They gave meaning to the word family and love.

And Iruka.

The boy next door.

His first love.

He could never say that out loud. It was often too much to even think about. It had taken him a month to fall in love with Iruka but years to forget him. He would see him in every single thing he did for weeks. Songs would sing his name and he couldn’t look at a starry sky without aching.

For a long time, he tried to forget and move on. Eventually it worked.

But that night, the first night he came home, he sat in the grass of an empty field with a single tree only a few blocks away. The stars above glittered and the moon was shining off above the trees.

That night his soul sat alone and he remembered the time they had together.


	10. Epilogue

As Kakashi wrapped dishes with newspaper and organized them in boxes, he hummed a tune that had gotten stuck in his head. He didn’t know from where it came but it fluttered around in his head, familiar and nostalgic.

For the life of him though, he couldn’t remember what it was called or even the artist.

“Hey, Gai?”

A muffled noise came from somewhere in the bedroom.

“Kitchen’s done.” Kakashi called back as he taped the last box shut, shuffled it off the counter and into the pile they’d made of boxes.

Dusting his hands off, Gai rolled into the living room and grinned. “Looks like we’re almost done then. What do you say about taking a break?”

After ordering pizza, they ate in the quiet silence of Gai’s apartment and studied their work for the day. Boxes upon boxes of weights, training gear and everything else Gai had were stacked neatly on top of each other with their names printed across the front to be moved in the morning.

The medals and trophies had been set aside in special boxes with the most care. The Olympic medals hadn’t even been grouped with the others. Those were special.

They were twenty-five and still young but it felt like Gai was already going through retirement. After years and years of working hard and winning multiple decathlon medals, Gai was taking a break after his most recent injury and going back home. He’d gotten a position easily as the gym teacher and track coach after the last one retired of old age and was planning on ‘taking it easy’ as much as Gai could.

Now, they were helping him move back into Konoha. The wheelchair was a bit of a problem but the tiny apartment Gai rented was accessible and close to the center of what would be considered downtown Konoha. The grocery store was right next door with the pharmacy next to that. There was even a physical therapist who was very excited to work with Gai around the corner. After the gold and silver medals, everyone was excited to welcome Gai home and apparently there was a special welcoming party being planned that Kakashi had been roped into as a cook.

And Kakashi was proud, so proud, of his best friend. Gai was oblivious to the small fame he had but everyone else was in awe even though they couldn't see what the man had been through. Kakashi had seen him through all the injuries and failures only to watch Gai get back up again and work even harder. He was happy for Gai, honoured to be his friend.

Kakashi on the other hand didn't have the same drive. He'd kind of fallen into the work he was doing without ever expecting it. When they moved to the city, he was at a loss for what to do with himself and somehow found a job at a used bookstore downtown. It was quaint and homely, full of plants and soft lighting. His own hole in the wall to hide away within the bustle of the city.

After working for the owner since he got to Kuma, the sweet old lady’s husband had sold it to him for cheap after she died in the hopes that Kakashi would keep its legacy going. That was a deal he could hold up. Ever since a few months ago, he was a semi-proud business owner who usually spent his time reading and cooking. Other than going to the gym with Gai and occasionally going out to do something fun, he didn’t really have anything that he wanted to do.

He wasn’t really the party type. A fun outing for him was going to museums or hosting dinners for his friends. Sometimes Anko would pop in and drag them out for a night at the casino or even to a restaurant. On the thankfully rarest of occasions, Kakashi would find himself at clubs.

He was a homebody above everything else. He had his friends, his work, his puppy and a fitness trainer who was just as chill as he was.

There wasn’t more he needed other than more books and maybe another dog but there were times when he felt like something was missing. That feeling was weighing him down even more every day. He wondered if maybe he should be doing something else, forging his own path. While some of the people he knew were making a life for themselves, Kakashi was still a bachelor living in an apartment too small for a dog. People posted about getting married and buying homes. There were even a few who were already having kids.

Ever since leaving Konoha, he had been in a total of three relationships in seven years, not counting the one-night stands. The first had lasted a few months but that had mainly been because both of them were so laid back that they never got around to breaking up. The second had been just plain nasty and the third he just… He hadn’t really liked all that much. It felt like they were all lacking in some way. Maybe he was too demanding as a boyfriend in the sense that he wanted it to be… He didn’t even know what he wanted really. He just couldn’t find that in his partners.

That was probably why books about romance and love were his favourites, they told stories of love that fed the idea that love at first sight and soulmates were real even though they were so far fetched and unrealistic in Kakashi’s world. Maybe the reason he had such high standards was from all the passionate romances he’d read about. He liked to blame it on the books at least.

He sometimes thought of someone though that he could have been subconsciously comparing them all to. He had forgotten mostly about that person now and how they made him feel, repressed from knowing that he would probably never see them again. But he could hear their voice in his head and saw them in crowded places. His name was whispered on the winds even though Kakashi had put the past to rest already. It had been seven years after all.

Work was slow that night and he took home a huge box of used books to donate to Konoha’s library. In the morning, the whole gang would meet at Gai’s to help load the small moving truck before driving out to Konoha. They had a solid crew of four who were happy to help and also party in a no-name town: Anko of course, Kurenai, Ibiki and Yamato.

It would just be for a few days to help Gai settle into his new home and of course to party with all their old friends. There was a bit of dread at going back to his old hometown but it was mostly excitement. Sadly, Tsunade was off on vacation for the summer and he wouldn’t get to see her but he was excited to go back to his old home, maybe even see his dad again.

He had seen the man out of the corner of his eye a few times during his few visits and it was comforting every time even though they’d never talk. Seeing spirits had become pretty much second nature at this point. It had been a bit weird at first since the city was so crowded to begin with but there were a few ghosts that he’d found to be very friendly. There was even one that would sometimes show up at the store and he’d leave a book out for the man in hopes that he liked it.

He was very pleased to find that manipulating souls was a useful party trick. After one night with a very uncomfortable soul who liked to get too close, it was astounding to find that he could push it back and keep it in one place with just a bit of his mind. It always felt like he was putting a dog on a leash but in reverse. Keeping it away had been fun until he started to feel it using his energy and he would get tired of wasting so much of it on the handsy ghost. That’s when he found a way to imbue his energy into things to keep them in one place like an actual dog on a leash, spirit binding. Suddenly some souls weren’t problems anymore because now they were afraid of getting bound to closets.

Those were some of the fun parts about his powers but none of them had any practical, reality-based uses. Sure, he could blink his soul all the way to Konoha and then some but how was that going to help him file taxes?

Watching, binding and barriers all for spirits and souls. He’d tried using them practically a few times, walking the streets at night with his body still in bed or going to the movies but he found that it was just tiring. It left him sleepy during the day which wasn’t good when he was supposed to be calculating earnings and paying the part-timers. If he watched people, it felt voyeuristic and he wasn’t really comfortable with using it that way unless necessary like he wanted to check what a noise was in the house and it almost always turned out to be Pakkun eating something.

At least he didn’t have a power that was uncontrollable or weird. He just never really saw a purpose for them even though all the books and pages he’d taken from his basement back in Konoha suggested more. They told stories of souls becoming malicious and cleansing households. There were even accounts of souls being cursed and how they were out of their realm of control since they were linked to the earth by the energy of the earth and not of the soul. It was all very complicated tales and Kakashi had given up on these accounts being accurate when they proclaimed that their problems were solved after a ceremony that seemed way too complicated.

Every now and then though, he’d exercise his powers to see if they were still there but he usually forgot they were even there. He just kept on living his weird life that sometimes included talking to ghosts.

As he opened his apartment door, a head poked itself up from the couch and immediately skittered over to him as he bent to slide the box just around the corner.

“Hey, buddy,” He cooed and Pakkun gave a wrinkly, happy yip. After locking up and setting down his things, he fed them both and he flopped down onto the couch only to have Pakkun carefully hop onto Kakashi’s tired lap for attention.

The puppy was only a few months old. Gai had been his roommate for the first four years of being in the city and the fifth year had been a hard one since Gai moved out to Mizu for a competition, leaving Kakashi all alone for the first time. The year after, Gai came back too late to sign a lease together which made Kakashi cave into his wants and began looking for a companion to fill his lonely apartment.

That was when he met a sassy puppy who liked nose rubs and paw massages and the rest was history.

It started to slowly sink in that Gai was moving back to Konoha for a while and that Kakashi wouldn’t see him on the regular. It was so far and Kakashi really didn’t feel comfortable driving for that long. He always felt so skittish and jumpy in cars. It was going to be another long year without his best friend and while he knew that he would be fine, he still would miss Gai a lot though. The man had been there to listen to him whine about relationships or blabber on about books and Kakashi would always help him train or drive him around.

At least he would have Anko around to talk to and kind of fill that void. She was a good friend and they talked a lot but Anko tended to hang out more with another friend group she’d met.

Maybe he needed to find a new hobby or new people. Or maybe he needed to find an actual career, he thought sleepily. He didn’t even know where to start with that. Sleep started to drag him down just as he wondered: what else even was there?

It had been a long time since he’d shown up in a place unintentionally during sleep. The last time had been when Anko almost got hit by a car but this was a million times different.

It was calm, serene

Stars twinkled so brightly above. The grass under him was soft and there was a building up ahead that looked familiar, trees surrounding the large expanse of field. It felt like Konoha but his mind was so far away.

It felt like he was dreaming.

A blast of white-hot energy suddenly burst from the forest edge in a wave. The eruption had come from a mass of burning red aura. He’d only seen a demon’s power a few times in his life and this one was just as powerful as when he was younger, the same pulsing energy that would have shaken him to the core.

This time, he wasn’t so scared of it.

He moved in towards the crater made by the blast just as headlights came screeching down the road. The car flew off the road and headed straight for the crater before it drifted expertly around one edge, carving up rain wet earth and grass. It just came to a stop before one of the trees, the bumper barely hitting it and the car halted with the headlights shining towards the hole. Someone sprinted out of the car towards the crater as a red glow grew within the wide divot of land. Instead of making what was probably a poor decision to run towards the source of power, Kakashi blinked next to the car and found that there was someone else inside the car.

Groaning, the old man slowly elbowed his door open and stumbled out before steadying himself against the door. His gray hair and worn face looked so distinct but he couldn’t quite place the man. It was too dark to see anything clearly at all.

A high-pitched roar shook the earth and the figure by the crater suddenly ducked just in time for a giant, crimson tail to swing out of the hole right above their head. When the person pulled up from their crouch, Kakashi caught a glimpse of a ponytail and their white shirt.

His mind suggested who it looked like but denial told him to focus on the real problem.

The same massive tail swept across the edge of the crater before curving back up to slam straight down. The old man in the car had already bolted and Kakashi instinctively blinked forward, across the crater on the complete other side where it was safest. At the crater’s edge on the other side, Kakashi saw down into the hole at the center of this power and saw so much red leading from the tail. Inside the swirling mass of energy, a tiny figure was crouched and trembling. He couldn’t see much of them but there was something so minute he noticed that surprised him.

The power was actually being held back. There was a grid of threads barely visible from where he stood, all encompassing this power that was leaking through the very net itself. And he realised that he wasn’t looking at energy at all. He was looking at a soul. It was just so powerful and intense that it was leaking from its bindings.

Stepping down into the crater, Kakashi slowly made his way in to get a better look at what was holding this demon back because it didn’t look like anything that Kakashi had ever created. While the focus was on the people in front of it, Kakashi saw how the stitching of this bind was held down by an anchor point on the figure’s front that he couldn’t see. It was like it was meant to seal the power to the body instead of controlling the soul.

The figure shivered within the energy and Kakashi could see now that it was so small and human. It was just a little boy. He was probably younger than ten and Kakashi put two and two together.

He couldn’t stop his hazy mind from imagining a binding that would seal the soul’s power from escaping the small body it was anchored to. He didn’t know if it would work but he thought he would at least try. It was the least he could do in the memory of a couple he once knew.

He barely touched the surface of the soul when the boy inside snapped his eyes around, two empty voids of white.

“Nice to meet you, Naruto.” He said to himself and imagined closing his fingers around a ball, holding it tight as he sealed the bind with his energy like he was using a roll of tape around a ball. The soul suddenly froze and he heard an angry voice in his head just as he was finishing the last of the bind.

“You.”

The deep void of a voice echoed through his mind as it shook him for a second but the bind was already done and it was ripped from his mind and hands as if sucked down a drain.

When he opened his eyes to reality, the energy was shrinking quickly back into the boy that housed it. The boy’s body tilted forward and fell into unconsciousness. The red power receded back into him and Kakashi felt like he had just run from Kuma to there. Debilitating weariness was pulling him down.

He was able to hear through his exhaustion, “Naruto!”

Kakashi jerked his head up to the voice instinctually. The person in the white shirt was just at the lip, staring down at them. It was a man. He was wearing tight track pants with white lines down the sides. Their ponytail was pulled back but hair was already falling loose from the motion it had been put through. There was a black band around their wrist and Kakashi felt like he had just turned eighteen again. It felt so familiar. But it couldn’t have been real. The world was so hazy around him, it felt like a dream.

And he woke up with a jolt.

Pakkun jumped from his lap and stood at attention, yipping at him. The kink in his neck told him that he’d been sleeping for a while but the windows were still dark. His phone said it was just passed two in the morning. He still had a good five more hours to sleep.

Stretching his poor neck and trying to stay awake, he padded not too far from his tiny couch to the bathroom. When he was finally settled in bed, the dream slowly came back to him and he wondered if that had been anything like reality. He wondered where the Uzumakis’ son was now and if Kurama was safely tucked away inside him.

He could barely remember anything of the dream and drifted back off into sleep with Pakkun curling up against his back.

At breakfast that morning, he wondered why his neck hurt so much. He vaguely remembered dreaming and that it was about a weird series of events. There had been a car and track pants somewhere inside there. Probably another dream about following a running Gai with his car.

He didn’t usually wake up this early though so his brain was very muddled and sleepy. A call to Gai a few minutes later had him picking up his things for the long trip to Konoha and yawning as he ushered Pakkun out the door to the elevators. With the dog happily curled in the passenger’s seat and a box of books in the trunk, he headed over to Gai’s.

Surprisingly, he was the first one to get there. Even Yamato was surprised to find that Kakashi had gotten there before him.

“Are you sure you slept last night?” Yamato asked as they were loading up the moving truck.

“For the fifth time, yes. I did.” Kakashi assured as he dropped his box in the back of the small moving truck.

“Uh huh,” Yamato suspiciously hummed as they headed back to the apartment. “You better not fall asleep on us when we get there.”

“And when have I ever fallen asleep on you guys?”

“How about every new year’s party?”

“Did someone say party?” Anko grinned from the car she’d just pulled up in, the latest of them all.

“Anko!” Kurenai was waving from the front doors and they all kicked it into high gear now that everyone was there.

There was plenty of room for Gai’s things in the truck and they were out of there by nine in the morning. Gai, Kurenai and Yamato were all happily seated in Kakashi’s car with Anko and Ibiki in charge of the truck. Secretly, that left Anko to make all the calls she wanted for the next day when they would be setting up for Gai’s welcoming party at Kakashi’s.

They managed to fly through the first three hours no problem. A stop at a burger place in the middle of nowhere filled them up before they gassed up and kept going. It was getting hotter and their legs were starting to stick to the seats. The air conditioning was at full blast and they had to pump the music louder to be able to hear it.

Finally, the long stretch of fields started to become familiar. He could see far up ahead that the fields would soon become thick, hot forests that made up Konoha. The tall grass just kept on going but a tree in the distance caught their eyes.

“Long time ago, there was a girl who crashed her car and died there.” Kakashi broke out as he turned down the music and Gai nodded in the backseat.

“That’s horrible.”

“A sad story.” Gai agreed. “But at least the tree still stands in her memory.”

Kakashi couldn’t help but fondly think of all the weird history he’d learned about this town in his childhood and the things he’d learned when he was in his last year of high school. “And that’s not even the weirdest thing Konoha.”

He and Gai chuckled together as the other two pressed them for stories that Gai was glad to tell as the tree Kakashi knew very well flew by like nothing and the fields suddenly changed into forests. He listened to the animated story but a statue marking the town limits caught his eye and he was lost even deeper in old memories he vaguely remembered a boy with brown eyes.

It was a little while more before they got to town. The houses were far apart. Each one had their own white or blue siding with faded roofs that all had a flag or another on the exterior somewhere. Gai was looking out for houses when he pointed right over Kakashi’s shoulder, “There that one.”

Surprisingly, the one-story home that Gai had picked out was the sweetest of the bunch. There was a long driveway that led up to the side of the rectangular home where a ramp led up to the side door. The siding was a warm yellow with white trim and it looked like it had been well kept over the years. A tree and bush combo sheltered the house a little from the street. The pave curved around a corner towards the grocery store further up and the other houses on the street were separated by tall trees and thick bushes instead of fences.

“Wow,” Kurenai voiced all their surprise as they pulled up in front of the house to let Ibiki back the truck into the driveway first.

Kakashi held Gai’s wheelchair as the athlete lifted himself quickly into the chair like he had many times before and wheel eagerly up to the door.

Ibiki was already opening the back of the truck when Gai finally got the home unlocked and they stepped inside.

The kitchen they walked into was comfortable and had a brand-new stove to cook at. It looked very open and they could see the hall that led to probably a bathroom and bedroom from the kitchen. The living room was small but they found out that there was an extra bedroom that Gai planned to use as a home gym.

It was a cute, small home that Gai really seemed to be excited to live in and they were all just as excited to help him move in. Especially Anko who murmured as she brandished Gai’s vacuum cleaner, “Clean up time.”

They cleaned and cleaned until at least a few rooms were done and then Ibiki and the able-bodied guys started to unload the truck. Gai of course was starting to unpack but mostly rolling around with boxes he could carry on his lap or praising them for their efforts. Night quickly came to Konoha and they were still unpacking and setting things up. The first was the bed so Gai could at least get up in the morning and the last thing they got to was setting up the gym, following the Gai’s instructions.

Kurenai had gone out for food in the meantime and returned with bags upon bags of snacks and sandwiches that they scarfed down easily.

“Everyone was so friendly,” Kurenai retold in amazement as she opened a bag of chips. “There was even a nice old man who let me go in front of him because he has a full cart.”

“Damn,” Ibiki commented with a hint of sarcasm. “Maybe we were wrong about this place all along.”

“Of course, I don’t mean everyone.” She argued back, looking at the three locals who didn’t deny it.

“Can confirm,” Anko even emphasized. “A lot of idiots in this town so don’t be fooled.”

Kakashi and Gai were nodding through full mouths, remembering some of the friends they used to hang out with in high school.

“You never know, some might have changed.” Gai hopefully proposed but Kakashi wasn’t repressing many memories of being bullied like Gai was.

“Hopefully for the better,” He mumbled back and Ibiki passed the bag of chips down the line to him.

“Anything we should see before leaving Monday?” He asked and the rest of the group except Gai all shined at the topic that would lead them to sneaking away tomorrow.

“We’ve got a few good places,” Anko grinned and looked at Kakashi who shrugged.

“There’s Hagoromo and Hamura’s statues.” He carefully laid out.

And Gai launched in the history of Konoha that Kurenai and Yamato had already heard that day. By the end of it, they decided they would show their new friends around. Gai being the selfless one practically helped them put the pieces of their excuse together by offering to stay behind.

But there was one part of the evening that brought up more memories and feelings than Kakashi had anticipated.

“Senior year was the worst though.” Anko mused with a pout and when Yamato asked why, she listed pointedly. “The school’s water system failed. Kakashi got into his crash. The guy I liked turned out to be gay.”

At that, everyone sputtered into laughter and Kakashi butted in with, “Still am.”

Peels of laughter had them all cracking up except for Anko who scoffed back, “Yeah, well, the guy you liked turned out to be gay too.”

Ibiki and Yamato both chortled in unison but Kakashi didn’t laugh. His cheeks were burning instead because Anko was right. They both knew that there was more to it than just Kakashi not making a move though. There had been so many different rumours about why the family had up and left in the middle of the night.

“What happened?” Kurenai asked curiously, compassion in her tone as she looked between Anko and Kakashi.

“His foster mother died in childbirth.” Kakashi said truthfully, telling the story that Tsunade had told him. It was the one that the public was supposed to know and the one that they retold again and again. “And then his foster dad took him back to the city.”

The very abridged and only slightly true version of it all.

“You never tried to find him?” Kurenai pried even deeper.

Kakashi scoffed not at her question but at his answer. “I did. Kinda hard to find someone who doesn’t have social media. Or a phone.”

He tried to pretend that he hadn’t spent months of his first year in Kuma looking for him in everyone’s faces. He tried to ignore the feeling of missing him because that was the one that hurt the most. So, he shut the topic. “That was years ago though. Barely even knew him anyway.”

With that, he picked Pakkun up off the floor next to him and headed for the door. “Time to go for one last walk, buddy.”

The room went quiet as he left and once the door shut, he watched Pakkun eagerly sniff grass as he heard the conversation start up again inside. They were probably talking about him and his love life but that wasn't new and he couldn't blame them. It had been a rollercoaster when he'd been in it and he couldn't imagine what others saw on the outside looking in. He wondered if they saw a couple instead of just two teens figuring themselves out.

It had been such a long time ago though. He could barely remember most of it but the feelings he was left with after had been so painful.

He caught a few words as he passed near the kitchen window that was letting in night air to cool them off.

“A coma?” Yamato like their other friends had never heard much about their past back in Konoha.

“Mhm. And by the time he woke up again, they were long gone.” Anko explained and Kakashi moved away from the window to give himself a little bit of peace and quiet alone.

The backyard stretched on for a little bit and he followed Pakkun for a while, trying to think of nothing.

“Nice night.”

Gai was at the edge of the ram, watching him with a smile before starting to roll out through the grass. When they were side by side, they simply watched the backyard and his dog until Gai finally asked, “You okay?”

After a bit if thought and checking himself over, he could genuinely say, “I'm okay. Just hurt a bit at first.”

Crickets filled the silence between them and the warmth of summer was closing in on them with humid air and its earthy smell.

“Every time we come back, feels like nothing's changed.” Kakashi mused and Gai nodded.

“But we have.”

And it was true, they had a grown and met new people from all over the world. They had done so many new things together and they had kind of made something of themselves, especially Gai.

“Well, looks like I'm gonna be coming here a lot more often now.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gai break into a giant grin that was more than excited.

“You have to!” He declared as he spun around in his wheelchair back towards the house. “Just because I can't run doesn't mean you can't for me!”

Calling Pakkun back, Kakashi followed and they finished their food inside in comfortable chats about school experiences and everyone listened intently to Ibiki's military school training shenanigans.

They had managed to unpack a chunk of Gai's things and were laying on sleeping bags in the living room, watching an old movie they'd found.

Gai had called it a night and went to bed in his own room while a few others had already dropped off with Kakashi being of them. He remembered hearing Anko whispering something to Ibiki about the next day before dropping off into sleep.

He didn't dream that night but still woke up terribly tired and still up before the others.

“We should go to Choza’s and pick up something for tomorrow morning on our way to your place,” Anko hushed to him after they ate a weird combination of eggs and chips.

“Hey, Gai,” Kakashi called down the hall and when Gai answered, he asked, “I was gonna go bring a box to the library, mind if I drive them around a bit today?”

“Oh! Wait, I have a few books that the children of Konoha might like.” Gai rolled quickly down the hall and went through a few boxes before finding a small stack of fitness guides that looked old but in very good shape. So, Kakashi added them to the box and he was shutting his trunk just as a car pulled up to the curb.

A few people got out of the car and started up the drive and at first, he didn’t recognize them until they got closer and they waved to him.

“Kakashi!” Genma fondly greeted as he and Hayate brought over what looked like a welcoming basket. “Long time no see, my man.”

“Hey,” Kakashi smiled wearily and was taken aback by the hug Genma went for but he didn’t stop it from happening. Hayate handed the basket to Genma and gave a simple man-hug that was seemed very friendly for people he hadn’t seen in years.

“Dang, you’re tall.” Hayate commented in awe and Genma nodded.

“Lookin’ good, Hatake. City’s treated you well.”

“Thanks,” Kakashi said, trying to hide his confusion and embarrassment. “How’s it been?”

“Pretty good.” Hayate shrugged. “Same old Konoha.”

Genma grinned and winked secretively. “Seems like there’s going to be a raging party happening tonight.”

“We’ve got a nice gift for the special guest too.” Hayate intoned and Kakashi vaguely remembered Anko saying something about inviting the whole town. It wasn’t like he could really turn them away and they seemed genuinely happy to see him so he let the past sleep a little longer.

“Seven o’clock my place.” Kakashi said and the other two nodded happily.

“It really is good to see you again, Kakashi,” Genma said and it took Kakashi aback that Hayate nodded along with it.

The moment was saved when a voice called from the door. “Oh no, not you two!”

The sarcasm didn’t faze either of the newcomers as the followed Kakashi up the drive to where Anko was hanging out the window.

“You know you love us!” Hayate called back and soon enough they were all inside, giving welcoming hugs and polite handshakes to the friends they’d brought from Kuma. There was playful banter between the old friends and Gai greatly appreciated the housewarming gift. The basket was full of fruits and protein bars with some bachelor essentials like toilet paper and dish soap.

According to Genma, the town had gotten so boring ever since the three of them left and they were so excited to have Gai to liven up the town again. Since Hayate now worked at the mayor’s office, there was even talk about asking Gai to have a plaque at their high school and asking him to say a speech at the October First Fair that fall to kickstart the festivities which was a big honour by Konoha standards.

Hearing that, the medalist was a tomato for the rest of the time they were there and they left with happy goodbyes and a promise to come visit again.

Once they were out the door and Ibiki had spied them driving away, Yamato immediately said, “Wow.”

“They were nice.” Ibiki said back.

“Those two usually are good people,” Anko mused and Kakashi didn’t say a word. He was thinking of the words that had been said right behind him that had stayed with him all the way until now.

“How about we go for that drive,” Kurenai suggested and everyone jumped on that idea. They left after sneaking a few essentials into the car and driving straight for Kakashi’s place. As Yamato commented about actually wanting to go for a drive to see sights later, they rolled down the main street until it forked. It was when Anko spoke up that they all looked out the window to what she was talking about, “Whoa, what is that?”

As they drove past the elementary school, the giant yard that was usually used for October First was slowly passing them by. Deep into the field, close to the edge of the woods, they saw a giant part of the field that had caved in. The grass and dirt around it were disturbed and uprooted to the point that the whole yard was a mess. And that was when Kakashi realised that he’d seen that before somewhere, a sense of deja vu. It was like the dream he’d had the other night, the one he couldn’t fully remember.

Unless… No, that couldn’t be it.

If so then… What else happened in his dream? Because it seemed like that dream hadn’t really been a dream because he very clearly remembered a hole in a field that looked exactly like that one minus the bad cover job.

He wanted so bad to remember what had happened. He knew that it had been important. Why else would his soul be in Konoha? Why else would he not remember most of it? Every time he’d blinked to Konoha from Kuma, he’d remember when he got back to his body.

That hadn’t been normal. There was something very huge he was missing and it frustrated him so much that Ibiki asked, “You okay?”

Schooling his face, Kakashi waved his question off, “Yeah, I just remembered a bad childhood memory.”

Satisfied but concerned, Ibiki was appeased especially when Anko butted in, “Was it the time you tripped and thought you were dying because you scraped your knee?”

He didn’t have to fake a blush for that one.

The gas station zoomed by and he felt antsy all of a sudden. He wanted to reach out and feel for souls, knowing they were so close to home and subsequently the old Uzumaki house. He knew very well that the property had been on the market for years now. The locals had already made up rumours that the house was cursed and…

There was no for sale sign anymore. The gate was wide open and Anko gasped as they passed, “Did it finally sell? Holy shit.”

“That place is amazing,” Yamato commented, peeking over Anko’s shoulder while Kurenai strained to see.

“What sold?” She asked.

“The oldest home in Konoha,” Anko explained. “Remember the whole massacre on October first? Happened all in there. So many people died in there.”

“A lot of people,” Kakashi hinted and Anko coughed, avoiding the latest death.

“Huh,” Kurenai huffed as Kakashi pulled just into the driveway next door. He quickly got out to unlock the gate and looked down the road to be a hundred percent sure that the for-sale sign wasn’t there anymore. It still was gone though and he shuffled unlocked the gate, pushing open each door slowly as he tried to gather himself from the bewilderment he was facing.

Getting in the car, he pulled them up the rest of the gravel drive until the small Hatake home came into view from under tall, hanging trees. As the others marvelled at the family home, he automatically went to unlock the door as his mind tried to reorient itself.

Once it was unlocked, he opened the door for the others as they oohed and aahed.

Distracted, he showed them around and pointed things out like the bathroom and kitchen. Thankfully, he was present enough not to point out the basement. He stood back and watched as the girls unloaded the few things, they’d brought from Gai’s like eggs and milk.

“We have enough to at least make the cake for tonight,” Yamato said with his head in the fridge.

“How many people are going to show up again?” Kurenai asked.

“About twenty… Maybe thirty. Guess it depends.”

“Sounds like it’ll get pretty loud.” Kurenai, ever the practical thinker of the group, suggested something that Kakashi lit up at the idea of. “Maybe we should go over and let the neighbours know in case it gets too loud.”

“Good idea.” Kakashi quickly said and Anko studied him for a second before letting the topic drop. “We should go meet them.”

Kurenai bubbled at the suggestion, eager probably to see an old house that may or may not be haunted. Kakashi on the other hand was eager to meet them and maybe get clues to what was going on. His senses were tingling that something supernatural was happening and he needed to find out what. He needed to know because one thing he did remember was seeing a face he couldn’t ever forget.

“Okay, You two head on over for operation neighbour butter-up.” Anko pointed a thumb at the other two. “One of you can stay here to clean and the other can come with me to get foodstuffs.”

“Dibs.” Ibiki quickly called and Yamato deflated.

“Guess I’m on more cleaning duty,” He whined but Kakashi and the others weren’t even listening. They trotted happily back out into the midday sun and the heat it brought with their own motivations.

While he gave the others his keys, he was thinking more about what he could have dreamt of from the bits and pieces he knew. Dark eyes, car doors and a crater were what he mainly remembered but he knew he’d seen the field before the hole, meaning he saw how it had happened.

It was all very confusing in his mind, a jumble of fuzzy images he couldn’t quite put together. Anxiousness brewed as he and Kurenai watched the others back out of the driveway before them. The sun was burning down on them, boiling the pave and making the walk feel exponentially longer even though Kakashi was almost speed walking the entire way. He was already starting to feel his skin whimpering and it seemed like Kurenai was in the same position.

“God, it’s so hot.” She was fanning herself with her hand to try and keep herself cool under her wide-brimmed hat. “Are summers always this hot?”

“Usually,” Kakashi chuckled.

“Kakashi?”

“Yeah?”

There was a pause as Kurenai put together her thoughts next to him before slowly asking, “Do you hope he came back?”

He knew who she meant and slowed his walk back down to normal pace in thought. Truthfully, he said, “Yeah. We didn’t leave on any bad notes but… Wish I could’ve at least said goodbye.”

Kurenai nodded. “Well, whatever happens, I’m here for you.”

Her sincere smile reminded him that Gai wasn’t the only one he could confide in and he felt all the better about it. He was still terribly nervous about it all though.

“Thank you, Kurenai,” He gave her shoulder a squeeze and she gave him a quick hug back.

“Now, let’s go meet your neighbours.” She beamed, excited to turn the corner and see more of the beautiful home they’d glimpsed passing by.

It was almost like deja vu when they did. The tall trees overhead made a canopy above as thick foliage bordered the long drive. At the very end of it, in a small meadow of grass, the white two-story home stood tall and proud like a monument to old architecture and the history of Konoha. The pillars that held up the home were brilliantly white as Kakashi remembered but there was a new addition to the home that Kakashi hadn’t seen from the road. Attached to the home on one side, a garage had been built big enough to fit at least two cars.

Kurenai sighed in awe next to him as they made their way to the front door, passing a car parked in the drive along their way.

They stepped up wooden stairs and Kakashi knocked against the solid white door, remembering all the times he’d knocked on it before and all the times they’d used the backdoor instead.

“Hi there.” A voice from behind them had them spinning around to find a man in a plaid shirt and jeans looking up at them, wiping off his hands on a cloth.

“Hi.” Kakashi automatically replied back, not recognizing the man at all. It took him a second to recover from his disappointment before manners kicked in. He stepped down to shake the man’s hand. “Sorry, I’m Kakashi. I live next door or used to technically.”

“I’m Asuma. Nice to meet you.” They shook hands and Kakashi felt that they were studying each other suspiciously. “I’ve heard about you from Tsunade, I think.”

“Nice. I don’t think I remember seeing you around the last time I was in. It was a few years ago though. What brings you to Konoha?” Kakashi pried carefully, keeping up a polite exterior despite the man eyeing him cautiously. Maybe it was the beard that threw him off.

“My dad and I run a non-profit for foster kids.” Asuma looked to the house and his eyes caught on Kurenai. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Ah,” She looked from the house to him and politely took his hand. “Kurenai. Pleasure to meet you, Asuma. We’re helping our friend move into town.”

“That’s why we’re here, by the way.” Kakashi explained and Kurenai gave her most charming smile.

“We’re throwing a surprise welcoming party at Kakashi’s place and we just wanted to invite you if you’d like.” Despite her charm, Asuma hummed and looked back at the house, considering the offer.

“I’d love to say yes but I’ve got a lot of work to do tonight and dad always needs help with the kids after day camp,” He tentatively was saying.

“Oh, do the kids live with you?” Kurenai asked.

“Yeah, kind of like an orphanage but we only take in the special cases.” Asuma said with a chuckle and Kakashi caught a bit of hesitation in his tone, hinting that his words weren’t the whole truth.

Kakashi got a vibe from him. He had a theory for why in his head but he wanted to wait and see before testing it out.

“That’s amazing.” Kurenai was saying, looking up at the home in awe. “Well, the offer still stands if ever you want to join us. We might get a little loud though.”

“Oh, don’t worry about us hearing. We’re usually louder than thunder over here.” He joked back and they all chuckled before shaking hands once again. “Well, it was nice meeting you and your girlfriend.”

A scoff immediately came from Kurenai as Kakashi snickered.

“I don’t think we’d ever date even if we were the last people on the planet.” Kakashi smiled while Kurenai giggled away. He debated cracking a gay joke but reeled it in before he could make ruin the friendly mood.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to assume.” There was a light dusting across Asuma’s cheeks in embarrassment but Kurenai waved away his words.

“Don’t worry about it.” She gave a silky smirk that everyone in their group knew as the staple of her first step in flirting. And Kakashi watched as her trademark smirk worked its magic, working its way onto Asuma’s face.

“It was nice meeting you, Asuma.” He interrupted with a handshake.

“You too, Kakashi.” Asuma quickly turned his attention back to Kurenai as Kakashi strategically started backing away, preparing to do an in-depth read on Asuma’s soul.

Kurenai reached for a handshake that lingered between them and Kakashi felt a little awkward, thinking that it felt like he was suddenly a third wheel. “It was very nice meeting you Asuma.”

“Pleasure meeting you as well, Kurenai. Maybe we’ll see each other before you head off back to Kuma.”

“Hopefully we do.”

The flirting was starting to come out a bit more and Kakashi started slowly back towards the road.

“Until then.”

Kakashi heard Kurenai start down after him and they both gave a wave goodbye as they left the way they came. And that was when it happened. It was a miniscule, warm breeze of energy that blew over them. He could feel it sweep over and analyse him as he saw Asuma’s eyes studying him, looking for a reaction as he waved.

If he was looking for a reaction, Kakashi would give it to him then. With a flare, Kakashi let his soul expand and burst out briefly against Asuma’s energy before reeling it back in.

Asuma’s hand faltered and that was all the indication Kakashi needed before he dropped his arm, heading back up the way they came and leaving the new neighbour to his affairs. That was all the confirmation Kakashi needed to tell him that he wasn’t the only supernaturally inclined person in town. He had blinked to Konoha two nights ago. He’d been at the elementary school.

It was still all very blurry but there was one name he couldn’t forget saying and he wondered what Naruto was up to now.

Back at home, they met up with Yamato who had done a good job of cleaning and party-proofing the house. Getting to work on the cake, Kakashi was well into cooking by the time Anko and Ibiki got back. They brought in tons of food and snacks that they were unpacking when Ibiki started, “We saw someone at the bakery, Ka-”

He was cut off by an elbow to the ribs and Anko shot him a look.

“Come here,” She ordered and dragged Ibiki down the hall and around a corner as the others slowed down their work in confusion. They couldn’t hear what was said or what was going on but Kakashi had a sneaking suspicion that they’d seen someone from their past and his mind immediately came up with a list of people he didn’t want to see. Hayate and Genma were off the list since they saw them that morning but Kabuto and Tsume were still two very prominent people Kakashi didn’t want to see. They hadn’t ever interacted out of their friend group during senior year and Kakashi sure as hell didn’t want to hear about them.

He turned his back and kept stirring.

The kitchen was smelling beautifully by the time they set up the food and drinks. That was about when people started to show up too. First, Genma and Hayate brought along a few new friends they’d never met before and they started mingling and talking about work and life. A whole slew of people then suddenly bombarded the place and then it descended into the chaos of social interactions. Almost everyone in town was there and Kakashi had to launch himself out the front door to get some peace and quiet.

“Okay, guys!” Anko was shouting at the door. “We’ll be back with Gai!”

An excited applause echoed out of the house and they looked at each other.

“That’s insane.” Kakashi awed as they headed for the car that they’d strategically placed right in front of the house so people wouldn’t park behind it.

As they got in and started backing out, Anko explained cheekily, “I only invited like ten people so all these other people are just party crashers.”

“Uh huh,” Kakashi peered at her from the driver’s seat as they backed onto the road. “And that’s totally why you said twenty to thirty earlier, right?”

“Totally,” She winked at him and they headed up for Gai’s as the sky was turning a deep orange, casting rays onto the tips of the trees and the occasional plain of grass.

“Sometimes I miss it,” She said softly after a few minutes and he hummed back in agreement. It was so peaceful and quiet. It was everything the city wasn’t. No one was rushing around or making huge noises. There was a calm, mellow feeling that eased their nerves, reminded them that this was their home. This was the place they grew up and out of.

“God, I’m gonna miss him.”

At first, Kakashi thought he’d said that out loud. “Me too.”

Driving up to the home, Gai was already at the door and they debated on what to do before deciding on a kidnapping strategy.

“You’re so late.” Gai then saw that it was just them. “Where are the others?”

He didn’t see their attack coming and they rolled him down to the car, manhandling him into the car to his delight at their attempts. With the wheelchair in the trunk, they sped back to Kakashi’s. The entire time, Gai wouldn’t stop asking them questions and they completely ignored him, pretending to talk about the weather and sports even though they knew nothing about sports.

“Why are we at your place?” Gai asked, still completely oblivious and it was only after they helped him into his chair, wheeled him up the makeshift ramp they’d made and opened the front door that the lights of the house turned on and everyone inside yelled. Confetti and music sprayed everywhere and Gai was in such shock at all of it that he didn’t know how to respond at first.

Everyone was patting him on the back. There were hugs and congratulations coming from every side and Kakashi looked down to see something he’d rarely ever seen and it warmed his heart.

Even after winning silver or gold, Gai hadn’t cried but that moment when the entire community of Konoha was praising him was when he broke. Tears came down in rivers and Anko quickly swooped in to give him a giant hug.

The party started hard and Kakashi found himself surrounded by tons of people he’d known for years, chatting and talking like they’d never been gone. Subjects were clearly being avoided like politics and religion but everyone was so interested to see if they’d found girlfriends or boyfriends. That was one Kakashi had to actively avoid but soon he was left to retreat to the front porch where he ate in silence for a bit, glad to get away from it all.

That silence didn’t last long though.

“Hey,” Genma came out from inside the house with a cup in hand. He seemed to clench and unclench his fingers nervously and the feeling rubbed off onto Kakashi. “Mind if we talk a bit?”

Glancing at the door for an escape, Kakashi saw that he couldn’t avoid this even if he wanted to. He hesitantly said, “Sure.”

“Cool, um…” Genma looked to the front door and saw the people who were right there before gesturing to the lawn. “Mind if we go for a walk?”

That was an indication that this talk was going to be very serious.

“Sure,” Kakashi stepped down from the porch, leaving his food on his seat. They walked around to the side of the house where there were mainly bushes and the log pile they kept for winter.

As they slowly walked together around the house, Genma started with, “I um… Well, I know we haven’t been on best of terms lately.”

Kakashi hummed faintly, listening guardedly to where this was going.

“And I know that we’ve all gone off and done our thing. Well, most of us have. Just…” He seemed just as nervous as Kakashi was about all this and that was at least comforting a little. “I know that the reason we haven’t talked since high school was because of me. Or at least the person I used to be.”

That caught Kakashi off guard.

“I was a stupid kid. I was really ignorant to the rest of the world and I didn’t want to see anything else. A lot of the things I said hurt people back then.” There was regret and grief reflected in his eyes and even though he avoided Kakashi’s gaze for the most part, he met Kakashi head on when he said, “I know now that I hurt you too back then and I’m so sorry about that.”

There was a moment of quiet before Genma started babbling a bit. “I just… I didn’t know any gay people at the time and I was afraid of them because I didn’t understand what being gay meant and my family all used to tell me that it was a sin and I… I didn’t think for myself and I’m so sorry, Kakashi. I-”

“Genma,” Kakashi cut off softly before the other man could go on. He stopped them along the side of the house, looking Genma in the eye with the same respect and admiration he was given a moment before. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

He would never have thought in a million years that he would be apologized to by someone he used to call a good friend.

Genma smiled back and they both moved in for an amiable hug now that they both had a heavy weight lifted from their shoulders. When they pulled away, Kakashi finished with, “I forgive you.”

“Thanks, Kakashi.” There was a playfulness to his smile and Genma nodded back to the house. “Let’s say we get back to the party, eh?”

“Go on ahead, I’ll catch up in a bit.” Kakashi excused and Genma happily took the out with another nod before trotting happily back inside.

When he was gone, Kakashi felt his whole being deflate, completely spent from that talk and needing some personal space.

He sat on top of the stacked pile of logs, closing his eyes and pushing everything out for a minute. There was so much to process and sort through. He was beginning to feel tired from it all. At least he didn’t have tons of past problems to sort through in Kuma.

The music from inside was thumping along and he could hear people laughing and the mumble of chatter through the walls.

They were almost inviting. For once, he wasn’t so heavy. With a scoff at himself, he pulled himself back inside and join his friends as they drank and ate with vigour. It was the last night of them being all together. Tomorrow, Yamato and Ibiki would head back to Kuma with the truck and the next day Anko, Kurenai and him would head back too, leaving Gai in Konoha.

That night, they laughed and sang their hearts out over cake. It was only long after midnight that people started to trickle out. Gai had made a bet that he could get up the stairs and incidentally won twenty bucks. The only downside was that he’d fallen asleep in Kakashi’s doorway. With some help from Ibiki and Hayate, they managed to get the man into Kakashi’s bed for the night to rest.

A few of the others complained about being tired and Kakashi set about making his room decent. With his body happily loose from liquor, he cleaned up some of the floor area for sleeping bags. He put away books he’d left out and was grabbing a stack he hadn’t touched in years off his desk when he spotted a familiar trio of books. Orange, red and green, the Icha Icha series by the one and only Jiraiya had been pushed aside and hidden under more books.

With a fond flip of the front page, Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle at the raunchy writing and silly metaphors that had always confused him to no end. He still hadn’t read the other two though. He would have to get around to doing that. He’d somehow finished the last book and remembered that Haru and Ryuji were breaking up and going to focus on their straight relationships.

Flipping open the second book, he immediately regretted that decision when he proverbially walking in on a threesome between Ryuji, Haru and Aiko. He threw the book back onto the stack but a bump told him that something fell behind his desk.

“Shit.” He saw the books were untouched and kneeled down to find what dropped. Squinting in the dark, he almost couldn’t make the shape out. He decidedly reached under and found something he hadn’t seen in many years.

The little box of chalk was dusty and looked like it hadn’t moved since the day it had been put there. He didn’t remember taking it back from the hospital. The clothes he had been wearing during the crash had all been thrown away. So, why was this little box of chalk here?”

Studying it in confusion, he caught a glimpse of something on the back.

Written in a black, thin-tipped marker, there were two words scrawled onto the back, small and simple.

‘Thank you.’

At first, he was confused. He couldn’t place the writing and couldn’t understand why anyone would want to thank him. He couldn’t remember doing anything for anyone…

Except bringing someone’s soul back from a binding.

Cradling the small box in his fingers, Kakashi knew that it had been there probably since the day Naruto was born. He wondered how long it had been in someone’s pocket and how it had survived this long.

But he set it back down. He didn’t want to hurt anymore from this. It was too nerve-wracking and he was too tipsy for this.

With a loud yawn, he went back downstairs to help everyone find a place to sleep.

Surrounded by his friends who were all draped and flopped over each other. He thought of his first crush some more. He eventually couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and pulling out of his body.

Standing amongst his friends, he thought of the one place he wanted to be right now. The blink this time was slow and lethargic, pulling him towards the edge of town until he was right in the middle of a field.

The grass had grown taller, the tree was a bit older but the stars were all the same. He would’ve been in such awe of nature’s beauty. It was such a sight to see, one he couldn’t see from the city and never took time to view. He would’ve been astounded but all he could think of was how he was alone there and how he didn’t want to be. He eventually went back to his body and fell asleep with that disappointment.

The next morning wasn’t really a morning at all. By the time everyone woke up, it was past noon and they were all snacking on cake and leftovers. Genma and Hayate had even woken up on Kakashi’s living room floor with headaches but happy smiles. It seemed like they were all getting along pretty well especially when they pulled out the breads Anko and Ibiki had bought at the bakery down the street.

Yamato and Ibiki were reluctant to go but Kakashi drove them back to Gai’s place a few hours later after they’d traded socials with the other guys. They climbed into the truck and waved him bye as they followed Kakashi until their paths split. When he came back home, he found that the others had tidied up nicely.

Genma and Hayate eventually said their goodbyes and the others got ready to go back to Gai’s too. Kakashi, Gai and the girls all left the house that evening cleaner than when they came in with smiles on their lips and a trio of books in Kakashi’s bag.

Back at Gai’s, they unpacked a little more and took it easy for the night. Tomorrow morning, they would leave near nine to go back to Konoha. For now, they lounged about Gai’s semi-furnished living room and talked about plans Gai had for decorating and furnishing the rest of the house since it was a lot bigger than his old apartment. Meanwhile, Kakashi sat in one of the chairs at the kitchen and read a bit which was no surprise to anyone.

The second book wasn’t as long as the first or third and happened to pass by relatively quickly. He’d started it while cleaning and found that it still had that silly charm he remembered. Apparently, Ryuji’s sister was good at being a dominatrix and Haru didn’t really like it but tried to anyway. Ryuji on the other hand had a baby with Aiko at some point and then she cheated on him with another woman but Ryuji forgave her after tons of angsty inner monologue. Then he got cheated on again and got a divorce all within the span of two years, getting custody of their child.

He finished the second book so quickly. He did skip a lot of the weird sex scenes though which really took up a lot of the book. Thankfully, they didn't have much impact on the plot except to enhance the main character's bedpost. By the time Kurenai offered him something to drink while they watched movies, he was already on the third book which looked significantly longer.

There were so many better books out there. Kakashi's collection back in Konoha was full of brilliant masterpieces. These books could never hold a candle to them in terms of true talent but they had their own silly flare. It was a careless kind of writing that helped him to forget about reality.

Gai was puttering around while the girls relaxed, looking for something to do to keep his mind and body busy. They were all coming down from the high of fun, relaxing and enjoying each other’s company while avoiding tomorrow.

Pakkun eventually woke up from a nap and ushered Kakashi outside for a walk around the block which was a very long one. They walked slowly through the expanse of houses together, quiet except for Pakkun’s trotting and Kakashi let himself feel at ease again.

The dark skies were shining through the trees and the houses were letting off a warm glow the further down he went. The trees would get taller the deeper he went into Konoha and then taper off when there would be buildings like the grocery store or the bookstore. It all felt so foreign but familiar at the same time. He remembered walking down these streets so many times but they felt different now. Maybe it was because he was different. He didn’t feel like it though. If anything, he felt like himself more than ever.

Throughout the years, he never needed to figure himself out much. He was lucky that way. He’d seen others go through that same struggle though; Gai, Anko and even Genma now. There were so many people out there who had been through horrible things and crazy things but life went on. Tomorrow would always come, a new day with challenges and turns of its own. He just had to take it in stride and keep moving.

He just didn’t know where he was moving to. He wondered if anyone really did.

It was something he thought about on the way back to Gai’s. Was he prepared to run a business for the rest of his life? He made a decent income and didn’t have any expensive needs but was he happy with where he was?

Those were questions that rolled through his mind even as he walked through the grass of the front lawn back towards the front door.

There were voices that made him pause though, his name specifically.

“Okay, you can’t tell anyone about this though okay? Especially Kakashi.” He could hear Anko say from the open window of the living room. He curtains they’d set up were drawn shut but he could hear Kurenai mumble, “Okay.”

“Anko,” Gai warned.

With a harsh shush, Anko cut Gai off but Kakashi had already heard.

“Please, Gai. I wasn’t going to tell anyone. Ibiki has such a big mouth.” He was reminded of when Anko and Ibiki came back the day before and how Anko had shushed him. He had been hiding something.

“Fine, just.... Tell me what happened.”

There was a sigh. “We were over at Choza’s, getting food for breakfast tomorrow and we had our backs turned but when we turned around, we saw him paying and by the time it hit me, he already out the door and gone.”

Kakashi felt like he’d been paralysed from the inside out, feeling like he knew who they were talking about. “How did you know it was him and not someone else?”

“It… It wasn’t that hard! He’s got a scar on his face for Pete’s sake!”

“Shhhh!”

It was quiet for a second before he heard Gai faintly ask, “What do we do?”

“That’s what I was going to ask you guys. Like, do we get him to come over? Do we try to get them together?”

“Do we even know where he lives?” Kurenai asked.

“I’m sure someone around here knows.”

Kakashi knew.

“We should let it be.” Gai was saying calmly. “If fate wants them to be together, they’ll find each other.”

There was a whine from Anko but Kurenai agreed, “Gai’s right. We don’t know if they even want to see each other.”

Anko didn’t reply and Kakashi wasn’t listening much after that. Their conversation devolved and eventually the television was the only noise.

Kakashi was left alone outside, back pressed against the side of the house and heart flipping in his chest. His fingers and chest were numb but he was trying to push it away.

He thought he’d moved on. After all this time. After he’d finally put all those memories in the past. Why was all the longing coming back? All the times he’d missed him?

Why was everything resurfacing just by the mere mention of him?

It was just a crush. Just his first crush.

Closing his eyes and pushing away all the feelings and memories, he brought himself back to his original thoughts. He ignored the ache and thought about his shop back in Kuma. He told himself that tomorrow morning he would drop the books off at the library, pick up the girls and head back home. Head back home to his small, comfy apartment with his dog and back to his life.

Was that what he wanted though?

He looked down to find Pakkun staring up at him with his big watery eyes and wrinkly face.

A few minutes later, he came back inside, trying to act like nothing had changed and the others didn’t take note of him. He simply sat at the kitchen table and tried to read. He tried to get lost in Ryuji’s kind of cute relationship with his small son but found he couldn’t get into it.

He tried falling asleep but felt he couldn’t. There was too much adrenaline in him. He thought of going over to the Uzumaki home. What would he even say?

It dawned on him though that sensing spirits was an innate ability of supernaturally inclined people like him, that people like him could probably already sense Kakashi from miles away. He wondered if that meant that he didn’t want to see Kakashi. That seemed very plausible.

It had been such a long time ago. So much had happened since then and Kakashi could have just been another blip on his radar, a moment in time together that was supposed to have been in the past.

Would he even remember?

Huffing to himself on his sleeping bag, Kakashi knew that it was a long shot. For someone that magical and amazing, it was had to think that they’d stay single for long.

With Kurenai curled up on the sofa beside him and Anko using the extra mattress, he listened to the crickets chirping outside and knew that he had a long night of struggling ahead of him. On one hand, he wanted to go looking but on the other, he wondered if he should just keep to himself. He was supposed to be moved on. Did that mean moving on as friends too?

Eventually, he picked up the last instalment of Icha Icha again to try and distract himself. At least this time he managed to get a hold of the plot and characters a bit more. This time, he realised that the characters seemed a lot calmer, even realistic at some points. Ryuji was raising his son happily by himself, learning with every new chapter about how to be a better father. It dawned on Kakashi that there hadn’t been any romance yet and he was already a quarter of the way through. It was oddly innocent and sweet.

After many minutes of confusion, Kakashi pulled out his phone to try and read up on the book’s rating. That led him down a rabbit hole about ‘Aiji Rya’ and how they made many books in their lifetime. There were apparently other series Jiraiya had written over the years but Icha Icha was the oldest and cheesiest of them all apparently, the last one published almost twenty years ago. It was kind of disappointing to find that this book wasn’t going to be as corny as the others, said to be the one that transitioned his writing from cheesy porn to epic ballads.

He felt committed to finish them though, as if it were his last link to the past that he had to overcome. It was long past midnight when he realised that he had to be up in four hours. Ryuji driving to the grocery store with his son was the last bit of mundanity Kakashi could take.

Snapping the book shut, he turned his back on it and decided that his main priority was getting the girls home safely, without being a tired mess while doing it.

He only realised he’d fallen asleep when a toe poked him awake and he opened his eyes to Kurenai smiling down at him.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” She headed off for the kitchen and let a ray of lamplight hit him right in the eyes, shocking him half-awake. The time was almost eight and the others were already moving about, helping to clean and gather their things.

Blearily, Kakashi followed along. They would head to Kuma soon and leave Gai here. Kakashi regretted not spending more time together but Gai was smiling that whole morning.

It baffled him but all their moods felt lifted and less weighed down despite having to leave, despite the rain outside.

The sky was grey and muggy with a warm summer storm. The wind wasn’t blowing but the rain was coming straight down in sheets. They had to bring their bags out to the car under an umbrella but Kakashi’s shirt was already soaked and sticking to his shoulders by the time they were ready to go.

“Kakashi!” Anko called as she ran back inside, shaking off water. “The books.”

“Shit, you’re right.” He’d almost completely forgotten about the books he’d brought for the library. “Mind if we swing by before we leave?”

The girls didn’t mind at all and it finally came down to saying goodbye to their friend. Arms on his wheels and a smile on his face, Gai joked, “Better not forget about me.”

“Of course not,” Kurenai scolded as she came in for a hug.

Anko in turn gave a long, drawn out goodbye and the kiss to his cheek had him blushing as she hurried out to the car. Kakashi was the last one to say goodbye and he didn’t feel sad. As he and Gai shared a quick but tight hug, he knew they would see each other again in his heart. He didn’t need plans to know that.

“See ya,” He winked and Gai chuckled, waving after them as Kakashi slid into the car and backed out. The car was quiet for a bit after that, letting everything sink in.

“It’s a nice place,” Kurenai reasoned. “We’ll have to come visit a lot.”

“Definitely,” Anko assured from the back where Pakkun was sitting on her lap but her eyes were trained outside on the rain outside and the way it came down so heavy.

The pattering against the car and the wipers were the only noise for a long time. The library finally came into sight near the edge of town. Pulling the box out of the back, Kakashi hurried up the steps to find that it wasn’t yet ten and Shikaku would definitely not be here yet. For a minute, he wondered if he should wait, reading the different advertisements on the bulletin board. Wondering when they’d started day camps, Kakashi instead left the box by the door where it was dry.

“They’re doing day camps now.”

“Oh yeah?” Anko huffed, breaking open a bag of bagels they’d bought the other day. “Damn, we didn’t have that as kids.”

“You’ve never been to summer camp?” Kurenai asked as they backed out, heading down the road that would take them through one half of Konoha, down towards the other end of Konoha and out to Kuma.

Anko was grumbling in the back about having to spend summer on the riverside and how it was always this hot. Eventually, they got on the subject of fishing trips Kurenai had with her dad just as they passed the elementary school. The road was curving hard towards the gas station and the intersection that would take them out of town.

Rain was coming down even harder now and Kakashi could barely see the road in front of them. He slowed down at the curve, worried about sliding off the road when they caught sight of a car on the side of the road in the opposite direction. Watching is fly by, he wondered whether they should stop but the question answered itself.

On the inside of the curve, they saw a person walking in the pouring rain and Kakashi let go of the wheel just enough to not hit them.

“Holy shit!” Kurenai called as they immediately slid to a stop and Anko started swearing like a sailor.

“What the fuck was that? Who walks in the middle of the fucking road! Fuck!”

As she swore, Kakashi was frozen stiff in his seat. This was too familiar.

Heart in his throat and inside screaming, he twisted in his seat to see the person who they’d almost run over through the back window. He saw their general outline through the rain. It wasn’t anything substantial but his bones were aching to get out of the car.

Throwing the car into park and the girls calling out after him, Kakashi threw himself out of the car into the pouring rain.

Under the warm summer rain, he stood in the road with his clothes and hair soaked in rain but he was too stunned to care.

Back down the road with his clothes even more drenched, his bangs plastered to his forehead and an arm over his eyes, Iruka Umino was standing in the middle of the road.

For a moment, he didn’t recognize Kakashi but the confusion melted away into shock.

And suddenly it was as if no time had passed. They were seventeen and Kakashi remembered what he’d felt back then. His very soul felt like it had come home from a long day's work with Iruka's aura nearby. His chest was beating so hard and so strong it hurt. It hurt to know that he’d ever been elsewhere than right in that moment.

And he saw it in Iruka’s eyes too, a relief.

“Hey,” Kakashi finally hailed with a waved in his daze. With a smile, he couldn’t help but ask, “Need a ride?”

He could see the way Iruka bit his lip and it sent thrills through him but the smirk was what brought him home.

“I might get your seat wet.” Iruka called back to him, the smile never fading.

In the middle of a summer rain in Konoha, Kakashi felt like he’d found what he’d been looking for. “Don’t worry about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my dearest viewers, thank you all for taking this ride with me.   
> I know this might not by the ending some of you wanted but it's the one that felt right.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. <3


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